Going to the Chapel...
March 5th 2011 14:34
It’s been a REALLY long time since my last post. Let’s just say that life got in the way for a while and lots of things had to be sorted out before I felt inspired to write again. Now that I’m back, I hope to post a bit more often.
As some of you know, I met my sweetie online and we’ve been together since July 4, 2007. Here it is, almost four years later, and during that time we’ve bought a house and are now engaged! We got engaged on September 18, 2010 and the big day is October 15, 2011.
I am so happy and feel so fortunate to be marrying someone who is my best friend, lover, partner and confidante. He’s truly an amazing man and I know how lucky I am that he’s mine. I would be lying though if I said that the past 3 years were all smooth sailing. We’ve had some knockdown, drag-out fights complete with yelling, screaming, door-slamming and walking out. We’ve also had moments where we’ve been so frustrated with each other that we just wanted to squeeze each other’s necks until our heads popped off. Some days, we really questioned whether we were meant to be together.
Instead of throwing in the towel, we worked through our differences, agreed to disagree on some things, let down our guard, faced our fears and learned how to communicate effectively. That’s probably the biggest thing. It took a LOT of patience, sleepless nights and many tears, but it was worth it because we are a much stronger couple.
In some ways, our roles are reversed. He’s more sensitive and emotional than I am and tends to freak out about things. I tend to be calmer when things happen and immediately develop a plan of action. He’s usually more serious. I’m more of a goofball. He’s WAY more tactful than I am. I have a tendency to be very direct and I don’t sugar-coat anything. I also tend to be like a lot of the guys out there and say the wrong thing at the wrong time. For instance, he was really cranky about something one day and I jokingly asked him if he was PMS’ing. That did NOT go over well. Another time, I jokingly asked him who lit the fuse on his tampon. That also was not well-received. When he comes to me with an issue and wants to vent, I have a tendency to go into problem solving mode instead of just letting him blow off steam.
We both had to learn how the other communicates and to adapt accordingly. We also became better communicators. He’s learned to accept that my smartass comments are not meant as a personal attack, but are an attempt to make him laugh when he’s having a tough day. I’ve learned to read his cues and am pretty good at discerning when I can be a smartass and when it’s probably not a good idea. He’s less sensitive and I’m more tactful. As a result, we laugh a lot more and fight a lot less. Like any normal couple, we still bicker occasionally. However it’s usually resolved quickly and with minimal fuss.
Probably one of the best things about our relationship is that we have each maintained our own autonomy. We both have our own friends and occasionally do things that don’t involve the other person. For instance, in two weeks, he’s going to a hockey tournament with a few of his buddies. I’ll be getting out of work early and hanging out with my best friend doing girl stuff (ordering my wedding gown, looking at bridesmaid dresses and watching chick flicks).
When he goes out, I don’t worry whether he’ll do something he shouldn’t. I know that he loves me and would never do anything to hurt me. He also knows the same is true of me. Our time apart makes us appreciate the time we have together. Most importantly, we are both completely free to be ourselves. I always joke that he knows me better than anyone and yet he loves me anyway. I couldn't ask for anything more.
As some of you know, I met my sweetie online and we’ve been together since July 4, 2007. Here it is, almost four years later, and during that time we’ve bought a house and are now engaged! We got engaged on September 18, 2010 and the big day is October 15, 2011.
I am so happy and feel so fortunate to be marrying someone who is my best friend, lover, partner and confidante. He’s truly an amazing man and I know how lucky I am that he’s mine. I would be lying though if I said that the past 3 years were all smooth sailing. We’ve had some knockdown, drag-out fights complete with yelling, screaming, door-slamming and walking out. We’ve also had moments where we’ve been so frustrated with each other that we just wanted to squeeze each other’s necks until our heads popped off. Some days, we really questioned whether we were meant to be together.
Instead of throwing in the towel, we worked through our differences, agreed to disagree on some things, let down our guard, faced our fears and learned how to communicate effectively. That’s probably the biggest thing. It took a LOT of patience, sleepless nights and many tears, but it was worth it because we are a much stronger couple.
In some ways, our roles are reversed. He’s more sensitive and emotional than I am and tends to freak out about things. I tend to be calmer when things happen and immediately develop a plan of action. He’s usually more serious. I’m more of a goofball. He’s WAY more tactful than I am. I have a tendency to be very direct and I don’t sugar-coat anything. I also tend to be like a lot of the guys out there and say the wrong thing at the wrong time. For instance, he was really cranky about something one day and I jokingly asked him if he was PMS’ing. That did NOT go over well. Another time, I jokingly asked him who lit the fuse on his tampon. That also was not well-received. When he comes to me with an issue and wants to vent, I have a tendency to go into problem solving mode instead of just letting him blow off steam.
We both had to learn how the other communicates and to adapt accordingly. We also became better communicators. He’s learned to accept that my smartass comments are not meant as a personal attack, but are an attempt to make him laugh when he’s having a tough day. I’ve learned to read his cues and am pretty good at discerning when I can be a smartass and when it’s probably not a good idea. He’s less sensitive and I’m more tactful. As a result, we laugh a lot more and fight a lot less. Like any normal couple, we still bicker occasionally. However it’s usually resolved quickly and with minimal fuss.
Probably one of the best things about our relationship is that we have each maintained our own autonomy. We both have our own friends and occasionally do things that don’t involve the other person. For instance, in two weeks, he’s going to a hockey tournament with a few of his buddies. I’ll be getting out of work early and hanging out with my best friend doing girl stuff (ordering my wedding gown, looking at bridesmaid dresses and watching chick flicks).
When he goes out, I don’t worry whether he’ll do something he shouldn’t. I know that he loves me and would never do anything to hurt me. He also knows the same is true of me. Our time apart makes us appreciate the time we have together. Most importantly, we are both completely free to be ourselves. I always joke that he knows me better than anyone and yet he loves me anyway. I couldn't ask for anything more.
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