mom just went into Resperatory Distress!
July 2nd 2007 01:50
my step dad just called!! The Dr just called him saying she went into resperatory distress and is now in ICU. I'm soo hurt because while talking to my step dad one of my younger brothers was bashing me because i didn't stay down there. Thats crap because my mom has been on and out of this all since November. I CAN'T just stay there. One i have NO one to stay with and hotels there are $70 a night even throup all those cheap hotel places, because it's twenty minutes from ST.Louis. i have animals galore, Kaitlyn has work. i just want to cry. How dare him. He's the brother taht goes around bashing everyone else behind their backs. He said to me when i was there, "so moms going to die on the table tomarow and your just going to go back to PA anyway!!" asshole!!! ffor one, he doesn't even know what the hell he's talking about because she wasn't going in for that sergury yt!! They still had, and still have no idea when they can remove the gang green foot because she isn't strong enough for the surgery. He bitches about my step dad to me,s ayiong he wants to becaome the one with all the rights over her, instead of my step dad cause he's not doing enough. My step dad has put up with that angry, hard to please, women for ten years. he does wonderful and the best he can with her. my brother just knows tyhat possibly someone can be sued fro her care and that she has gotten blood poisening twice now. it's all about money for him. Not my moms life thats slipping. she was too heavy and it took four people to move her, and my step dad couldn't do it so she had to go into the nursing home. we offered them to come here, but with what all was wrong with her, she couldn't. she's been back and fourth forever from the hospital to the home. He always wants to save her. Let the women pass if thats what she wants. stop freaken begging her to stay. her life isn't a life and i don't like the thought of never seeing her again, but i also don't like the thought of her laying there almost all the way blind, not able to walk since novemver, those soars all over her arms.
my brother tells us, "i sat there and fed her all her spaghetti and all her drink, her bread and stuff like he should get an award, like he's the only freaken one doing it. Kaitlyn feeds her every single time she goes. puts peanut butter on crackers my mom doesn't even know is there because they tell her but she forgets. but kaitlyn doesn't run out for recognition every time, telling everyone.
she's been in resperatory distress before, so theres always hope. <tears> my mom is dying though. when i go back down, and if Marcus says one fucking thing to me, i may punch him out. seriously, i wouldn't dare, but i'll sure wish i could and be imagining it in my mind. He's never been there for her. i have ALWAYS been there for her. even though she sold me from the age of 3-14, and beat us, and terrorized us, i LOVE her. she was all we ever had. and she punished herself for what she did to me,when i went into foster care at 17. she kept the blinds shut, and slept the rest of her life. getting up long enough to eat, then straight back to bed. She couldn't live with herself happy after what she had done. Many people said i should have went through, sending her to prison, but that was her prison. now i pray for her to forgive herself, which she won't do. i beg God to let her go to heaven and tell him if i can forgive her, that he should be able to too. i just want her to have life FINALLY and know how much i love her and forgive her.i don't know why she did what she did. we where very poor, and she wanted a better life for us. so she sold the only thing she had. "me".
she's been in resperatory distress before, so theres always hope. <tears> my mom is dying though. when i go back down, and if Marcus says one fucking thing to me, i may punch him out. seriously, i wouldn't dare, but i'll sure wish i could and be imagining it in my mind. He's never been there for her. i have ALWAYS been there for her. even though she sold me from the age of 3-14, and beat us, and terrorized us, i LOVE her. she was all we ever had. and she punished herself for what she did to me,when i went into foster care at 17. she kept the blinds shut, and slept the rest of her life. getting up long enough to eat, then straight back to bed. She couldn't live with herself happy after what she had done. Many people said i should have went through, sending her to prison, but that was her prison. now i pray for her to forgive herself, which she won't do. i beg God to let her go to heaven and tell him if i can forgive her, that he should be able to too. i just want her to have life FINALLY and know how much i love her and forgive her.i don't know why she did what she did. we where very poor, and she wanted a better life for us. so she sold the only thing she had. "me".
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Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
No-one can accurately predict just when someone will go. You travelled a long way to see her, do not let guilt or the badwill of others add to your grief.
It's a hard time for you.
God Bless,
katyzzz
Comment by Lily
Ars Poetica
do the best you can, it is enough, ignore the others and be kind to your self.. from a voice of experience
Prayers go up and my heart goes out to you Tammy..
~Lily
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Much warmth,
Tracy
Comment by charliesgirl_992000
Histeries, Mysteries and what not
Lifes little slices
Mystical Creativity
I will head to my mom when it is the right time!
Take great care, Tammy
Comment by charliesgirl_992000
Histeries, Mysteries and what not
Lifes little slices
Mystical Creativity
hugs, Tammy
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Sending you best wishes,
Tracy
Comment by Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
What an awful burden for your brother to put on your shoulders. As everyone has already said you have done what you could and your mum knows that you have been to see her - that`s what`s important.
I`m really sorry you are in such a position. My word it takes a very unique person to be able to forgive someone for doing hurtful things to them - the way that you look at it though...
That`s an amazing statement Tammy!
I hope smoother paths are around the corner for you and you take the time out to relax over the 4th July weekend.
much love
ash
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
That statement stood out to me too:
Comment by charliesgirl_992000
Histeries, Mysteries and what not
Lifes little slices
Mystical Creativity
Tammy
Comment by charliesgirl_992000
Histeries, Mysteries and what not
Lifes little slices
Mystical Creativity
Tammy
Comment by charliesgirl_992000
Histeries, Mysteries and what not
Lifes little slices
Mystical Creativity
Tammy