love hurts...still
February 8th 2010 11:59
After Fathi left her in the park Sam was sobbing, cried heart-breakingly if somebody had heard her they would have cried too. But nobody was there, the park was empty as if they had known she needed time to calm down. Although she was the one who wanted the break up she had never felt that emptiness and solitude. It was aching, making marks on her heart too.
A little later she got up, took a tissue, dried her tears , she knew she needs to arrive home before her husband, because she didnt want any questions. " where were you, why are you late?"
Almost she reached home when she saw a couple , they were young and in love, smiling to each other. She couldnt bear that sight, tears were rolling down on her face, something broke inside, her heart got another crack. She could not feel anything anymore, only thinking of Fathi and what she made. She knew it was a mistake, but also knew she was not brave anough to leave her husband and she would never be.
" Just pretend everything is fine, you will forget this whole thing. " She kept saying.
By the time his husband came home she was fresh and looked happy, smiling as usual. They talked about the day they had, sipping coffee as a normal couple would do it. But when they went to go to sleep Samantha knew she would not able to sleep. Her mind was wandering. She saw Fathi's smile , she felt his touch in her skin, she smelled his scent. Every memory brought her aching pain in her heart but she couldnt cry. Her husband would wake up.
Sam could think only the emptiness what she felt. It was impossible to imagine her life without Fathi. But she needed to move on. The dice was rolled. She needed to face with her life alone.
Weeks passed by weeks. She was smiling, nobody could suspect anything how she felt. When his husband touched her , she pictured Fathi doing it. It helped. It made her misery easier, but it was not good for the oblivisence. A lot of times she tought she would go crazy or maybe even death would be a good solution. Music reminded her the time they spent together, and some love songs still made her cry but time is a very good healer. It heals all the wounds of the heart. Slowly she started enjoying the small little things again. Her husband's jokes, she laughed at them by heart, but they werent vey good sometimes. She enjoyed the sunshine in the park and all the small things which make life more enjoyable. She didnt know anything about Fathi and Sam realized that she didnt think of him for one whole day. It was good. The sky seemed to clear from the clouds. But as usual , it never means the end of the storm.
One day Samantha went to a high-end shopping tour with her friend to the city and they entered into a shoe -shop which had great discount on high-heels. Sam wanted to try a black one and when she was looking for a shop-assistant, she caught the sight of Fathi. He worked there and Jen, her friend called Fathi there to help them. She felt her heart stopped beating. She ran out from the shop , it was a desperate try to escape, escape from her destiny.
A little later she got up, took a tissue, dried her tears , she knew she needs to arrive home before her husband, because she didnt want any questions. " where were you, why are you late?"
Almost she reached home when she saw a couple , they were young and in love, smiling to each other. She couldnt bear that sight, tears were rolling down on her face, something broke inside, her heart got another crack. She could not feel anything anymore, only thinking of Fathi and what she made. She knew it was a mistake, but also knew she was not brave anough to leave her husband and she would never be.
" Just pretend everything is fine, you will forget this whole thing. " She kept saying.
By the time his husband came home she was fresh and looked happy, smiling as usual. They talked about the day they had, sipping coffee as a normal couple would do it. But when they went to go to sleep Samantha knew she would not able to sleep. Her mind was wandering. She saw Fathi's smile , she felt his touch in her skin, she smelled his scent. Every memory brought her aching pain in her heart but she couldnt cry. Her husband would wake up.
Sam could think only the emptiness what she felt. It was impossible to imagine her life without Fathi. But she needed to move on. The dice was rolled. She needed to face with her life alone.
Weeks passed by weeks. She was smiling, nobody could suspect anything how she felt. When his husband touched her , she pictured Fathi doing it. It helped. It made her misery easier, but it was not good for the oblivisence. A lot of times she tought she would go crazy or maybe even death would be a good solution. Music reminded her the time they spent together, and some love songs still made her cry but time is a very good healer. It heals all the wounds of the heart. Slowly she started enjoying the small little things again. Her husband's jokes, she laughed at them by heart, but they werent vey good sometimes. She enjoyed the sunshine in the park and all the small things which make life more enjoyable. She didnt know anything about Fathi and Sam realized that she didnt think of him for one whole day. It was good. The sky seemed to clear from the clouds. But as usual , it never means the end of the storm.
One day Samantha went to a high-end shopping tour with her friend to the city and they entered into a shoe -shop which had great discount on high-heels. Sam wanted to try a black one and when she was looking for a shop-assistant, she caught the sight of Fathi. He worked there and Jen, her friend called Fathi there to help them. She felt her heart stopped beating. She ran out from the shop , it was a desperate try to escape, escape from her destiny.
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