"Lord, if there would be any way..."
July 22nd 2008 09:51
"where will words lead me?"
We were asked to read about a certain topic for one of our major subjects - Fundamentals of Journalism. I really wouldn't take my eyes off it and I don't even mind if I'm reading it while standing inside a moving train. *haha* Besides, it does entertain me because it says interesting things about entering a Journalist career. Funny though, that as I was being hooked up to reading that particular manual, fear and anxiety arouses my heart. Questions started popping in my mind like never before. Things I never thought of answering, and I never dare answer.
"A true journalist must learn how to supress her own opinions in order that she may communicate the whole truth about a certain matter," says the manual. I was like asking myself, " Can I be able to supress my own beliefs and keep silent with what I have faith in?" You see, I have taken this career not only because I have learned to write things with passion but also that I may use my God-given talents in Christian Communication. My code of ethics tells me that I must be neutral while my heart tells me that I must not be silent with what I know is right. In the arguments about religional beliefs for instance, what will happen with me if I encounter such a situation when I know inside of me that the only way and the truth is Jesus which He proved through God's words in the Bible. What will happen? What shall happen?
My prayer, is that carefully, I may be able to bring glory to His name in the simplest things I ought to do... that I may not be able to compromise my Christianity because my profession calls to be neutral... that in my writings, I may be able to bring Him praise by all means... and that living for Christ will be my primary goal even to the point of death.
I was asking the Lord, solemnly, that He may be able to let me stand up for His name without feeling the pain of persecution, without even feeling the hurt of being treated differently for being a Christian, without even thinking about the fear of what will happen next. I was asking, "Lord, if there would be any way to stand up for you and not be silent but still remain safe and blessed... then, let it be done."
But Jesus prayed to the Father, "Not my will, but Your will be done." I know that my career will scrape all my beliefs one by one, but I won't let it. I know that living for Christ includes being persecuted, being laughed at, hurt or even be the cause of my life. I know, and I don't care, because my will is not credited in His kingdom. A day of comfortable living and then a lifetime in hell is nothing compared to a day of being hurt and mocked and then a lifetime in heaven with all the riches and luxuries. I pray, "Let your will be done, O God." - the best prayer of all - because I can not possibly know what the future looks like or what I will be facing in the next few hours. I can die anytime. I can slip my feet upon a rock and possibly be dead on the spot. I just don't know. Jesus experienced the same thing when He was about to offer the greatest sacrifice of HIMSELF in the Cross of Calvary. He felt the same pain of fear and anxiety, suppressed His feelings of staying in the comfort box, dare asked the Father if there would be any way that these scary things can possibly just vanished, but in the end prayed the same prayer, "Not my will, but Yours be done." and then faced even death on a cross just to save mankind from sure death.
It is so hard to live day by day for Christ, making sure that everything you do doesn't let your representation of Christ go wrong. I may be scared of facing tomorrow, committing another mistake of staying neutral and sin of silence, but, if the only way to please God is to face and defeat the giants, I don't care whatever may happen, because HIS WILL shall happen. I just know. And I must not be afraid.
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