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Matthew 5

AUSTRALIA


Joined June 4th 2008

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Innocent Old Ladies: Fact or Myth?

July 1st 2008 09:19
Little old ladies are seen to be innocent, kind, gentle, everything that you would expect from someone frail and almost dead but are they really like this, or is there something hidden underneath their caring and gentle exterior?

I was sitting on the bus this morning when it occurred to me, old ladies are really sneaky. Luring young children into their homes to help them with various activities then paying them with cookies, ice cream or a insignificant amount of money (5 cents doesnt cut it grandma) and pretending they cant carry shopping are just some of the evil things they do and who in hell cant cross a street by themselves? They have some kind of ulterior motive and i dont like it.

Handbags, they are not weapons in usual circumstances but when wielded by an old lady, they can be lethal. If you ever see a little old lady with a handbag, RUN and run fast, i dont care of you are too lazy to move quickly or crippled somehow, you get the hell out of there as fast as superhumanly possible, old ladies take a lot of pills daily and must carry them around with them, they get heavy and that makes the impact of a little old lady handbag very lethal.

In summary, old ladies arent the kind, gentle creatures they appear to be. They are pure evil and should never be trusted by us younger folk.

THE TERM "little old lady handbag" IS CREDITED TO REBECCA
Thanks bec

Matthew "Old lady killer" Effting out!
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A stitch in time

June 28th 2008 08:38
Running, who does it? Certainly not me. If i tried to run, the world would explode and we'd all be dead, either that or i would trip over myself and face plant on a pointy rock or something.

If time were to run, we'd all get very old, very fast and before we knew it, we'd all be living in the shithole retirement town known as Urunga (like, 1000 people and 2/3 of them are retired).

I HAD SHIT LOADS OF CRAP TODAY. CHICKEN AND CHIPS (FRIES TO YOU NON AUSTRALIAN AMERICANS), PIZZA, SOME STUPID POWERADE JUNK AND!!!!!!!!!!! BEEF JERKY.

Saw an old teacher of mine, he rules, like me.
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Complaining

June 28th 2008 08:26
In general use, a complaint is an expression of displeasure, such as poor service at a store, or from a local government, etc. ...

People will express their dissatisfaction with something if they feel that it is necessary to do so and while this is accepted practice amongst many, some people take it way over the top and way out of hand.

One morning, it was not even 10am when someone here began to "spit the dummy" and over what? Some stupid crap that they use to remove makeup and how someone else had used it without permission. Why they were harping on to me about it, i cannot be sure but i made it very clear to them that i did not care even the slightest bit about how their tube of goo had mysteriously been emptied by another entity. This person then proceeded to hunt for something that the accused "goo stealer" owned, thinking that doing the exact thing they were expressing their dissatisfaction with was the right thing to do.

Half an hour passed and this person was still raving on about their "lost product" and i wasnt getting any closer to caring but they did not understand that, so i told them to bugger off and remove their makeup with something else, like an axe, at the neck.

Ladies, gentlemen, two wrongs do not make a right, three lefts do.
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Welcome to No Phun Intended

June 4th 2008 02:16
Hello and welcome to No Phun Intended, the blog where the one and only Matthew Effting talks a lot of shit and possibly gives some useful information too.
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