The Proper Care & Handling Of Horse Feces
November 27th 2006 15:12
Though the horses are domesticated, I feel a nature connection while attending to and properly caring for their feces. These creatures consume voraciously, taking in at least twenty pounds of grass and other fiber daily. FIBER!! Good for regularity and such bowel-related processes. The fecal output of these beasts is living testament fiber is an effective ‘mover’ of the excrement. For better or for worse, these horses are extremely regular.
Horses, unlike men, are apparently not able to organize an abstracting brain around the reality of being domesticated. They seem unfettered by the requirements of decorum and civility. Thusly, not only will they sponstaneously and non-chalantly express flatulence and pass urine, they will indeed raise tail and drop fece in even the most delicate and social of moments.
Domesticated my arse! The last time I crapped in public I was cited by the local authorities and quite handily fined.
The point, though, is not that our equine friends are legally empowered to defecate in public. I must accept that reality, as well as the injustice that disallows similar privelege to myself and other like-minded men. No, the point here is that said fecal license results in a significant build-up of the unsavory and fly-riddled excrement. In the stalls, in the ‘turnouts', in the arena, everywhere! And this excrement must be effectively managed. Properly handled and cared for.
Typically, Bill handles the horse feces. Bill, though, is 72 years old. Good, nature-based living has enabled Bill to remain quite strong and agile, and able to continue performing the difficult labors of tending to horses. This, even into his own seventh decade of domestication.
I am unsure if it is Bills’ or my misfortune that he injured his back while loading and unloading fifteen to twenty full garbage cans of the horsey doo doo. Whatever the case, he has tweaked his back such that his job description has changed. He is no longer charged with fece management.
I am.
And as I wheel can after can of full and foul-smelling horse feces to the ‘back 40’ to be dumped, I feel resentment setting in. I resent the fact that so many people marvel at these majestic equine creatures with their domestic proclivities. Yet, these horses do not even manage their own bowels except to ‘let it fly’ often and everywhere.
I HAVE TO MANAGE THEIR FECES!
I also resent the fact that I am expected, in deed required, to utilize my significant retention skills. This, rather than just unloading my bowels whenever and wherever I feel so inclined.
IT’S JUST NOT FAIR!
A man needs someone to properly handle and care for his feces. I understand that with civility and domesticity comes taking on such responsibilities as waste management. Yet, why can’t I be like the horses?
DO YOU MANAGE YOUR WASTE?
deorre
Horses, unlike men, are apparently not able to organize an abstracting brain around the reality of being domesticated. They seem unfettered by the requirements of decorum and civility. Thusly, not only will they sponstaneously and non-chalantly express flatulence and pass urine, they will indeed raise tail and drop fece in even the most delicate and social of moments.
Domesticated my arse! The last time I crapped in public I was cited by the local authorities and quite handily fined.
The point, though, is not that our equine friends are legally empowered to defecate in public. I must accept that reality, as well as the injustice that disallows similar privelege to myself and other like-minded men. No, the point here is that said fecal license results in a significant build-up of the unsavory and fly-riddled excrement. In the stalls, in the ‘turnouts', in the arena, everywhere! And this excrement must be effectively managed. Properly handled and cared for.
Typically, Bill handles the horse feces. Bill, though, is 72 years old. Good, nature-based living has enabled Bill to remain quite strong and agile, and able to continue performing the difficult labors of tending to horses. This, even into his own seventh decade of domestication.
I am unsure if it is Bills’ or my misfortune that he injured his back while loading and unloading fifteen to twenty full garbage cans of the horsey doo doo. Whatever the case, he has tweaked his back such that his job description has changed. He is no longer charged with fece management.
I am.
And as I wheel can after can of full and foul-smelling horse feces to the ‘back 40’ to be dumped, I feel resentment setting in. I resent the fact that so many people marvel at these majestic equine creatures with their domestic proclivities. Yet, these horses do not even manage their own bowels except to ‘let it fly’ often and everywhere.
I HAVE TO MANAGE THEIR FECES!
I also resent the fact that I am expected, in deed required, to utilize my significant retention skills. This, rather than just unloading my bowels whenever and wherever I feel so inclined.
IT’S JUST NOT FAIR!
A man needs someone to properly handle and care for his feces. I understand that with civility and domesticity comes taking on such responsibilities as waste management. Yet, why can’t I be like the horses?
DO YOU MANAGE YOUR WASTE?
deorre
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