MelissaA

Sydney, New South Wales, AUSTRALIA


Joined August 30th 2006

Number of Posts:
539

Number of Comments:
1326

Karma:
5



I'm an Aussie born-and-bred, full of useless information and inane thoughts, currently living in the land of pork pies and sweeping rains. Looking for true madness? Look no further!

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598 Post(s)

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Recent Posts

A VALENTINE For OSAMA BIN LADEN!

February 9th 2010 23:27
Osama Bin Laden
Peter comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," he asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"

Peter's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"

"Osama Bin Laden," David says.

"Why Osama Bin Laden," his father asks in shock.

"Well," Peter says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."

His father's heart swells and he looks at his boy with newfound pride.

"Peter, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."

"I know," Peter says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines shoot him."
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What's That I Smell???

February 8th 2010 22:00
flaming fart
In 1993, a Sydney nutritionist and his partner conducted a survey to find out who farts the most - Australian men or Australian women.

The results were overwhelming, in more than one way I'd imagine, as it was proven that not only did the men have more Thunder Downunder, but theirs also smelt the worst!

The participants also kept a daily diary on their eating habits, proving also that the well known opinion that fibre, in particular baked beans, was responsible for more than its fair share of emissive gases, although they were unable to provide a link between flatulence and beer intake.
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POMS, POMS, POMS!!!!

February 7th 2010 22:47
Having lived in Pom-land after 2.5 years, and now
london double decker bus
're-transported', I thought I might start off with the whole origin of the word Pom or Pommy as Australian slang for a Brit.

Everyone has their own version of where they think the term came from, the better known usually being one of theses three:

a) Prisoner of Mother England
b) Port Out, Starboard Home, dealing with the physical position the English would take on a ship to and from Australia.
c) Prisoner of Her Majesty

Each of these acronyms is exactly that - an acronym. The problem there being that acronyms themselves did not start developing until World War 1, and didn't really take off widely until WW2, so most experts will agree that Pom therefore is not an acronym.

There is however another widely accepted version by those 'in the know', being that the word is short for 'pomegranate'.

pomegranate
So why pomegranates, and what's the connection to English people?

In a country like Australia where rhyming slang has been a part of the nation's history and culture, 'pomegranate' is believed to be rhyming slang for 'immigrant'. Coupled with this was the fact that when the English would emigrate to Australia, for the first few months at least, in the harsh Australian heat, their cheeks would turn a rosy, round, pomegranate red!
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Pink Panther
Hi all, I know it's been a while, but there's been good, although frustrating reasons for that.

I've come home to Sydney again, permanently this time - stuff is on a container ship as we speak and everything is finally being lined up properly, including WORKING INTERNET!!! YIPPEEE!!!

[ Click here to read more ]
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Partridge in a pear tree
Well it's that time of the year again and as per their usual standard, PNC have compiled their Real Cost Of The 12 Days Of Christmas for 2009, complete with video, with the following results:

* One Partridge in a Pear Tree: $159 – down 27%

[ Click here to read more ]
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Jokes to Drive Tiger Mad

December 4th 2009 13:24
Car crash
OK, so as you may expect, there are a fair few jokes going around at the moment about Tiger Woods and his driving 'mishap', so I thought I'd share some of the better ones with you all.


[ Click here to read more ]
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The Cat Before Christmas

December 2nd 2009 15:10
cat
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
Cos the cat had pounced on him and tore him apart

[ Click here to read more ]
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world map geography free

The stereotypical differences between Aussies, Brits, Americans and Canadians.

[ Click here to read more ]
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The RULES Of AIR TRAVEL

September 16th 2009 16:55
aeroplane
1. No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the normal delay in order to make it on time.

2. If you ARE running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Technology for Country Folk!

September 5th 2009 16:43
computer stress
So just how are our country cousins keeping up with the digital age? Here's someone's humourous take on it all Technology for Country Folk.

Apologies to all those computer and internet savvy readers, but it is fun for a laugh - just pretend it's not about you, but your nextdoor neighbour.
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Recent Comments

Comment by MelissaA
on Why are there no ad's?!?!

June 3rd 2009 15:17
You beat me to it - I was just coming back to say that it's Firefox that's the problem for some reason.

When I use Safari (which I don't really like) it's fine.

Weird thing is, it's never had a problem with Firefox before....

I wonder if that's why my ad payments have dropped significantly - I know a lot of people do use Firefox?

Thanks for your help with it.

Comment by MelissaA
on Why are there no ad's?!?!

June 3rd 2009 14:13
Hmmm, why am I not seeing that then....????

I also cant see the panel that runs down the left hand side with archives etc.

Do you suppose my computer's had enough for the day and wants to go to bed early?

Comment by MelissaA
on Why are there no ad's?!?!

June 3rd 2009 13:15
Not this time, it's a complete formatting change as well by the looks of it, and I never touched a thing.

I can't even find a simple hyperlink ad! And trust me, Google has no trouble linking ads to my blog posts.

http://www.funfacts.com.au/ if you want to see what I mean.

Comment by MelissaA
on Why are there no ad's?!?!

June 3rd 2009 11:27
Yes, FunFacts is having the same problem....

What's going on???

Comment by MelissaA
on The Definitive Aussie Rock Anthem

March 13th 2009 13:00
Well MNG, you beat me to it with 'Australiana' - I wish they'd put that on iTunes actually so I can play it for all my Pommie friends.

I have to say that living in the UK gives you a stronger perspective of our really great Aussie tracks. I certainly play them a lot more these days than I used to, but there's still so many to choose from. Australia after all, has a great music culture so the list of tracks is endless, but the top of my ipod playllist at the moment tends to have:

The Sounds of Then - Gangajang
Khe - Sanh & Flame Trees - Cold Chisel
Reckless - Australian Crawl
Under the Milky Way - The Church
Solid Rock - Goanna
What's The Deal - 28 Days
1000 Miles Away - Hoodoo Gurus
Leaps and Bounds - Paul Kelly
Great Southern Land - Icehouse
Beds Are Burning & Power & The Passion - Midnight Oil
Miles & Miles - Noiseworks
I Make Hamburgers - The Whitlams
Treaty - Yothu Yindi
I was Only 19 - Redgum
The Pub with no Beer - Slim Dusty

I would keep going with Screaming Jets, Noiseworks, Boom Crash Opera and everything by Crowded House, but I'll never finish the list.

On a side note, one of my most often played 'Australian Anthems' I'll play continuously until the day I return home is 'London Calling' by The Waifs, and on Australia Day we play 'The Aussie BBQ Song".


P.S. I've been trying to post this for days - my laptop just doesn't like Orble at all! It won't even let me comment on my own blog - how sad is that!

Ms M - if you type words like 'rainbow' and 'innuendo' into YouTube, you should find another version.

That's the 2nd time this clip has been removed from the system as it were.

OK, since you asked Wilson, (W tongue rolling impressive by the way!) I:

Can roll my tongue
Have attached earlobes
Second toe in NOT longer than big toe
No Dimples
Right-handed
Widow's peak
Right Thumb on top when Hands Crossed
No hair on middle finger
Straight little finger

Between you, me and Cheryl there, maybe we should start up a survey. Anyone else out there want to join in the fun???

Comment by MelissaA
on Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!

October 14th 2008 08:08
Which direction they should take getting out of there.

Comment by MelissaA
on Vehicle Registration Tax Disc Excuses

October 1st 2008 16:57
OK Lori, I had to speak to one of my US friends about it as I have no idea having never lived in the US myself, but I can tell you that DVLA(UK) / RTA(AUS) = (US) DMV.
And we think that Tax disc (UK) / Rego(AUS) = US. License/Number plates on the registration of your car.

We're not sure about the Pink slip/MOT thing - she doesn't seem to think there is anything similar over there.
Hope that makes it a little clearer for you anyhow.

Comment by MelissaA
on OK, so I stuffed it again......

September 16th 2008 09:39
Thanks Lori, it's getting there somewhat - at least the pain has more or less stopped, but it is a tricky area of the body that one in terms of growing back etc isn't it.
I remember a lady back years ago that I knew who wasn't so lucky after getting 3 of her fingertips caught in a blender and as a result some parts didn't regrow.

Oh well, fingers crossed!