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Lifes little slices - by charliesgirl_992000

Our new baby died! a little morbid

November 17th 2008 16:56
Arabella Soraya Ziegler 8 hrs old
This was right before little Arabella passed away. It was a perfect pregnancy until the 8th month. Kaitlyn was seeing the dr every two weeks. In a matter of two weeks, from one visit to the next, everything went wrong. Kaitlyn developed preclamsia. The symptoms mirror pregnancy symptons so we couldn't know. That does not stop me from blaiming myself. Atleast I jsut have that one death on my shoulders, because Kaitlyn could have easily died too. They say she had the worst case they had ever seen. My friends and everyone tells me I can't blaim myself because she looked perfectly fine except for swelling which is normal. I even have a pic to share, of her a week before the baby had to be taken c section, to save Kaites life. She looker healthy and fine. We hyad an uiltrasound at 6 months and the babies brain was fine, then at this 8th month Ultra sound, the baby had brain swrinkage. They say the baby was himriging inside of Kaitlyn. She was born weighing 4lbs 3 ozes, they air lifted her to Pittsburgh after giving her blood. They thought she would be ok. We watched them fly away with her and then got something to eat, smiling and telling everyone about her being born. We went and bought pink balloons and a huge stork and were putting it on our fence when the call came and I remember this shreik comming out of me that was not normal. They said she was dying and to get there as fast as we could so we could say goodbye. We NEVER even got to hold her alive. I got live videos though and even caughter her cooing. Seems she had a virus. We should find out what it was tomarow. This all just happened October 10th. She was due November 3rd. I think we're still in shock.
Soon after birth
She looked sooo healthy here!! I still can't believe she is dead. I have her ashes though.
Kaitlyn & Arabella
This was the first time Kaitlyn got to hold her, and she had already been dead about 3 hours. They had to put Arabella in an incubater, give her blood and rush her 45 minutes away from the hospital by helicopter. Kaitlyns dr had her rushed by ambulance so Kaitlyn could hold her, but they had to take care of Kaitlyn first. If tehy new about her brain sringage and knew she was going to die, they would have sent her sooner.
Chris and Arabella
Chris stood with me and said goodbye while they breathed for her. It felt like a movie. I've always hear people say that but you can NEVER know until you are there. I felt like we were watching this happen to someone else. It still doesn't feel totally real.
Arabella mean beautiful alter
Right before she was airlifted and almost the last time we'd see her alive. Well it sorta was the last time, because the next time, they were breathing for her.
Kaitlyn @ almost 8 months preggy



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The baby at 10 weeks
The baby at 10 weeks
The baby today at 10 weeks preggy


the baby at 8 weeks
The baby at just two weeks ago. WOW can you believe how much he/she grew in that short of time.

I got to see the baby today!!! I am amazed in just how much he/she has grown in just two weeks!!! WOW. and "I got to see he/she move!!!" Huge Smile The baby moved their arm up to their face. Maybe to try and suck their fingers. kaitlyn creid happy tears because she had been scared she was gonna loose the baby with as sick as she is. Baby is all good though. I'll share a couple new pics and an old pic of the baby to show how much they have grown. I recorded the heart beat with my razor cellyand now I can listen to the babies wonderful music anytime I want. jumps up and down!!!
I am soooo thankful for this experience. I have been reading tons of baby, mommy books so I can be the best mom. It amazes me what all I am learning.
Tammy
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Our Sunrise
Our Sunrise
Our Sunrise
Our Sunrise
Our Sunrise
Our Sunrise
Our Sunrise

With Lil'Bit taking over 9 hours to deliver all five puppies, we where up still at six AM this morning. Yeah, we're night owls and it's normal for us to be up until about five or six AM and even occasionally until sunrise. People ask often why we are up sooo late. I don't know, I just LOVE the night time. I love the darkness of the sky. I LOVE being awake when the whole world sleeps. I LOVE the billion stars you see from our home in the country. I do eventualy, with warmer weather, switch to going to bed at midnight or so so I can enjoy time in the sun, in the pool, fishing and such. Fishing has been calling me and I hope in the next day or two i can head down to our fishing dock and through my pink pole into hat creek. Not the whole pole ofcourse. lol

This smornings sunrise was amazing. I went out on the deck many different times to snap some pics. I don't realy have them in any particular order and some are a little fuzzy but I still liked them.

When I was out on that deck I heard "Gobble, Gobble" down by the horses. The horses where naying some too. As iff they where all sharing the pasture and having a conversation. I couldn't get pics of the turkeys but the sound along with the silent morning, cool air and fog comming over the hill was sooo amazing. I am hppy to be home and LOVE this place we have chosen as a home.

Tammy
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"Butterfly tickles in the tummy!"

April 10th 2008 23:26
Pennsyilvania
I have major butterfly tickles in the tummy today. I've started to giggle, smile and laugh many times and all I was doing was sitting here doing proof reads. I have been feeling giddy all morning. There are several reasons for this I think. One and the biggest being "I am going home tomarow and I am soooo ready." I miss my hubby, my home, my pets, my DVR so I can record one thing while I watch another, I miss my "bed". No timeshare bed ever feels as comfortable as my own bed. It's all fluffy and soft.
Pennsylvania

I have other reasons I'm excited. We have puppies comming, it's spring at home, although we are expecting snow this Sunday and Monday but I don't even mind because for the first year, "I LOVED winter this year!" Not sure why, but I am happy because I usualy get a little winter blues and long for spring


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kaitlyn at 8 weeks preggy
Week 8
Date updated: February 20, 2008
Content provided by KidsHealth


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Williamsburg VA
This picture above is of just one of the many lakes that are all over the grounds here of the timeshare. It's is fully landscaped and covered in flower trees, flowers in bloom, little benches and places to take leisure walks. I LOVE this place. Soo serene and this is why I have come and stayed here twice in Nov, once in December, once jan, and then two weeks here now. It's our favorite timeshare thats 6 hours from home, so It's the closest. It's the Wyndham [use to be Fairfield] Kingsgate. We're here for one more week. The old people taht checked in with us have pretty much all checked out, and all new people checked in last night. it will be interesting to see who all is here now. You kind of get to now families while you are in the arcade, one of the many pools or hot tubs, at one of the game shows and such.

We have realy gotten to know some of the workers. They give us hugs now and talk to us alot. We know all about their families and such. It's pretty cool


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"The baby @ 7 weeks pregnant!!"

March 30th 2008 21:26
The baby at 7 weeks
Week 7
Date updated: February 20, 2008
Content provided by KidsHealth


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Please vote for my picture!!!!

March 27th 2008 06:36
Act Quickly!

Tammy, your photo Anyone For Tea! is currently ranked as a finalist and you only need 20 votes to be eligible to win! We are proud to show your work on our website and you should be proud to share your talent with everyone you know. Have your loved ones show their support by voting for your photo and helping you achieve your goal of being recognized in the photography industry. Get all your friends and family to vote for Anyone For Tea! and you could win the next $50 Visa Gift Card from Picture.com. We’ve already awarded over $20,000 in prizes and hope that your photo will earn you the next prize. Time is running out before the next winner is announced! Make sure you forward this link to all your friends, family, neighbors, and coworkers to get the 20 votes it takes to win! Some photos entered in this contest have even been selected for further publication in hardbound anthologies or the photography magazine, In Focus. Just imagine . . . not only could your photo win a prize in this contest, but you may get the chance to see your work in print


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How come......

March 27th 2008 05:29
whats suppose to make you better when you are ILL just makes you sicker??? With the flu, I had to be all drugged up an dayquil all day and niquil at night just to survie, and now that I am better with the flu, I have HORRIBLE withdraws and super ickiness all because of the meds you can't get through the flu without!!! "you just can't win." i leave for two weeks in Williamsburg this saterday and i sooo have to bet all better by then. it will be in the 80's and my plan is to lay arround the pool, get me a golden tan and enjoy some laid back, no work, leisure time. Nothing strenuouse, except maybe a little tennis, but that is soooo fun and still relaxing.
Williamsburg
Williamsburg
Williamsburg
Williamsburg

Tammy
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My health update!!!

March 27th 2008 03:55
Virginia Beach feb 2008
Virginia Beach feb 2008
Virginia Beach feb 2008
Virginia Beach feb 2008

I went t the second specialist today and he looked over all of my stuff. He beleives like we do that that four day bought with pain that made me unable to moved and left me screaming everytime I went to the bathroom, was me passing Kidney stones. I swear it felt like labor!! But the overies are causing pain on their own also, but just a lighter, icky feeling, always nautious pain and the pain flairs in my kidneys. He siad thats all tied together and I have two choices. 1. we could send me staright into menapaouse, which I was ll ready for since i'm 39 and almost there anywho or soo I thought. Jut get em out and get it all over with so i don't have to worry but he said with me not being a smoker, I have about 8-10 more years before menapause. So thats a HUGE mind change for me since both overies and falopian tube and such would HAVE to coem out. We may still have to do this in a few months anyhow, IF option two doesn't work. option two, "Put me on birth control which will shut down my overies and get them tos top making the fluid, the whole things cist and all to shrink some which will HOPEFULLY ease up on my boughts of pain and Ickyness." Sounds like atleast something we should try, especialy since just the thought of me being opened up makes Charlie cry, because the second they open you, stuff can spread. "He is sooo sweet on me and I adore that!!" makes me feel very loved. he ask alot of questions and shakes and cries some about it all. i never dreamed I'd meet a man like him or have someone soo caring in my life like him. He just got off midnights and then drove me alll the way to Pitt so he could make sure I am ok and that we make the right decision. So i start birth control tomarow and go back in three months tosee if the pain is gone and what has happened and go from there.
I like this choice but i will keep a close eye and see what happens


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