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Sorry; I'd mentioned in my last post that we would be taking a closer look at the link between communication and weight loss. However, several things came up, all positive I might add, that required immediate attention. At any rate, with these events out of the way now, we'll tackle an area so important to taking, as well as keeping, weight off.
I can't emphasize enough how important the ability to communicate effectively is. But it's important not only to weight loss and weight management. It can also definitely enhance every aspect of life and increase pleasure, happiness, and self-fullfillment. It doesn't matter if an individual is trying to obtain greater income, feel more relaxed, lower blood pressure, achieve better overall health, or reach other career or life goals.
Not only this, but improvements in getting what you want, dealing with difficult people and situations, and resolving conflicts more effectively will enhance your own self-confidence and open new doors of opportunity.
As a former weight loss counselor and current developer of a Wellness-oriented program for adults, I know first-hand how much improvements in communication can help enrich the quality of personal existence.
In the weeks ahead, we'll look at expanding weight loss efforts and successes by improving communication with, and understanding of, others as well as our selves. Until then, listen a little closer to the language of your own body as well as what and how you say things to others. These actions can ultimately help or hurt you.
Effective communication is vital to achieving long term or permanent weight loss, and acting assertively is the foundation. Put another way, if an individual continues to act in ways that diregard his or her best interests or fails to communicate effectively, the chances increase for maintaining unnecessary stress and self-defeating behaviors that promote weight gain.
Think about it. If you consider yourself a nice person who usually does what's right and is generally very sensitive to others feelings and needs, what do you do with feelings that go against this self-image? What do you do, for example, in response to people who take advantage of you, disrespect or bully you at the workplace, always seem to find fault with you, or who seem to make you do things for their benefit or convenience while not taking into consideration any of your wants and needs?
That "nice guy or gal" in you may find yourself giving in to demands that down deep you resent. You may say "yes" instead of "no" or overlook things, including your own feelings, that deep down really bother you. Reasons you may deny your anger or frustration or undervalue your feelings may include not wanting to hurt the feelings of others, not wanting to "rock the boat" or not wanting to upset the status quo, due to possible repercussions or retaliation. For you, keeping the peace or not having to deal with possible feelings of guilt, losses of friendships, loss of job or money, or other needs you depend on others for, may be more important than acknowledging, and dealing with, your true feelings and needs.
Recognizing those deep feelings within you could cause various degrees of emotional pain. Many people feel that great emotional pain often hurts far greater than any physical pain they have ever experienced because it cuts right down to an individual's inner core, or very soul. Not only can deep emotional pain leave us feeling drained or even feeling "ripped apart", but it can inflict enormous stress on the body, especially over time. People have been known to suffer health ills and even death from broken hearts, loss of hope, and loss of their passion for living.
People can deny their true feelings but these sensations still produce an energy, and that energy and the stress related to it has to go somewhere. If the anger isn't turned outward, it gets stuffed down within the body, but it needs release or it can build like a pressure cooker until it explodes in rage or ends up contributing to life-threatening concerns. Excessive drinking and overeating (the concern of "what's eating you?" certainly has merit) are just two of many ways people attempt to reduce the stress and intensity of emotional pain, overwhelmingly without even realizing it. Whether drugs, alcohol, food or other substances are used, a chemical reaction occurs that at least temporarily allows one to feel better and reduces or numbs the emotional pain and helps an individual avoid feeling the pain or dealing with the need to find a solution.
Other times, the anger may be turned outward. The person may allow himself or herself to feel anger or frustration and lash out angrily or argue with others or otherwise take aggressive action. In some cases, one may not be able to yell back at an an intimidating, unrealistically boss, but may choose to express that anger at a spouse later, blowing up unexpectedly at a small mistake without realizing the real cause of the pent up emotion.
Whether one chooses to deny and stuff down an emotion or act out on it, consciously or unconsciously, the end result is not beneficial. Improving communication, starting with positive attitudes and assertive action, can actually increase an individual's chances for taking weight off and keeping it off later. We'll take a closer look at this in the next few posts.
If you have been keeping a written record as discussed earlier, you have undoubtedly come across certain observations. For example, you may have noticed that certain situations caused anxiety or anger and resulted in undesired consequences. In any case, recognizing that you choose how you act, consciously or subconsciously, and that you have the power to control your own behavior and make change, is important.
Considering that you cannot change all or many behaviors at the same time, it becomes important to prioritize. What one behavior causes you the most stress, whether it be linked to an intensely negative emotion or serious and stressful consequences? Ultimately, you will have to decide what gives you the biggest headaches or what behavior or consequences, if reduced or eliminated, would help you feel better or more confident. Once you've identified your focus area, you can begin to conceptualize how you can make the desired changes.
Let's look at examples. Consider the case of individuals who are in the process of losing weight and prioritizing their desire to change their communication. They may want to deal more effectively with difficult people, be less "snappy" with people, and/or get into less arguments or other verbal disputes.
It is helpful to understand that while overeating and obesity are not actions and conditions consciously desired by most people, they do provide certain benefits that can stand in the way of successful weight loss. These include being able to stuff things down rather than deal with them as well as to numb the feeling of emotional pain. This, in turn, allows individuals to remain in negative situations and relationships they really do not deserve and should not tolerate.
It is also helpful to remember that weight loss has its own benefits as well, including increased sense of self-pride and renewed or enhanced self-worth. These, in turn, allow individuals to be better self-advocates for their own needs and rights. However, this new and growing sense of self-value has its own set of challenges.
Without the extra weight cushion or the effect of overeating their "comfort" foods, individuals face continuing to deal with difficult people but with a heightened sense of self-respect and self-value. As a result, they may be more irritable at times, but they may also start to speak up more, often rightfully so, expressing that enough is enough, or that they deserve better.
However, without having developed important interpersonal skills, they can resort to aggressive communication, blasting the other person or otherwise giving back the same inconsiderate, intimidating, or disrespectful treatment. While this may not affect a relationship with a stranger or people with whom one seldom interacts, it can result in numerous consequences, including increasing the possibilities of weight loss failure, deteriorating relationships, and being retaliated against.
An individual who prioritizes improving or changing his or her communication skills may choose the option of working on developing more effective verbal skills. This might be done by taking local courses in various subjects related to effective communication skills, including assertiveness training, conflict-resolution, negotiation, and/or diplomacy. More can also be learned through readings and by watching various videos available online as well as in libraries, bookstores, and through community organizations.
Review your progress periodically, even weekly to start, as you begin to develop your skills and establish new habits. Once you have achieved success and can maintain your healthier habit, choose one or two new priorities to begin working on and repeat the process. Additionally, if you find that one of your options isn't working, break it down into smaller steps or choose a different option that you feel may work better, and then try it.
Recognizing your immense inner power and making desired changes one step at a time helps form a strong foundation for successful, and most importantly, permanent, weight loss. So make your choice and remember that everything you need for your own success is within you.
Have you observed your behavior and made a list of what you did, at least for a week? Understandably, you probably did not write down every action you took over the course of each day, but what you did jot down can give you a starting point, i.e. an idea of what you do, how often, and how you react.
Let's take, for example, actions such as: making and eating breakfast, looking for car keys all over the house before work, doing a particular task at work, going to the movies, arguing with your spouse, watching your favorite show late at night and going to bed afterwards, etc. You may have also noted that some of the actions were done more frequently, one or more times daily. Some you enjoyed while others may have aroused anger, frustration, or other negative feelings. Additionally, you may have noted that what happened as a result of each action was either positive, negative, or of little to no major consequence
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With a New Year here, 2012 looks to be open for all kinds of exciting new happenings. You can, of course, make a difference to some degree, in what happens in the world around you. Never underestimate what one person can do, especially when highly motivated. Even if you want to do something bigger in the months ahead, like contacting a political candidate with a unique proposal that could help many people, starting a new non-profit around a much needed national or global need, or changing something for the better within your state or community, there's no limit to what you can do with positive attitudes and passion.
On the other hand, starting to make desired changes on yourself, one step at a time, is a great place to start. While it's actually sometimes easier to change the world than change ourselves, with the right attitudes and high levels of motivation, you can succeed in creating a brand new image, externally as well as internally, and a phenomenal quality of life you could only wish for right now
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Individuals have different reasons for wanting to begin a weight loss program or diet. But it usually isn't for money or profit.
Reasons for desiring to lose weight are extremely important because they serve as motivators, motivation being the single most important factor in achieving success. For some, the motivation to lose weight is related to wanting to look better, perhaps to appear more desirable to the opposite sex or to look fantastic at an important event.For others, the motivation may come from other reasons such as improving health or feeling more energetic
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Organization is a key element for success in weight loss as in reaching any other goal in life. Disorganization can significantly hinder one's efforts to lose weight, as the more stress an individual feels, the greater the potential for failure.
As mentioned previously, life will never be completely free of stress. But we can handle the events and situations that cause us unnecessary, or avoidable, stress with the use of preventative strategies
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One of the biggest challenges in weight loss is reducing stress. Realistically speaking, stress will never completely disappear from our lives. Whether it's a death in a family, loss of a job, dealing with a serious medical condition, or dealing with a simple everyday situation beyond our control, we will continually face some degree of stress.
Additionally, we need some stress that is actually good for us.. For example, while the body needs to relax, too much can be unhealthy. Also, boredom contributes to unhealthy conditions because the body needs some form of stimulation. Pushing ourselves to strive for unrealistic goals and getting overwhelmed with too many activities can be just as damaging as doing nothing at all, remaining in a stagnant job, or feeling "in a rut". Challenges from realistic goals, new and exciting activities, and personal growth and self-discovery help contribute to a balance within our bodies that is healthy,positive, and rewarding
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There is an exercise, or game, in which an individual attempts to identify different food tastes in what he or she eats. What the person tries to do is identify the various tastes and rate them.
An individual might construct a chart on a piece of paper or in a notebook that has columns for the different categories of taste sensations such as salty, sweet or sugary, sour, hot, bitter. There might also be "other" columns for additional or uniquely different sensations one discovers
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Rewarding one's self for pounds lost can be an effective tool for maintaining weight loss motivation. However, providing additional rewards for efforts involving challenges such as sticking to a weight loss plan and avoiding overeating and setbacks, can serve as powerful, long-term motivators as well.
Rewarding one's self for successful efforts, and not just for pounds lost, can help some reach their weight loss goals faster as well as help many keep lost pounds off permanently. It is, after all, not the pounds themselves that take weight off and keep it off. Rather, it is efforts to adopt constructive and healthier habits that ultimately lead to effective weight management and permanent weight loss
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