Liam Creaney

Melbourne, Victoria, AUSTRALIA


Joined May 12th 2008

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Where To Now For North?

September 8th 2008 08:01
The Village Bell. or Dalton Bar (it answeres to both names), down St Kilda way was the venue of choice for a footballing few who thought North might just be able to knock Sydney over on Saturday night.

As it turned out, the only things knocked over by game’s end were quite a few pots and very nearly a couple of Sydney supporters who must have left their brains in the harbour city, so antagonistic, arrogant and at times, racist were they.

Nothin’ like safety in numbers eh, boys?

As one Northener pointed out, they were a cockey bunch for a mob that’s won a solitary flag in 75 years. And even that premiership, added another Shinboner, won’t compensate for a relocation.

A good line that drew a chortle, but the blue and white brigade wore long faces.

The game itself was the old finals Dickensian classic of a game of two halves and indeed, two cities.

North had every right to think itself well and truly in the game at half time, going in ten points to the good.

A fumbly start to the third quarter gave little indication to the free Swan scoring that was to come.

In fact, had Ed Lower taken a mark he should have twenty metres out, instead of fumbling like a schoolboy who has finally come to grips with his girlfriends’ brassiere only to hear her parents arrive home unexpectedly and Brent Harvey not blazed away with a torpedo punt that was about as controlled as Boris Yeltsin’s drinking habits, North may well have skipped away to a decent lead.

The momentum shifted when Adam Simpson grabbed the ball on North’s half forward line and wound his left leg up as though hoping to send the ball out of Australian controlled airspace, only for it to ricochet from a team mate’s back to a Sydney player who shuffled it forward to some other Sydney type as all the other Sydney types at the bar started their guttural neanderthalisms - “… just whack ‘im, Bazza … whack someone, Bazza …” - finally landing in some other Sydney type’s arms for a Sydney type goal.

Seven others followed in quick enough time for North supporters at the bar to think that the beginning of the end was upon them.

So what’s the wash up for team that only three weeks ago was touted as the team most likely to square up to Geelong come the second half of September?

It must be frustrating to all at the club that since winning the Premiership in 1999, North have won only two finals since, and a few decent old hammerings have been copped in those losses - Essendon in 2000, Port in 2005 and 2007 and Geelong last year.

So as one axeman said to another, who’s for the chop?

Shannon Grant has offered his own head. Jess Sinclair’s tears at games end could be something of a prophecy. Aaron Edwards is unspectacular far more often than he is the reverse, Nathan Thompson’s battle scarred knees seem to have caught up with him, Corey Jones couldn’t get a game at the weekend while a few others in the centre of the ground have to stop getting totally smashed in big games. Harris tried hard but without effect, while Daniel Wells was silky smooth in the first half and invisible in the next as the game slipped away.

Dean Laidley was candid as always after the game when he said he thought the team of ‘08 was nearer a flag than the Preliminary Finalists of last year and in a sense he was right. North pushed Geelong two months ago in a game of the utmost quality. They beat Hawthorn and should have done so twice. They knocked Collingwood and Footscray over twice for the year and drew with the blood - sucking Swans in their only home and away meeting.

The home and away year was bookended by two strangely similar and disastrous games.

Against Essendon in Round 1, North shot out to a four goal lead before realising they still had three and a half quarters to play. They thought it inappropriate to do so and handed a pretty ordinary Essendon side their biggest win of the year.

Much the same happened in Round 22 - four quick ones against Port Adelaide, the double chance looking rosier by the minute, then instant hibernation as the Power played keepings off and dished out a belting so despicable, Dean Laidley apologised to Shannon Grant and his family as to the circumstances of his 300th game

Adam Simpson should play on but stand down as Captain and oversee the transition of a Drew Petrie led Kangaroos. Young players like Lower, Urquhart, Thomas, and Campbell are genuinely exciting. Leigh Harding has been a revelation across half back. Hamish McIntosh will benefit from a tough pre-season and the back line is tough and united.

North have the nucleus of a good team and don’t look like bottoming out. Geelong have shown that great teams can be built without a couple of seasons south of the Mason - Dixie line and the ‘Roos should take heart from that.

Ultimately, what is really needed is a team that performs in Finals, but then again, there are fifteen other clubs craving the same thing…
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SWANS SECRET PEAF DEAL

August 24th 2008 12:31
It was with some discomfort that I watched Paul Roos’ after match press conference on Saturday night.
The club that came closest to bleeding the AFL dry in the ‘80’s and ‘90’s has obviously extended its hand again in the asking and it would appear that the Jolimont cash - keepers have come to the party.
Paul Roos has a hand double.
As the press conference at the Telstra Dome rolled on longer than the excruciating wait one endures on the phone to said stadium naming rights sponsor whilst getting an extension to their phone bill - the Swans coach’s languid hand movements had all the authenticity of the chef from “The Muppets” and, bort be -dort be - dort bort bort … the money that the AFL pay this ‘hand in’ could have saved Fitzroy.
If only Leon Wiegard and co. had plunged into the rarely used AFL Physical Extremity Assistance Fund or PEAF as it has come to known, the very course of football history could have been altered.
As it is however, much like North Melbourne and the short lived Ten Year rule in the early Seventies, Sydney appear to be the only club taking advantage of PEAF, giving their coach the luxury of not having to move his hands one iota during an arduous grilling from the press.
And what a win - win situation this could prove to be for the Swans, because so ridiculous were the PEAF hand doubles movements throughout the course of the Press Conference that no one in the room heard a word Roos was saying, so transfixed were they by the invisible fly swatting, chin tapping and airport lounge departure type configurations being played out by the foreign digits in front of his face.
With the PEAF assistance fund seemingly secured until the end of the season, Sydney could get belted by Brisbane, lose their Elimintion Final by god knows how much and Roos would wander away from his final press conference completely unscathed, because someone else’s hands would do all the talking.
Rumours that the PEAF hand double is none other than the guy who sits at his desk controlling the ‘Falcon’ on that ANZ Bank TV Commercial have been denied by the club, despite his hand movements being eerily similar to that of Roos on Saturday night.
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NORTH OUT STUMBLE MELBOURNE

July 28th 2008 12:31
NORTH OUT STUMBLE MELBOURNE.

North Melbourne out fumbled, out crumbled and finally out stumbled Melbourne at the ‘G yesterday ‘arv in a match that won’t exactly have fans queuing ‘round this or any other block to buy the bloody thing on ‘Name A Game DVD’.

Then again, perhaps the game should be packaged and re-labelled as a master class in how not to send the ball into the forward fifty, such was the hilarity which greeted Melbourne’s hap - hazard forward thrusts. The sound of Demon forwards slapping into each other as they tried to spin unsuccessfully out of their full-forward line cluster and into anything approaching open space was only marginally louder than that of North supporters banging their knees with cold, beer filled hands in uproarious laughter as though the scoreboard was playing episodes of “Get Smart” back to flamin’ back.

Unfortunately, for the vast majority of the twenty - two odd thousand poor sods who managed to eek out an existence as fans at the game, the big screens were stubborn in their refusal to show nothing but scenes from the match in progress over and over and over and over and over again.

Struth.

Happily, Lindsay Thomas was as quick as the weather was cold and could go home satisfied if not frost - bitten with his five majors for the day. Corey Jones chimed in like a cheap door bell with four and showed glimpses of his awkward, opportunistic best. Brent Harvey, with one eye on the Brownlow and the other on a hot shower after the game was quick and damaging while Adam Simpson turned back the clock far enough to hall in a screamer on the forward flank, though not back quite far enough to kick the goal.

For Melbourne …

Perhaps their most spirited for the day was the septuagenarian piranha who wouldn’t have been out of place on the Purana Taskforce and her vociferous, dogged, and sectarian (in football terms anyway) objection to a mild mannered North supporter, at the game with his partner, five month old son (rugged up and transported in a portable igloo, readers) and his partner’s parents.

He made the unholy mistake of sitting behind the non playing Melbourne players, whose groans at not gettin’ a game with such rabble would have impressed Jacob Marley. No sooner had he sat down at his Melbourne supporting father in laws invitation than this bigoted bottle of pureed red and blue rinsed vinegar pounced, spitting out that this was a Melbourne area and demanding to know what right he had being there.

The speed with which she raced at quarter time to the nearest MCG employee - unfortunately for her a hapless teenage pie seller whose knowledge of football dipped sharply beyond the circumference of his lukewarm Four ’n’ Twenty’s would have put Aaron Davey to shame.

Perhaps it was North’s first quarter of genuinely good football that had upset her so. Perhaps it was the fact that she was a young woman the last time Melbourne were a genuine Premiership threat and that eternity in all its utter endlessness, Is about as far away as the ‘Dee’s of ‘08 seem to be from another.

North on the other hand move up to fifth and if form returns and holds, the Dickensian prospect of Geelong waiting in the first week of the finals.

Bring out the “Get Smart”, please …



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Ringo's Rennaisance

June 1st 2008 05:26
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NORTH BE BOLD - EMBRACE THE GREEN AND GOLD.

Pale blue and white stripes


[ Click here to read more ]
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