Kenya Dig it?
Fellow Stormtroopers, let's hear it for Africa! More specifically, let's hear it for the good Christian people of Kenya, who are taking a stand for righteousness and truth. Take a look at this story:
KENYA SAYS "EVOLUTION SCMEVOLUTION"
I want every one of my readers to study this article long and hard. I am not going to get in to all of the evils of the "theory" of evolution at this time (too much to cover in just one post -- that will have to be a series!) but I do want to focus on this story in particular.
The heart of the matter is the clash between an atheist fortress of lies (the National Museum of Kenya, financed by the European Union. Need I say more?) and the God-fearing Christian people of the country who refuse to be bullied by "facts" or "knowledge". Scientists at the National Museum are opening up an exhibit of sin, which holds up the atrocious notions that the Earth is billions of years old and all living things evolved from common ancestors. The foremost fallacy on display at this hellish sideshow is the Turkana Boy -- supposedly an ancient pre-historic skeleton dating back many thousands of years. It's amazing how these Priests of Science keep beating on the same tired old drum. Doctors, here's all the facts that you need:
1) The Bible is completely inerrant, as it is the Word of God
2) God wasn't in to metaphors, so if He says creation took six days, it took six days. Not six million-year-long days, not 6 days with the first few days being way longer than the others because there was no sun around with which to measure time, just six days. Period. Likewise, if God says a bat is a bird (Leviticus 11:19), then dammit, it's a bird! Stop contradicting Him.
3) Since 1) and 2) are definitely true, it stands that evolution could not have taken place over millions of years which means that...
4) ...Turkana Boy and the rest of your trinkets are fakes
I hate to have to pull out the hard arguments like that, as it almost seems unfair to bludgeon someone so badly with truth. But scientists have proven time and time again that even when the simple truth is spelled out for them, they just refuse to see it.
Scientists, it's so easy. Just listen to the clear words of Bishop Boniface Adoyo, the head of Kenya's evangelical movement: "I did not evolve from Turkana Boy or anything like it. These sorts of silly views are killing our faith." Amen, Bishop Adoyo. Brothers and sisters in Christ's Clone Army, facts are not only silly, they're meaningless. Anybody can prove anything with facts. Big deal. What matters is faith! Unwavering, unquestioning, incurious faith is the gateway to Jesus' empire, and it is imperative not to let science try to dull faith with facts.
But if it's good science you need, Africa has that too. For example, the church in Africa has wisely steered it's members away from using condoms to prevent the spread of AIDS. They recognize that AIDS is God's wrathful judgment on the sinner. As long as a man and a woman do not engage in pre-marital sinfulness, they will not get AIDS. Check that off for good science. Also, in Kenya female genital mutilation is common practice. I personally object to use of the word "mutilation" though, as it makes it sound cruel. I think it should be re-christened "Female genital alteration so as to render dirty acts which could lead them to Hell uncomfortable and thus help them to maintain their purity". It's wordy, but I feel it really captures the true essence of what the procedure accomplishes. Again, good science. Satisfied now?
Unfortunately, officials at the museum are taking security precautions to ensure that no wise and virtuous persons make any attempts to dismantle their evolution/"mockery-of-God" display. I say, practice what you preach, evolutionists! Get rid of all your fancy security set-ups and go mano y mano with We the Faithful, and we'll see how "survival of the fittest" works out. My money is on us.
KENYA SAYS "EVOLUTION SCMEVOLUTION"
I want every one of my readers to study this article long and hard. I am not going to get in to all of the evils of the "theory" of evolution at this time (too much to cover in just one post -- that will have to be a series!) but I do want to focus on this story in particular.
The heart of the matter is the clash between an atheist fortress of lies (the National Museum of Kenya, financed by the European Union. Need I say more?) and the God-fearing Christian people of the country who refuse to be bullied by "facts" or "knowledge". Scientists at the National Museum are opening up an exhibit of sin, which holds up the atrocious notions that the Earth is billions of years old and all living things evolved from common ancestors. The foremost fallacy on display at this hellish sideshow is the Turkana Boy -- supposedly an ancient pre-historic skeleton dating back many thousands of years. It's amazing how these Priests of Science keep beating on the same tired old drum. Doctors, here's all the facts that you need:
1) The Bible is completely inerrant, as it is the Word of God
2) God wasn't in to metaphors, so if He says creation took six days, it took six days. Not six million-year-long days, not 6 days with the first few days being way longer than the others because there was no sun around with which to measure time, just six days. Period. Likewise, if God says a bat is a bird (Leviticus 11:19), then dammit, it's a bird! Stop contradicting Him.
3) Since 1) and 2) are definitely true, it stands that evolution could not have taken place over millions of years which means that...
4) ...Turkana Boy and the rest of your trinkets are fakes
I hate to have to pull out the hard arguments like that, as it almost seems unfair to bludgeon someone so badly with truth. But scientists have proven time and time again that even when the simple truth is spelled out for them, they just refuse to see it.
Scientists, it's so easy. Just listen to the clear words of Bishop Boniface Adoyo, the head of Kenya's evangelical movement: "I did not evolve from Turkana Boy or anything like it. These sorts of silly views are killing our faith." Amen, Bishop Adoyo. Brothers and sisters in Christ's Clone Army, facts are not only silly, they're meaningless. Anybody can prove anything with facts. Big deal. What matters is faith! Unwavering, unquestioning, incurious faith is the gateway to Jesus' empire, and it is imperative not to let science try to dull faith with facts.
But if it's good science you need, Africa has that too. For example, the church in Africa has wisely steered it's members away from using condoms to prevent the spread of AIDS. They recognize that AIDS is God's wrathful judgment on the sinner. As long as a man and a woman do not engage in pre-marital sinfulness, they will not get AIDS. Check that off for good science. Also, in Kenya female genital mutilation is common practice. I personally object to use of the word "mutilation" though, as it makes it sound cruel. I think it should be re-christened "Female genital alteration so as to render dirty acts which could lead them to Hell uncomfortable and thus help them to maintain their purity". It's wordy, but I feel it really captures the true essence of what the procedure accomplishes. Again, good science. Satisfied now?
Unfortunately, officials at the museum are taking security precautions to ensure that no wise and virtuous persons make any attempts to dismantle their evolution/"mockery-of-God" display. I say, practice what you preach, evolutionists! Get rid of all your fancy security set-ups and go mano y mano with We the Faithful, and we'll see how "survival of the fittest" works out. My money is on us.
Shoukai