Loss Of A Parent
January 30th 2010 00:29
Hello World,
When I was 16 I lost my Father to cancer. It was the most horrid, emotionally draining, confusing, angry, depressing time of my life. Being 16 II had so many grown up things to look forward to doing with my Dad. Have a beer with my Dad, learn how to drive with Dad, go out to a bar together, do any of those things that you take for granted the moment you turn 18 (legal age here in Australia).
So what does the title of this post have to do with 'my life as a dad'?.
Well, I realised the other day that even though it has been 17yrs now since his passing, I think about him everyday. Those feelings got even stronger with the birth of each child too. I can't help but think about how nice it would have been for him to meet his Grandkids.
My parents were obviously from another generation all together so Dad worked alot (he also drank alot when I was younger, but thats a different story - he was never violent towards us, he just didn't get home till very late alot of the time) and Mum looked after all (I have three older sisters) of us as best she could. The interaction I had with my Dad was fairly minimal when I think back about it. Don't get me wrong, the times we shared I will treasure forever and I have very fond memories of Father/Son time. He passed on his passion for all things audio and my appreciation for music Is due to his influence. He had an amazing stereo, which thankfully I managed to hold onto parts of (the amp/preamp) and get them refurbished so I can enjoy them too
We grew up on Sydney's Northern beaches, which is really one of the nicest places I could have hoped to grow up in. By the time I was about 12yrs old Dad had gone out on a limb and purchased a fish and chip shop in Narrabeen (coming from an IT background thats a big leap). I have to say, some of my fondest memories come from that time. I spent my summers driving down to the beach with Dad, he would go and open the shop etc and I would surf. Pretty good life really for a teenager
So her i am, 33yrs old, 3 kids fo my own, one more on the way and what have i learnt?
I consciously make sure i'm spending as much time with my little monkeys as I possibly can. I still get things done for myself and my wife, but If I ever find myself saying to them that 'i'm to busy' or 'I can't right now' becasue i'm doing some dishes or something meaningless like that I make sure I stop, take the time to hang out and cherish those moments. The f@#king dishes can wait! The only time this doesnt really count is bed time - hehe - when it's time for bed, thats it, game over. I read books, sing a song etc, but after that, time for sleep. If you keep extending that 'together time' they'll stay up all night and milk it for every minute they can 
So what's the message here......? Well, in my opinion, time with your kids is one of the greatest ways to spend your time. I'm not all over them every minute of the day, they know how to play on their own (that is important for them as well). Treat everyday like it's your last and enjoy every moment you can. As i found out at the ripe old age of 16, they can be gone in an instant.........
Maybe one day i'll write about my experience from when I lost him........
Enjoy!
When I was 16 I lost my Father to cancer. It was the most horrid, emotionally draining, confusing, angry, depressing time of my life. Being 16 II had so many grown up things to look forward to doing with my Dad. Have a beer with my Dad, learn how to drive with Dad, go out to a bar together, do any of those things that you take for granted the moment you turn 18 (legal age here in Australia).
So what does the title of this post have to do with 'my life as a dad'?.
Well, I realised the other day that even though it has been 17yrs now since his passing, I think about him everyday. Those feelings got even stronger with the birth of each child too. I can't help but think about how nice it would have been for him to meet his Grandkids.
My parents were obviously from another generation all together so Dad worked alot (he also drank alot when I was younger, but thats a different story - he was never violent towards us, he just didn't get home till very late alot of the time) and Mum looked after all (I have three older sisters) of us as best she could. The interaction I had with my Dad was fairly minimal when I think back about it. Don't get me wrong, the times we shared I will treasure forever and I have very fond memories of Father/Son time. He passed on his passion for all things audio and my appreciation for music Is due to his influence. He had an amazing stereo, which thankfully I managed to hold onto parts of (the amp/preamp) and get them refurbished so I can enjoy them too
We grew up on Sydney's Northern beaches, which is really one of the nicest places I could have hoped to grow up in. By the time I was about 12yrs old Dad had gone out on a limb and purchased a fish and chip shop in Narrabeen (coming from an IT background thats a big leap). I have to say, some of my fondest memories come from that time. I spent my summers driving down to the beach with Dad, he would go and open the shop etc and I would surf. Pretty good life really for a teenager
So her i am, 33yrs old, 3 kids fo my own, one more on the way and what have i learnt?
I consciously make sure i'm spending as much time with my little monkeys as I possibly can. I still get things done for myself and my wife, but If I ever find myself saying to them that 'i'm to busy' or 'I can't right now' becasue i'm doing some dishes or something meaningless like that I make sure I stop, take the time to hang out and cherish those moments. The f@#king dishes can wait!
The only time this doesnt really count is bed time - hehe - when it's time for bed, thats it, game over. I read books, sing a song etc, but after that, time for sleep. If you keep extending that 'together time' they'll stay up all night and milk it for every minute they can So what's the message here......? Well, in my opinion, time with your kids is one of the greatest ways to spend your time. I'm not all over them every minute of the day, they know how to play on their own (that is important for them as well). Treat everyday like it's your last and enjoy every moment you can. As i found out at the ripe old age of 16, they can be gone in an instant.........
My parents on their wedding day
Maybe one day i'll write about my experience from when I lost him........
Enjoy!
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