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It is amazing how the value and the expectation of friendship is different from a country to an other and I guess crossing other cultures we have to adapt to their meaning. In some cultures a friend is someone with whom you can share anything and everything whereas in other it is more about the ones you party with and have fun, or even in some countries acquaintances are called friends.
Despite their differences in all cultures and countries we have the notion of friendship but it seems that in the modern society friendship seems more and more selfish. you might argue that actually that is a bit of a generalization and maybe not even true but think about it a bit longer. In my observations I noticed that people are more an more focused on their own person. Sure we are part of an individualistic society, TV ads even people tell us to take care of ourselves, that it is the most important. That most certainly influences our behavior. Seriously you think we are not selfish in friendship?
well I asked the question on the so famous at the moment facebook: will you do for a friend? and you wouldn't believe the answers I got. A popular answer was friendship was like business. like business? It depends on what you get from your friends?
I do agree that any relationship should go both ways but business????
Anyway, you will notice easily specifically if you like to please people that you are often taken advantage of. It is OK for you to travel to your friends place but you live too far for them to come. It is OK for you to change your plans to do something with them but maybe not the other way round. Concessions are easier your side, worse some might tell you that you don't mind really so it makes it OK.
I am not saying that we are all looking for somebody to take advantage of but just trying to see and analyze why these behaviors are becoming common.
Maybe it is true that we are all selfish in some extent but been brought up in a collectivist society I tend to think that maybe today we are brought to think of one's self first but that making things for and with others makes us happier.
Aren't we feeling more and more lonely and depressed in our modern individualistic society, according to the statistics?
Maybe we should try to reflect on why and look on how we conceive our relations with others and maybe change them.....
We have all lost sight of people dear to us and quite often when I reflect on it there were often one sided relationships, or they ended up because everybody was so focus on himself/herself.
I was in the cinema the other day thinking after the 10th time I see the same thing, that if I see somebody injecting himself with heroin I will scream! That when it stroke me: despite the fact that I never tried, seen drugs or drug consumers before I know what what is there to know to be a user! I know how to smoke it, sniff it, inject it(I am talking about exactly how to do so: putting a rubber band on my arm, mixing the drugs with the blood before finally injecting it), burn it to have the fumes...etc. All that thank to the movies! well knowing all that I wonder how come I never tried and the effect that might these images have on easily influenced teens. I would understand the profusion of these images in movies that deals with addiction issues, or if they actually give an input to the story but quite often they don't; and quite honestly I think that they can be suggested instead of shown as an everyday scene. Showing people getting, smoking, injecting drugs in daily lives just along with a story that has nothing to do with it, just makes things seem more acceptable, more normal just like somebody smoking or drinking tea.
That makes me think of all the other things that are shown as normal, or that might become acceptable behaviors because of advertising or movies, such as ,well, showing rapes in movies , people having sex in almost every single movie quite often just after meeting each other, women always called "bitches", cheating couples and much more.
And I forgot to mention the profusion of strip clubs where it seems normal to hang out in even for cops.
I guess sure there is a reality that we should not ignore, but there are many things that influences the audience and they way of thinking specifically when they are at a young age.
Well if I just base my reflection on movies, it seems that women sleep around with strangers just for fun and are always called bitch and sometimes they don't get offended been called so. So why would you get offended if I guy said that about you?
Then there is what is transmitted by the teens movies and series. All the discussions and events are about girls looking pretty and girlfriend boyfriends. How does that influence the teenagers? Having sex in these movies are so normal that a teen might feel abnormal not doing it. Isn't that partially responsible for these kids who get pregnant at an age where they are still playing with teddy bears and had no clue that they could be pregnant?
I guess there are many things like that that I can see in movies that teach me things that I might not want to know or need to now, as a teen as a women, as a father ...etc.
It might seem that all the clubs are more or less similar; but it does not suffice to pay your lessons, buy a kimono and get started to be in good hands. You might even be satisfied with your club ; but because you don't have any comparison point it might not be a good one.
Clubs can make a big difference on what you learn, the skills you get and even if you enjoy the martial art or no. Adding to that, when the instructor is not good enough you might hurt yourself just because you are not doing the moves properly.
First things always go for a trial (one session or two); to try and see what is going on in the class.
Don't forget that the Sensei or instructor being good in his discipline doesn't imply that him being a good instructor.
An instructor that is not looking at you when showing you a move is not a good instructor: first because u see better what he is doing, second because he can see you doing it and therefore correcting you.
An instructor that shows you a move and make you repeat it just a couple of times is not a good instructor: to get a move correctly you have to repeat it again and again and again and again. Why? because you have the time to remember it, to sens if you are doing it right (quite often it is not the case in the beginning, you are unbalanced...etc) by repeating it you feel if there is something wrong or not; and for your instructor to have the time to see what everybody does and correct them.
An instructor that stops everybody from doing an exercise (kick, punch or even push ups) to show one or two persons how to do it is not a good instructor. The only time he should stop everybody is in the unlikely case that almost everybody is doing it wrong. In that case you may wonder why the higher belt are doing it wrong too? they should not.
An instructor who separates beginners and advanced (different classes or separation within the same class) didn't quite well understand the principle of the martial art Dojos. why? Simply because it is part of the philosophy and the goals of the martial arts to mix the different level:
It makes you progress more and more quickly as a beginner, because you are pushed by the fact that you are competing or training with people who are more experienced. They can give you advices, you will see things and experience things that you will not with only beginners. You will see new moves that you would like to try and get excited by the things you will soon be able to do. It will be more challenging and more interesting.
You may wonder what would that bring to an experienced. Well first humility, there is always things to learn from everybody even if you are experienced. You can at that that everybody needs to work and their basic moves, experienced or not. And finally helping the others and seen the others make mistakes can improve your own understanding when you try to help them out.
An instructor that actually tells you to do not try this or that because it might be too difficult for you (specifically if they don't know what you are able of) is ..... well you got it now: NOT a good instructor. Why? because he should push you at least to try, and push you outside your comfort zone. The way to progress is trying new things and challenging yourself and pushing your limits. My best instructors used just a little bit more: a little bit more than what I though I could for the stretching, a little bit more for the exercises, a little bit higher for the kicks and surprisingly you can do a little bit more then what you thing is your limit. not too much either but a tiny bit not too much you can get hurt.
Surely you have noticed that I focused on what the instructor shouldn't do but these are common things that I noticed in clubs, as the same time I explained what he should do instead.
What should he/she do?
-face you at all time
-correct you individually
-make you repeat again and again the moves
-push your limits
-mix experience and inexperienced , boys and girls
-and one thing that I didn't mention before but lead the warming not ask you to do it yourself. It is very important to warm up properly so you will not hurt yourself stupidly and who better then him knows how and which muscles are going to be involved in the training?
These are starting points to evaluate a good club the rest is up to you to evaluate it: competitively, ambiance of the clubs...all kind of things that can interest you or disturb you in a club.
I have to point at the fact that this is an advice for martial arts not necessarily to any sport: for example if you do boxing I am not sure it is good to put experienced and beginners together... and so on.
Good luck in finding your club or changing to a new one!
We are, there is no doubt about it, in a consumer society. Everything is seen as a product that can be consumed, almost all our joys today are packaged and ready for us: our sports, food, learning a new language, playing cards.... name it, it is there waiting for you. There is a club, a bar , a casino, an association that provides it. Downside, well.... you have to pay for it. Some are more affordable then others. We are so used to consume everything that maybe we are getting to forget that we can appreciate and do a lot of things without paying for it.
Numerous time I heard people saying: "I am not doing anything this weekend because I am broke". That results by people staying at home bored or not in front of their TV.
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It seems that for numerous people their blog is in a way their diary. The question is why would you think your diary will interest people? Do you lead such an unusual or extraordinary life? But most of all who are these people who read these blogs and why do they do it?
I can't help it to think that they are among the same people that spy on people on the internet.... Well you know these people who put a camera in their room and people come regularly to see what they do. mmmmm..... doesn't that reminds you of numerous TV shows?
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September 18th 2007 10:40
I was told few days ago that I should reconsider my drinking position (I don't drink), since I am in Australia and that they drink beer in every occasion. That's an odd statement really. But what does it really hide?
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September 18th 2007 06:42
We all experience these days where we'd better stay at home, don't we?
These days where from the start you drop your coffee on yourself, don't find your keys, miss the bus.... And these days we know that we'd better stay at home, so tell me why don't we do it?
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........ They are not olive or black!
It is crazy how the stereotypes are incrusted in the mind of people in some countries. Still I don't get it we are in Australia, aren't there enough people from Libanon and other Arab countries?
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"Money has always ruled the world and it will always be like that", "Nothing will ever change", "Politics is boring, and all politics are the same, why bother?", "We can not really change things, poverty will always be part of our world"..... These affirmations among others from the same type are the ones you often get if you discuss politics and social change with the young generations. That, if they even want to even discuss the subject and do not answer that they do not really feel concern and they they would rather discuss an other topic more entertaining like the latest movie, song or the last event of some artist they idolize. Don't misunderstand me, I make this observation from the inside, I am talking about my generation and the ones after.
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Comment by Micha Nadia Mathieu
on All the things I learned from the american movies!
Art_culture _and_today's_issues