Man, she's way out of your league!
September 18th 2010 03:24
Here I pose a question - do people believe in leagues? I don't mean sporting teams but in terms of the social world? Especially in terms of attractiveness and potential partner hunting. I hate to admit this but I'm unfortunately do, well somewhat. I don't like to stereotype people and rate them and categorise them into specific groups and making sweeping judgments without really knowing someone but all that I have just written is utter bullshit. I wish I was actually as liberal I pretend to be. This wonderful realisation or more like admission is brought about by a conversation that I had with a friend of mine. We were casually discussing people that we have never met or on the newspaper. And I mean casually discussing I should really note it’s more like cruel and critical judgments on people we barely know and purely based on physical attractiveness. All is well when discussing strangers but things got a little pear shaped when the discussion drifted into leagues and about people actually know.
Before I continue I probably state explicitly I don’t think I'm beautiful by any means as you may have noticed in my first real post, I actually despise beautiful people, they actually disgust me (no I kid, only a mild aversion). So this discussion wasn’t a comparison of me and let’s says Jennifer Hawkins. But a general discussion of people we know and how pretty they are. But the thing about leagues it’s just based on physical attractiveness, it seems to go beyond that, it’s like although this sounds quite clichéd, it’s like having the "IT" factor or some sort of well sort after package. It’s like ‘hey look at this really nice car, not only it’s good to look at, is got extra features therefore you probably have to pay more for it.’ I mean essentially all cars are the same; the entire purpose of a car is transport and most cars are generally can do that. And yet that’s not enough if you can afford it then why buy a shitbox? One's ability to purchase or one's budget to purchase car is like people placing themselves and others into leagues. Like if you're hot stuff clearly getting together with a "shitbox" of a person probably not going to happen. BUT the problem doesn't lie on the extreme - the really attractive because they are in a little world on their own. But what about the rest of us, us mere mortals, do we have leagues? And apparently yes we do.
The problem with leagues that they are completely based on your perception of not only others but yourself. Not exactly what you call scientifically objective. For example there is this girl I think I would totally have the hots for if I was a dude or gay. This is the perfect girl - beautiful, intelligent, hard working, active, fun loving, non-committing, young with a very bright future. In retrospect S (which we will call her, Gossip Girl style) is actually really intimidating to approach, surprising enough the kind of guys that she dates aren’t exactly Mr. Amazing. They aren't bad actually and quite frankly I say good on them.
Another example is of another person I know this time it's a guy; he’s quite good looking, muscles and all. He is quite smart and obviously hard working (as he hasn't failed uni) although I must admit he's a bit of a douche (to say the least). But the thing is the girls he dates are no way up to his standard, they are usually not overly attractive and kind of fat.
Another example is my friend, the one I was having the conversation with. He believes that his incredible lucky that he is with his current girlfriend, because apparently she way out his league. I was like what? This is going sound awful, yes she is pretty and all. But lacks the "IT" factor, I mean the girl left high school in grade 10, has been working in MacDonalds for a long time, no real future a head of her. I fail to see how she could be better than him? He on the other hand is intelligent, hard working and academically successful in university. When I posed these arguments all he could say was that she really hot and she get’s hit on all the time in clubs. Ohkay that was a valid reason or justification as to why she was out of his league.
So this really goes back to how people perceive themselves, right? Do we have some internal rating system that places on us in this league and people whom we believe that are out of our league we, who we stay away from?
Furthermore when we see other people that are not the same level of attractiveness we dislike this too. But how does this system come about in the first place and since its all subjective how do we know that our own perception of leagues is true and reality? What if my perception is completely warped?
OH man that’s really exhausting thinking about reality, I feel like I just watched the Matrix or something, full of questioning and wonder about reality.
Oh well that’s all folks for this time. I hope everyone is well. And this was a lot more serious post than I anticipated.
Before I continue I probably state explicitly I don’t think I'm beautiful by any means as you may have noticed in my first real post, I actually despise beautiful people, they actually disgust me (no I kid, only a mild aversion). So this discussion wasn’t a comparison of me and let’s says Jennifer Hawkins. But a general discussion of people we know and how pretty they are. But the thing about leagues it’s just based on physical attractiveness, it seems to go beyond that, it’s like although this sounds quite clichéd, it’s like having the "IT" factor or some sort of well sort after package. It’s like ‘hey look at this really nice car, not only it’s good to look at, is got extra features therefore you probably have to pay more for it.’ I mean essentially all cars are the same; the entire purpose of a car is transport and most cars are generally can do that. And yet that’s not enough if you can afford it then why buy a shitbox? One's ability to purchase or one's budget to purchase car is like people placing themselves and others into leagues. Like if you're hot stuff clearly getting together with a "shitbox" of a person probably not going to happen. BUT the problem doesn't lie on the extreme - the really attractive because they are in a little world on their own. But what about the rest of us, us mere mortals, do we have leagues? And apparently yes we do.
The problem with leagues that they are completely based on your perception of not only others but yourself. Not exactly what you call scientifically objective. For example there is this girl I think I would totally have the hots for if I was a dude or gay. This is the perfect girl - beautiful, intelligent, hard working, active, fun loving, non-committing, young with a very bright future. In retrospect S (which we will call her, Gossip Girl style) is actually really intimidating to approach, surprising enough the kind of guys that she dates aren’t exactly Mr. Amazing. They aren't bad actually and quite frankly I say good on them.
Another example is of another person I know this time it's a guy; he’s quite good looking, muscles and all. He is quite smart and obviously hard working (as he hasn't failed uni) although I must admit he's a bit of a douche (to say the least). But the thing is the girls he dates are no way up to his standard, they are usually not overly attractive and kind of fat.
Another example is my friend, the one I was having the conversation with. He believes that his incredible lucky that he is with his current girlfriend, because apparently she way out his league. I was like what? This is going sound awful, yes she is pretty and all. But lacks the "IT" factor, I mean the girl left high school in grade 10, has been working in MacDonalds for a long time, no real future a head of her. I fail to see how she could be better than him? He on the other hand is intelligent, hard working and academically successful in university. When I posed these arguments all he could say was that she really hot and she get’s hit on all the time in clubs. Ohkay that was a valid reason or justification as to why she was out of his league.
So this really goes back to how people perceive themselves, right? Do we have some internal rating system that places on us in this league and people whom we believe that are out of our league we, who we stay away from?
Furthermore when we see other people that are not the same level of attractiveness we dislike this too. But how does this system come about in the first place and since its all subjective how do we know that our own perception of leagues is true and reality? What if my perception is completely warped?
OH man that’s really exhausting thinking about reality, I feel like I just watched the Matrix or something, full of questioning and wonder about reality.
Oh well that’s all folks for this time. I hope everyone is well. And this was a lot more serious post than I anticipated.
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Comment by Margaret B
Old Soul
Doctoring The Soul
Your friend with the girl who left high school in tenth grade may have had a good reason to do that. Maybe her family needed the income and she did what she felt was the right thing to do. If that were the case I'd hold her in higher regard than someone who quit because they couldn't hack it. Just maybe she has the same kind of intellect as him, and he can help her flourish. Or perhaps your friend knows she will be true and he can trust her which is something no six figure salary can buy. You either have that or you don't. This kind of relationship can be good for you and therefore she would be in his league then, even if an outside observer thought not.
As for leagues with money as the focal point I'd say for me "no", but only because I live in New York and I've met people with money that are just down right horrid. You have to have something going on as a person to roll my socks down. Money and looks are tangibles that can be lost, whereas the wealth of a person can always be called upon.
I put people in leagues with regards to the whole package. Intelligence is probably most important, then humanity, and so on. The total sum of the person's parts is what I find important.
Comment by Samira
Filmsi
The Ramblings
But again this a very shallow/superficial look at relationships and courtship