Locky Jonns

Kuching, MALAYSIA


Joined March 12th 2008

Number of Posts:
6

Number of Comments:
2

Karma:
7



Acquiring an australian accent will be your best ticket to a world full of great people and great times.

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Recent Posts

Malaysian Security

April 22nd 2008 14:59
Things you won’t see in Australia number 24

Guards holding hunting rifles in shopping centers.
These things look like grenade launchers, could probably take down a elephant from about 100km away. I wasn’t scared but , very aware of the guards presence. I would definitely pay the $11.80 Australian for the jeans rather than steal them. However, just when you start to respect the authorities one thing court my eye.

This Guy, dressed in full army gear, with the huge gun strapped to his back looks tough, but instead of massive black leather boots, this cadet/security guy was wearing a pair of thongs. We later sore his method of transport and no shit, was a 20 year old bicycle with the wide grip handle bars.

I have since learned that while good intentions are around in terms of providing the security guards the actual level of security leaves me a little annoyed at the money I spend. I have big gates at the front of my place and this guy spends the night patrolling the gate.
Never, ever, has the gate been closed and never in all the times me and my friends have stumbled home at all kinds of hours and never has he been awake when we got there and has never woken up or even flinched when we get there!

But what really got me laughing / concerned was going though the x ray machine & putting my carry on luggage though the scanners in Kuala Lumpar.

I went through and beeped in the metal detector.
The guard looked at me and started to walk over like any guard should.
I said “I have mental pins in my left shoulder”.
The guard stops and says ‘ok’.
Turns around and goes back to his post without checking anything else.

My roommate Tommy is kinda fascinated by the heat sensor thing the bags goes though and he likes looking at them (engineering students… pfft) so he sneaks around to have a look at the screen. The security checking the bags has a newspaper covering up the entire tv screen. But he is consistently nodding, giving the impression he is checking the bags!

This is pretty funny but like, makes me think how easy it would be to get basically anything on to a plane.
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Bangkok Locals, I'm Sorry

April 17th 2008 17:37
As well as being ranked among the top 5 tourist cities in the world, Bangkok is also the major economic and finance center of South East Asia.

This hasn’t happened just by luck. The Thai’s are smart. They boot all the backpackers off to the west of the city to Khou San Road and people who work in the tourism and hospitality industry will tell you it’s in the middle of town and the most happening place. But, it’s simply full of tourists, Thai party goers rarely exist and if I wanted to hang out with backpackers I would hit the bars in Flinders Lane, Melbourne.

Lucky for me, I always question everything I’m told and I can’t read (It’s an Wither’s Way High thing). Therefore, things like lonely planet guides don’t mean to much to me! I much prefer to ask an annoying amount of questions to people barely know.

The result…
A Place called “Ratchadaphisek” also known as ‘the place where the locals party’. The venues are classy, immaculately clean, absolutely huge and you don’t actually have to pay to dance with Thai’s and that includes both types of dancing. This place had 3 clubs down the main street all of which held more than 3000 people each. In other streets close by there was a total of about 20 venues. The best thing was my roommate Tommy and I were they only filthy white foreigners!

The locals aren’t offended that you’re their either. It seemed that they are actually impressed that you have gone to the effort to find this place and steer clear of all the hookers and sex shows. The roads in the area are closed to cars, alcohol on the streets is perfectly fine and there no such thing as a cover charge so people are club hopping all night. So, after a couple of local brews and an imported bourbon or two, 10,000 individuals turn into one massive dancing, laughing, jumping, screaming orgy of fun sure to please all 18-30 yr old party goers 7 nights per week!
If you’re traveling to Bangkok, be sure to head to Ratchadaphisek!
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Awkward Hospital Moment

March 13th 2008 13:55
I was required to do a 2 hour long medical to get like a clearance to be in this area of Borneo for an extended period of time.

I know at with my doctor back home a medical consists a conversation similar to...
Doctor “How you feeling”
Locky “yeah, not too bad”
Doctor “Ok, not a problem then, I'll see you next time”

However the lenience on Malaysian driving tests in made up for in there pretty tense medical. They took a blood test to check for drugs (they must have known I went to withers way high). Scans and x-rays to check my lung capacity, reflex test and vision tests. Nearing the end, one of the medical staff had this awkward smile as she placed these small cups on the desk. They pointed at my genitals, then the cup and said ‘sample’ and then guided us into a private room each. There was myself and two others guys doing this test. So after time we all came out of our little rooms. The cups placed back on the bench, 2 of them ¾ full of yellow and one of them 1/3 full of white.
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Chinese New Year

March 12th 2008 15:01
Don’t worry, you’re not in the rough Afghanistan neighborhood of Basra. They are all fireworks and everybody loves it. For 14 days straight the celebrations continue and then if that’s not enough the night after they have a ‘Chap Goh Meh ’, a random extra night, just to make sure you have had an adequate dose of fireworks.

People of Chinese decent with fireworks is very comparable to the middle class white Australian males with blowjobs. Doesn’t matter how good the last one was or how many you have had in recent times, they are always ready and willing for one more


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My New Home of Kuching

March 12th 2008 14:10
The trip from Melbourne to Kuching here was a pretty painful. I hate airports and planes at the best of times but Thursday morning after literally 12 minutes sleep I was feeling as fresh as a sex worker the morning after a V8 supercar event. I knew I had to change ‘terminals’ in Kuala Lumpur but that apparently means get a bus 45 minutes to the other side in of the city.

It appeared the driver forgot he was driving a bus and thought he was driving his fully sick commodore trying to pick up chicks. Every round about he got the bus sideways on the soggy Kuala Lumpur Roads and I was almost shitting myself. Lucky I wasn’t actually shitting myself because public toilets cost about $3 and that entitles you to a closed door, a empty bucket and a piece of hose that’s connected to a another bucket. If there are any engineering PhD’s who can tell me how that works


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About Locky Jonns

March 12th 2008 13:27
Hey there, my name is Locky Jonns and welcome to my blog, The Foreign Student.

I was born and raised in Eltham, which is about 30 minutes from the city of Melbourne in Australia. I am now on university exchange in South East Asia. The home of crazy parties, drunk tourists and amazing travel


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Recent Comments

Comment by Locky Jonns
on Rucksacks or wheelie suitcases?

March 17th 2008 16:03
AmyHuang,
lol, thats a very interesting point....

I'd like to think maybe double the contraception and just smile a whole lot but realistically, slipping some notes in the backpocket would solve that right?

plus, t's not like you take a backpack or suitcase to carry wards of casharound ?!?!

Comment by Locky Jonns
on Rucksacks or wheelie suitcases?

March 16th 2008 13:22
Visa Card, Contraception, Passport all go in the backpocket. Bottle of water in hand.