Killing Creativity. (Cutting Life Short. Like A Bad Haircut).
October 8th 2008 21:49
Walking along a main street of a country town is like talking a stroll though an abandoned movie lot littered with billboards all saying the same thing: Don’t Be Creative.
Once I’d left the cemetery, the shortest route to school in the morning was along the main street.
Trish’s Hairdressing Salon was the first billboard I’d come to. Sometimes, I’d even see Trish herself, opening the shop. Trish was a walking billboard saying: Forget Fashion: Dress For Comfort.
If I hadn’t become a serial killer, I would have made an excellent hairdresser.
But I wouldn’t have worn a K-Mart sweat-top, Target tracky-dacks and Ugg boots to work. Regardless of how bogan my clientele was. And, I certainly wouldn’t have permed my own hair with a frizzy bit at the front, and told people frizzy fringes were all the rage, and if you don’t believe me, watch movies like Flashdance. Then done a tacky, cringe-worthy, ‘Oh what a feeling’ jump for emphasis. And landed fringe-first on the floor among the unswept hair clippings?
I would have lived on the fringe, and called my shop, Living on the Fringe. I would have been a walking billboard saying: Be Yourself. If old ladies had asked for blue rinses, I would have spiked their hair, dyed it bright, nuclear orange and added shock-pink and lime-green tips. Out of respect for the elderly. And their love of pretty flower gardens and colourful birds like ring-neck parrots. I would have done the odd blue rinse. Not a standard one. A bright, neon-blue Mohawk cut. Slapped them on the arse on the way out of the salon, shot my fingers off, and gone, “Go kill some cowboys! Go get ’em, gran!”
Okay, so none of them would have ever come back again. But that would have been why I did it. If they’d sued me? I would have counter-sued for emotional distress at having to listen to them yap non-stop about nothing interesting while I was butchering their hair. And claimed compensation for post-yap traumatic distress. I would have blamed it on the yap. Shooting their mouths off. Dragged the court case on for years until they were dead.
Being a hairdresser probably wouldn’t have prevented me becoming a serial killer. The yap would have driven me to it. What is it with people? They either say nothing at all, or never shut up.
After a few more billboards, [Shazza’s Haberdashery, Dazza’s Hardware & Plumbing Supplies, Bazza’s Deli, Bruce’s Garage, etc, I’d arrive at dad’s shop, Leon’s Electrical.
I used to stare at the shop frontage. It’s squareness and blandness was beyond metaphorical. It was as though dad was living vicariously through his shop frontage.
If I hadn’t become a serial killer, I would have made an excellent signwriter. But I wouldn’t have called my business, Kevin’s Signwriting. Or used home-made stencils for signs on shop frontages or my work van. I would hardly have come across as a professional.
I would have called it something like Perverse Generation. [A sign(writer) of the times]. I wouldn’t have bought a van. I would have bought a hearse. And kept all my tools of trade in a coffin in the back. One refashioned into a giant tool box. With hinges, clips and padlocks. I might have dispensed with white overalls and dressed like a funeral director. In a suit and tie. I don’t think I would have gone so far as to wear a Grim Reaper’s mask for work. I wouldn’t want to lose business. But I do like the idea, because you have to wear some sort of mask when you’re spray painting. There’s a lot of harmful toxins and chemicals in paint. The same ones they use in cigarettes. They can kill you. They should put health authority warnings on paint tins. Painting causes throat and lung cancer. Don’t let children breathe your paint fumes. Painting clogs your arteries. Painting will harm your unborn baby. Abort now?
A beautiful corpse isn’t much of a consolation to a creative person who dies young. It usually means your life was cut short. Like a bad haircut.
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Comment by Damo
Hehehe...
I suffer from that quite often.
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
I could say something but your wife might read it.
At least you can laugh about it. Let me guess. You laugh about it afterwards, not during?
I've got one of my friends to paranoia stage now. I'll just say things to her like, "I love having a two way conversation with you. I don't have to say anything, just listen." She'll cut herself off and go, "Am I talking too much again?" I'll just go, "No more than usual." [She doesn't take offence. It's all in good humour]. I'll even say, "I don't so much mind how much you do talk. I just wish you'd say something remotely interesting now and again." Or, "It's okay. I haven't been listening to half of what you're saying. I switched off ages ago." She just laughs. I do actually get a word in. The word, Yes?
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Corker.
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Bottler.
Comment by Louie
Climate Red
randomthoughts
Phil's Wellness Tips
I was thinking of your screenplay the other day, reading a Virgin inflight magazine. There is a thing called Crowd Funding, there is a site where you can put up your screenplay and production budgets and lots of people give you small amounts (like how Obama funded his election campaign)Your work sits there for a certain amount of time and if you get enough people to put in you get the funding.... apparently it is the new big thing.
I don't have time to find the site for you today but will look into it more.
cheers
Louie
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
It would be my favourite part of the post.
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
I like the fact that you like some of this. That suggests I'm back on the right track. I would consider people like you representative of my target audience. Yep, I'm appealing to weirdos. People a bit out there.
I haven't been writing much lately, and it's a bit of a struggle getting rid of the cobwebs and rust. And getting back into Kevin's head, and writing itself.
Your comments encourage me to persevere with it.
Because it's such good fun getting into Kevin's head. Method writing is great.
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
That sounds more than interesting. So thanks for that. I'll have a bit of a Google and see if I can find this Crowd Funding mob.
Glad you both liked that one. I'm sure Kev will come up with some other thoughts.
Comment by Louie
Climate Red
randomthoughts
Phil's Wellness Tips
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
This is the best link I've found so far:
Really Long Link
Comment by Louie
Climate Red
randomthoughts
Phil's Wellness Tips
CLICK HERE Indiemaverick.net, I havent checked it out for loopholes like stealing copyright but its the one they spoke of.
If you upload your screenplay or synopsis there, then get Orblers to viral market you could get some use out of the old Orble yet
Comment by Damo
I have no complaints about my wife.
Compared to what you sometimes find on Orble I am very thankful.
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
I've had a quick look at the site. I'll have a decent look asap. [Right now, I'm beached as bro.
The way film corps and govt bodies go about funding film and lit doesn't inspire me to go through them, or with much confidence, so anything is worth a shot.
It would be a more than interesting experiment.
Thanks again for the link.
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
I'm staying well clear of your second paragraph. I'll only comment on this one:
I'm sure your wife would look upon that as as nice a thing as you could say.
Comment by Damo
I have been watching an anime television series called 'Death Note'. If you write a persons name in the 'Death Note' the person will die.
I am yet to see anyone create a 'Death Blog', despite what they may think.
Until then everything is just words and Post Yap Trauma.
Just my random musings.
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
When are the Nazi's returning? I miss them.
Comment by Damo
Hahahaha!!!
Sometimes I miss them.
They were fun to stir up.
However now we have the enterists who stir themselves up out of sheer paranoia
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
Who are the enterists?
Comment by Louie
Climate Red
randomthoughts
Phil's Wellness Tips
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
I registered with Indie. It will be an interesting experiment.
I'll post what I intend to post on Indie here first. It will give me a bit of time to digest it, get some feedback etc.
I seriously detest writing synopses of my own films, or doing anything involved with marketing, pitching and self-promotion. But again, this will be an interesting experiment, so I'll run with it. And see what happens.
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
I was loving the sign writer driving a hearse, a coffin for a toolbox, (and if youve seen tradie toolboxes, a coffins not far off) and a guy writing signs in a suit....Awesome!
And I actually found small country towns were very good for my creativity, it was so dull boring and plain there I was always thinking....What else is there?
Comment by Louie
Climate Red
randomthoughts
Phil's Wellness Tips
I don't really understand how the business works, i thought the producers were the money people to start with.
How the hell will you come up with a number of how much you need to raise etc?
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
Ooh too funny .. I have to echo the others with post-yap trauma; and ..
so reminiscient of my own fathers shop front ..
..but would also add a couple of my own;
*lol*.. so stylish!
one more;
profound.
Lilla ..
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
I have to get out of Adelaide.
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
You're spot on when you say:
I guess as a screenwriter, I've always been reluctant to get into the business side of things, but in the long run? If you have to do that to get the film produced? Then so be it. It's not like I'm not capable of doing it. It's just something I'd prefer not to get involved in. But perhaps it might be a good thing. I need something to sink my teeth into, other than my own fingers.
Well, you can do a comprehensive budget. And narrow it down to the nearest cent or dollar. But in general terms? You'd need around $2M AUD to produce the film professionally. A third of that if you're into high risk and want to do it with your mates. If you're into really high risk ventures, you could do it for a tenth of that.
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
The interesting thing about this film is that it's so dark and black (and relentless), I had to inject it with humour. Okay, so the humour is black. Make that sick. But I like an emotional rollercoaster of a ride when I'm watching a film. And okay, I couldn't write a film without humour in it anyway. It's not my style.
The film that comes to mind is Scorcese's Cape Fear. And Taxi Driver. They're both films about really dark subjects. The main characters are relentless. But both films are full of humour. If you have a sick sense of humour that is. We all have our influences, I guess.
There's so many scenes I could grab from both films to illustrate why relentless films need breaks of humour, and why Scorcese is such a great film-maker.
The one that comes to mind is from Taxi Driver. Travis Bickle is thinking of killing the presidential candidate at the Senator's open air address, and runs across the security guard, who is very suspicious of Travis. Travis' mohawk is not helping his cause. Nor is being dressed in army camoflague greens. Travis says, "You're a security guard, aren't you?" The security guard says, "Just waiting for the Senator to arrive." Travis goes. "Oh great. I'm waiting for the sun to shine."
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
It all reminds me of my interview with Mr Serious, whom (it was revealed from within a chook pen at fashionable Canberra Boys school), had many years before Young Einstein, lived in squalor with a few others; boiling boots for lunch each day, until they managed to put together 16 minutes of synopsis footage of Young Einstein ..
With last bucks (not in his hired Pink Tuxedo pocket); and with an orange spotty tie, Mr Serious proceeded to walk into the bank managers office and ask for $2 million, slamming the sample synopsis on the table as he did!
The rest is his~story (albeit short?).
I think you hearse and stylish funeral directors suit could also work well here in this scenario, but wish you luck with the Inde connections too .. who is the patron saint of moviemakers and playrights?
Lilla ...
Comment by Damo
I think I will remain silent on the question of enterism for now.
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
Taxi Driver is always in my top three favourite films of all time. But film favourites are a personal taste thing. Have a watch and let me know what you think.
I have mixed feelings about Mr Serious and his films. It's an interesting story you tell about him, though. Good on him for doing that. I can relate to his days of living in squalor, but that's probably where the similarities end. I'll just put Nothing Land on IndieMaverick and see what happens.
St Francis de Sales is the patron saint of Catholic writers. There isn't actually a patron saint of playwrights per se. None of the famous Catholic playwrights were ever canonised.
St Claire of Assisi is the patron saint of television. Why? When she lived in absolute poverty?
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
It's not some sick sexual cult is it?
Comment by Damo
As long as they are not in primary school play grounds looking for talent I am not worried.
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
Ah, okay. Those type of enterers.