Meditations of a Marine Mom
June 21st 2009 14:27
As we approach the 4th of July I think about my son who is currently serving in Afghanistan. I think back to the thoughts I wrote down after visiting with my son just prior to his deployment. This thoughts are as follows:
Meditations of a Marine Mom upon the 1st deployment of her son
March 15, 2009
This is the most emotionally numbing experience. You raise your child to be responsible, caring adult. You watch him grow into a delightful young man who you enjoy.
Then being the independent person that he is he decides to join the Marine Corp.
I have always felt like I was a patriotic person and appreciated those who served our country in the armed forces. Then my son decides on this as a career path. I did everything I could think of to dissuade him and convince him that it was the wrong decision. But he is determined……………I know he is looking for a feeling a belonging to something important…He is looking to prove something to his father, and to himself. When I see that there is no way to talk him out of his decision I have to support him. So, off to boot camp he goes. Time passes…..he does well in boot camp and graduates. He has faced loneliness, a test of his will, his physical prowess.
I attend graduation and am filled with pride in my son. He stands tall among many other young men who have accepted this challenge and met it successfully. I am impressed that there are so very many young men who are making this choice and to learn the history of the Marine Corp that I never knew. Many friends have asked me the “Why?” question of his decision. I must ask because I do not have a definitive answer. His answer……..”I wanted a physical and mental challenge that I was not absolutely sure I could meet.” All I could say was “Good answer.”
Then he has the opportunity to qualify for MARSOC Marine Special Operations Command. Special Forces………..sounds scary to me. I must ask the question “Why?” His answer……..I wanted to be the best of the best.
Then two years of training from dive school to become a combatant diver… to learning how to do surveillance, physically, and electronically, SEERschool ( I don’t know if the acynym is correct) but it is the school where they learn to deal with interrogations, escape and much more very scary stuff for a mom to think about. Now he is barely 21 years old and such a mature, self assured young man I could not be more proud of the accomplishments of his still very young life. He prepares for deployment to Afghanistan. The world is in turmoil and I know that here is where the rubber hits the road. I know that he is willingly putting himself in harms way for the sake of the country he loves and believes in. He and I must both trust in his training and God’s will to keep him safe. My heart aches for him as he ventures out to face this life changing experience. We have talked endlessly about his options and whether he wants to stay in the Marine Corp or get out. Start college via correspondence school or wait until he returns. What he can do with his training and education. He wants to make a positive difference in the world. I pray that he will have the opportunity to do so.
The worries and concerns of others seem small and petty. I am learning what he meant when he told me of feeling more patriotic than ever before during agraduation ceremony at the end of SEER school. Once you have decided what your values are in life and know that you are ready to put your life on the line for them then you truly know what it means to be patriotic. You know that your values are true values and not just preferences.
Visiting my son the weekend before this 1st deployment I find I can not clearly identify all of my emotions. I want to hold him and hug him, watch him and absorb every detail about him. I want to laugh with him, know his friends, cry with him but yet I do not want to appear weak so no crying this visit. I know he draws from the strength of my support.
He states I just want to go…………….I am tired of waiting. Two years of intense training in preparation for this day I try to understand. I sort of do understand.
On Tuesday, March17, 2009, my son will leave for Afghanistan, what the future holds we do not know. Will I be strong enough to handle whatever comes our way? I can only wonder at this point. My husband and I meet his friends. One very close friend introduces me to the others as “Mom” I am so honored. I look at their fresh young faces and although we have dubbed them as adults they look so young to me. Yet as they laugh, party and enjoy themselves I know that they have chosen to take the road less traveled. They have learned skills and volunteered to place themselves in harms way for the benefit of all those who live in this free country of ours.
I have had the honor of meeting a number of young Marines and some have had wonderful conversations about their thoughts and dreams and values. They value their freedom, family, trustworthiness, and honesty. Many of them do not see the military way of life as a career but an opportunity to do something worthwhile with their lives and grow, mature gain focus and direction for where they would like to go next. Each one of them is a wonderful individual to whom we owe a great debt that can never be repaid.
Many of these young people do not have total support from all their family members. Whereas, I understand this because the last thing I wanted for my son was to have him learn to be a soldier. I wanted him close to me where I could enjoy his company. But if families knew how important it is to these young men and women I think that families would behave differently. When my children were young I thought the stages of raising them to be responsible self sufficient adults was difficult and the hardest part. Then as each of my children reached the age of independence they taught me that there are many paths to the responsible adulthood I was guiding them toward. None of them chose to that the route I had planned for them after high school. And yet they are each responsible self sufficient adults. Joshua, the youngest made the choice that was hardest for me to accept. The military…………and not just a safe clerk type job but the Marine Corp and special forces in the Marine Corp. As much as I did not want him to take this path he has learned many skills that will serve him well in civilian life, he is an incredibly responsible self sufficient young man of whom I am very proud. He has accomplished things that most never will in their entire lives. And he lets me know that he still needs the guidance and approval of his mom, he shares his thoughts and dreams with me bouncing ideas off me as he works out his plans for his life. I know I can only listen carefully, and suggest things that maybe he has not thought about. He will make decisions for his life and I will accept them because I am glad he likes to share his life with me and it is after all, his life.
I long for the simpler days of his youth and the opportunity to teach life lessons that I did not get to teach him. I know that now he will learn them one way or the other.
For now I know that just as he was a different person after boot camp and after each training he experienced. He will again go through a life changing experience, from what I can gather he has a good relationship with the members of his company, and his unit or element as he calls it. They are all well trained and ready for this challenge. I have to trust in the good Lord above to protect him physically and mentally. I know that whenever anyone faces an extremely difficult task… the knowledge of love and acceptance from those they love is as vital to success as the person’s belief in their ability to meet the challenge.
I hope that by posting this on my blog I will hear from other military moms and/or dads. I feel a special kinship with anyone who has a loved one who is serving our country. I am so very honored to have the opportunity to be labeled a Marine Mom.
Meditations of a Marine Mom upon the 1st deployment of her son
March 15, 2009
This is the most emotionally numbing experience. You raise your child to be responsible, caring adult. You watch him grow into a delightful young man who you enjoy.
Then being the independent person that he is he decides to join the Marine Corp.
I have always felt like I was a patriotic person and appreciated those who served our country in the armed forces. Then my son decides on this as a career path. I did everything I could think of to dissuade him and convince him that it was the wrong decision. But he is determined……………I know he is looking for a feeling a belonging to something important…He is looking to prove something to his father, and to himself. When I see that there is no way to talk him out of his decision I have to support him. So, off to boot camp he goes. Time passes…..he does well in boot camp and graduates. He has faced loneliness, a test of his will, his physical prowess.
I attend graduation and am filled with pride in my son. He stands tall among many other young men who have accepted this challenge and met it successfully. I am impressed that there are so very many young men who are making this choice and to learn the history of the Marine Corp that I never knew. Many friends have asked me the “Why?” question of his decision. I must ask because I do not have a definitive answer. His answer……..”I wanted a physical and mental challenge that I was not absolutely sure I could meet.” All I could say was “Good answer.”
Then he has the opportunity to qualify for MARSOC Marine Special Operations Command. Special Forces………..sounds scary to me. I must ask the question “Why?” His answer……..I wanted to be the best of the best.
Then two years of training from dive school to become a combatant diver… to learning how to do surveillance, physically, and electronically, SEERschool ( I don’t know if the acynym is correct) but it is the school where they learn to deal with interrogations, escape and much more very scary stuff for a mom to think about. Now he is barely 21 years old and such a mature, self assured young man I could not be more proud of the accomplishments of his still very young life. He prepares for deployment to Afghanistan. The world is in turmoil and I know that here is where the rubber hits the road. I know that he is willingly putting himself in harms way for the sake of the country he loves and believes in. He and I must both trust in his training and God’s will to keep him safe. My heart aches for him as he ventures out to face this life changing experience. We have talked endlessly about his options and whether he wants to stay in the Marine Corp or get out. Start college via correspondence school or wait until he returns. What he can do with his training and education. He wants to make a positive difference in the world. I pray that he will have the opportunity to do so.
The worries and concerns of others seem small and petty. I am learning what he meant when he told me of feeling more patriotic than ever before during agraduation ceremony at the end of SEER school. Once you have decided what your values are in life and know that you are ready to put your life on the line for them then you truly know what it means to be patriotic. You know that your values are true values and not just preferences.
Visiting my son the weekend before this 1st deployment I find I can not clearly identify all of my emotions. I want to hold him and hug him, watch him and absorb every detail about him. I want to laugh with him, know his friends, cry with him but yet I do not want to appear weak so no crying this visit. I know he draws from the strength of my support.
He states I just want to go…………….I am tired of waiting. Two years of intense training in preparation for this day I try to understand. I sort of do understand.
On Tuesday, March17, 2009, my son will leave for Afghanistan, what the future holds we do not know. Will I be strong enough to handle whatever comes our way? I can only wonder at this point. My husband and I meet his friends. One very close friend introduces me to the others as “Mom” I am so honored. I look at their fresh young faces and although we have dubbed them as adults they look so young to me. Yet as they laugh, party and enjoy themselves I know that they have chosen to take the road less traveled. They have learned skills and volunteered to place themselves in harms way for the benefit of all those who live in this free country of ours.
I have had the honor of meeting a number of young Marines and some have had wonderful conversations about their thoughts and dreams and values. They value their freedom, family, trustworthiness, and honesty. Many of them do not see the military way of life as a career but an opportunity to do something worthwhile with their lives and grow, mature gain focus and direction for where they would like to go next. Each one of them is a wonderful individual to whom we owe a great debt that can never be repaid.
Many of these young people do not have total support from all their family members. Whereas, I understand this because the last thing I wanted for my son was to have him learn to be a soldier. I wanted him close to me where I could enjoy his company. But if families knew how important it is to these young men and women I think that families would behave differently. When my children were young I thought the stages of raising them to be responsible self sufficient adults was difficult and the hardest part. Then as each of my children reached the age of independence they taught me that there are many paths to the responsible adulthood I was guiding them toward. None of them chose to that the route I had planned for them after high school. And yet they are each responsible self sufficient adults. Joshua, the youngest made the choice that was hardest for me to accept. The military…………and not just a safe clerk type job but the Marine Corp and special forces in the Marine Corp. As much as I did not want him to take this path he has learned many skills that will serve him well in civilian life, he is an incredibly responsible self sufficient young man of whom I am very proud. He has accomplished things that most never will in their entire lives. And he lets me know that he still needs the guidance and approval of his mom, he shares his thoughts and dreams with me bouncing ideas off me as he works out his plans for his life. I know I can only listen carefully, and suggest things that maybe he has not thought about. He will make decisions for his life and I will accept them because I am glad he likes to share his life with me and it is after all, his life.
I long for the simpler days of his youth and the opportunity to teach life lessons that I did not get to teach him. I know that now he will learn them one way or the other.
For now I know that just as he was a different person after boot camp and after each training he experienced. He will again go through a life changing experience, from what I can gather he has a good relationship with the members of his company, and his unit or element as he calls it. They are all well trained and ready for this challenge. I have to trust in the good Lord above to protect him physically and mentally. I know that whenever anyone faces an extremely difficult task… the knowledge of love and acceptance from those they love is as vital to success as the person’s belief in their ability to meet the challenge.
I hope that by posting this on my blog I will hear from other military moms and/or dads. I feel a special kinship with anyone who has a loved one who is serving our country. I am so very honored to have the opportunity to be labeled a Marine Mom.
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