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The first reviews have hit, and even if you discount Oprah’s opinion right off the bat, things are sounding promising – in a non-specific kind of way.
The Fox News review by Roger Friedman promises all will be swell, but offers no insight into why. The only thing that stood out to me was this: “Don’t we worried by all the upscale affluence and opulence. King very smartly has anticipated the current economic mood in this country. There’s a subtle surprise in the third act that addresses it.”
Sarah Jessica Parker - Image courtesy of foxnews.com
Really? Even with the show and its stars renowned for being purveyors of up-to-the-minute couture trends? Even with Sarah Jessica Parker having eighty-one wardrobe changes throughout the film, and wearing her share of the US$2.5 million of jewellery used on set? My interest is piqued as to what this surprise could be…
Some definite good news though, is that the movie has been given an American R Rating, defying jaded expectations that the story would be watered down to suit New Line and thereby gain millions more at the box office with clamouring teenage girls. This is one sign at least, that Hollywood involvement won’t mean a complete rehash of what Sex and the City stands for. And that’s not all: Michael Patrick King is almost denying that Big will die. His death was a rumour that, ah, sprang to life early in production, and rose its ugly head again due to recent remarks by Cynthia Nixon.
But maybe Big did die and the scene was cut? Apparently whole characters and plot lines have been discarded from the film, leaving the movie quite different from the story originally penned by King, which is being released as a book. So don’t worry if you don’t like the flick – maybe the SATC novel will give you the fix you crave! Hope abounds.
Michaelie Clark
What are you planning to do with your mother this Mother’s Day (Sunday, 11th May)? Take her to a spa? Out for lunch? Shopping? To a shooting range? May I suggest: a bottle of wine, petit fours and a DVD or two? You can’t go wrong, especially with my carefully prepared selection guide. Simply find the category that best fits your mum, select one of the movies listed below, and give thanks for her maternal blessing.
Psycho
Mommie Dearest: Be grateful she never beat you with wire hangers.
Razzle Dazzle: Be grateful she doesn’t wear matching sequins.
Bad Boy Bubby: Be grateful she let you outside.
Carrie: Be grateful she didn’t lock you in a cupboard for hitting puberty.
Wire hangers are evil! Image courtesy of tvgasm.com
Harlot
Forrest Gump: Be grateful you learned your ABCs without her shagging about.
American Pie: Be grateful she hasn’t bonked your mates.
Stifler's Mom picks up - Image courtesy of moldova.org
Plays Favourites
Babe: Be grateful she doesn’t prefer a pig over you.
Sophie’s Choice: Be grateful she didn’t give you to the Nazis.
Favourite of the litter - Image coutesy of utexas.edu
Bitch
Titanic: Be grateful she hasn’t left you to drown.
Sybil: Be grateful she hasn’t caused you to develop thirteen personalities.
Yes, Mother - Image courtesy of online.no
Strange
Meed the Fockers: Be grateful she didn’t keep your foreskin.
The Addams Family: Be grateful she isn’t friends with a severed hand.
About A Boy: Be grateful she didn’t make you wear fugly hats.
Matching fugliness - Image courtesy of bbc.co.uk
Now aren’t we all appreciating our mothers more! Unless of course, she has done all of the above, in which case, please go paint-balling instead.
I’m lucky. My mama is legendary.
Michaelie Clark
Ever want to step outside yourself, into another person’s flip-flops? Ugg boots? Stilettos? Loafers with fringing? Possibly even Reebok Pumps, which I hear are making a comeback?
Maybe you do already. Maybe you’ve tripped over your own feet. Maybe you’ve stepped on everyone’s toes, or kicked them in the teeth. Maybe you’ve developed corns or contracted athlete’s foot. It seems the shoe won’t always fit, even if you fashion it yourself.
But don’t go hobbling to the cobbler! I can help you walk a winding path, weaving to while weaving fro, without once being brought to heel. Unless, of course, you’re so THiCK that nobody can save your soles.
Lesson One: Be Aware – Fight Club
The first rule of multiple personalities - Image courtesy of angelfire.com
Tyler Durden was everything our unnamed narrator wanted to be – and was, without even knowing it. He thought he was watching the world from behind a pane of glass, only to find out too late it was a mirror. He was seeing himself and everything was backwards.
Lesson Two: Use Costume Effectively – Mrs Doubtfire
Don't lose your mask, or your dentures - Image courtesy of videodetective.com
Daniel Hillard, an out-of-work, middle-aged voice actor finds the perfect disguise in order to gain access to his children: Mrs Doubtfire, a sturdy British dame with a floral pinny and plenty of balls. He could have gone on fooling everyone closest to him – but he let his mask slip.
Lesson Three: Know When The Jig is Up – Catch Me if You Can
No longer flying high - Image courtesy of dailymail.co.uk
After posing as a French teacher, an airline pilot, an FBI agent, a lawyer and a doctor, Frank Abagnale was finally caught by the man who had pursued him for years. Acknowledging he had been beaten, Abagnale made friends with his captor, and ended up earning millions catching cons and preventing forgeries.
Lesson Four: Don’t Leave Evidence – The Talented Mr Ripley
Lunacy over logic - Image courtesy of aol.com
Tom Ripley was talented alright, morphing into whomever he chose to be – but he cut it very fine, many times, by needlessly giving himself away. He didn’t dispose of the evidence, he didn’t cover his tracks, and he let himself go feral just a bit too often.
Lesson Five: Don’t Push It – The Nutty Professor
Nutty as they come - Image courtesy of filmfreakcentral.net
Nice guy Julius Kelp transformed himself into Buddy Love, a cool dude with attitude – too much attitude. His alter-ego becomes more and more obnoxious and egocentric until, when his true identity is finally revealed, he finds that he has risked alienating those who loved him for himself all along.
Lesson Six: Remain Sane, Avoid Evil – Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde
Evil takes over - Image courtesy of videowatchdog.com
Kindly Dr Jekyll loses control in his attempt to prove that good and evil co-exist. He is taken over by Mr Hyde, a monkey-like madman and murderer who destroys his life and the lives of those around him.
Lesson Seven: Have Fun – Dating the Enemy
Discovering my new penis - Image courtesy of iweb.cz
Well, what else are you supposed to do when you find yourself in the body of a lover you are constantly at odds with? Make a bit of mischief and take advantage of all the impossible opportunities suddenly at your fingertips.
Now, what have we learned about multiple identities?
Michaelie Clark
With the original theme song of Sex and the City still able to make a woman’s head snap to attention within the first bar, it’s no wonder the soundtrack of the upcoming film has been made a priority.
As expected, new movie cast member, Jennifer Hudson, who will play Carrie Bradshaw’s assistant, Louise, will have a singing role to go with her acting one. According to writer/director Michael Patrick King, Hudson will be belting out her track ‘All Dressed Up in Love’ as the end credits roll
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There's plenty suddenly floating around so I will give them to you in point form. Some are small and unconfirmed; some are huge and straight from the horse’s mouth. (No, I am not having a go at SJP!) So, without further ado:
Sarah Jessica Parker - Image courtesy of layddee.com
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More details from the personal lives of the stars of Sex and the City are coming to light as the countdown to the big screen release draws near. First, Kristin Davis’ sex tape from her hellion days emerges; now Cynthia Nixon announces that she was diagnosed with breast cancer… several years ago. And to top it all off, Evan Handler is now speaking out about his own experience with cancer as a young man. The timing of these scandals and announcements seems somewhat suspect.
Cynthia Nixon - Image courtesy of tbs.com
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Word is that David Walliams and Matt Lucas will have Little Britain USA up and filming within the week – but what of the once planned Little Britain movie? Since 2006, there has been talk of film interest from the US, with the possibility of a TV series thrown in for good measure, but while it seems the American version of the show has come to fruition, the feature length production has not.
Matt Lucas as Daffydd Thomas: I'm the only gay in this village! Image courtesy of brightlightsfilm.com
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Diarise it, ladies. Sex and the City: The Movie is shaping up to be a two hour plus mega-session – how else will they fit all the rumoured crises in? And it looks like it’s coming Down Under (ahem) on June 5th. Yep, according to Hoyts, we Aussies are going to be out of the Sex loop for about a week, unless we all fly to Cannes or New York, the two places tipped for the world premiere. I foresee a lot of pirating on the sly PCs.
Faking it - Image courtesy of buzznet.com
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They may have finished filming, but it seems the acting is just beginning, with the Sex and the City girls throwing themselves into full publicity mode – despite persistent rumours of catty quarrels.
Pretending to like each other - Image courtesy of snarkerati.com
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Would you put your bum on the big screen? Would you voluntarily show millions of people your buttocks, at thirty times their actual size? If not, don’t worry: Brad Pitt won’t either. If so, have your derriere assume an attitude! There are opportunities aplenty for arse roles. With the right direction and some natural flair, your very own rear could have an illustrious career – as a stunt butt!
What stunts can this butt do? Image courtesy of rooshv.com
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Comment by Michaelie
on Fifty Film Frustrations
Flick Wit
I think I must just like to find the flaws in everything. Lol. Mind you, there are quite a few movies that are hopelessly flawed, which I still adore anyway. I just like to know what I'm dealing with!
No it's not, but it's obviously easier to look at the pretty pictures and not read at all! No wonder some people get the wrong end of the stick regarding what a post is actually about...