The Kitchen, Oh The Kithcen
October 30th 2006 13:08
It is no secret. Everybody eats food. Well, there are the breath and urine people, but other than that, most people eat food. It's got something to do with the survival of the species. Like sex.
That's right guys. Think of food preparation as if it was sex, and you will go a long way toward improving your independent living skills. It will help, and your uncle Sigmund will twitter with glee in his grave at the thought of the pleasure principle coming full circle.
You can spend a good deal of time doing 'prep' work when working with food, or you can achieve your sustenance quickly. There are benefits to each. It is really a matter of personal preference. Guys, that means you pick the one that you like.
Do remember, though, that girls like to take their time with 'prep'. Alot of prep. Before complaining about all the prep, keep in mind that this type of food foreplay can lead to an explosion of eating pleasure. This is good, and may contribute to the perpetuation of the species.
If you decide to cook food, one thing to remember is that it will 'reduce'. I think this is a scientific thing, so bear with me. Apparently, if you buy a bunch of spinach, for instance, and then cook it, it will no longer look like the amount you bought. Wierd, eh? It gets smaller! Damn. Who thought of that?!? Confusing, I know, but that's what happens.
This reducing thing is a principle that happens to vegetables and roots, and stuff like that. I think raisins will reduce, too. Peanut butter does not reduce, and, like cottage cheese, will get real messy.
You would think that buffalo, cow, and pig should reduce. It does not. So, you don't have to buy too much of the meat. It goes alot further than the reducing foods.
Cooking is messy. Pans, spoons, knives, dishes, and your clothes. Also the counter, the floor, and sometimes, the ceiling. Cooking is messy. So as much as you guys hate it, you will have to clean up after the cooking experience has been consumated. Deal with it.
Sometimes girls get mad because they find a dirty plate that is stacked with all the clean plates. Do not argue! Just repeat over and over, "I did the dishes, I did the dishes, I did the dishes." And, next time you empty the dishwasher, make sure the damn thing has been run.
There is alot more to cooking than what has been covered here, guys. But it's a tough subject and we need to go slow. These are just some ideas to help you get started. And if it seems too confusing or scary, there is bologna or peanut butter. And a whole bunch of instant soup. Fast food joints are always there to perform their deeds in the name of the species.
And sometimes even girls like the fast food. Wham, bam, eat the ham(burger).
It's just that it is over so quickly.
deorre
That's right guys. Think of food preparation as if it was sex, and you will go a long way toward improving your independent living skills. It will help, and your uncle Sigmund will twitter with glee in his grave at the thought of the pleasure principle coming full circle.
You can spend a good deal of time doing 'prep' work when working with food, or you can achieve your sustenance quickly. There are benefits to each. It is really a matter of personal preference. Guys, that means you pick the one that you like.
Do remember, though, that girls like to take their time with 'prep'. Alot of prep. Before complaining about all the prep, keep in mind that this type of food foreplay can lead to an explosion of eating pleasure. This is good, and may contribute to the perpetuation of the species.
If you decide to cook food, one thing to remember is that it will 'reduce'. I think this is a scientific thing, so bear with me. Apparently, if you buy a bunch of spinach, for instance, and then cook it, it will no longer look like the amount you bought. Wierd, eh? It gets smaller! Damn. Who thought of that?!? Confusing, I know, but that's what happens.
This reducing thing is a principle that happens to vegetables and roots, and stuff like that. I think raisins will reduce, too. Peanut butter does not reduce, and, like cottage cheese, will get real messy.
You would think that buffalo, cow, and pig should reduce. It does not. So, you don't have to buy too much of the meat. It goes alot further than the reducing foods.
Sometimes girls get mad because they find a dirty plate that is stacked with all the clean plates. Do not argue! Just repeat over and over, "I did the dishes, I did the dishes, I did the dishes." And, next time you empty the dishwasher, make sure the damn thing has been run.
There is alot more to cooking than what has been covered here, guys. But it's a tough subject and we need to go slow. These are just some ideas to help you get started. And if it seems too confusing or scary, there is bologna or peanut butter. And a whole bunch of instant soup. Fast food joints are always there to perform their deeds in the name of the species.
And sometimes even girls like the fast food. Wham, bam, eat the ham(burger).
It's just that it is over so quickly.
deorre
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