Now, this is meant to be a political blog. And I never wanted to write about ahem, poo. But considering last week's posting and then Nate Myle's "Pooster" weekend, I couldn’t resist.

Firstly, the bloke made up the most flimsy excuse ever, a stomach bug. It's plain obvious to most that he was not out to four in the morning on stars and fresh air alone. And given the ridiculous amount of bad press and the NRL crackdown on alcohol recently, you would think some of these blokes would USE THEIR BLOODY BRAINS and not drink so much.

This leads into my next point. I confess to some "unladylike" behaviour myself when out on the town, yessiree, I can be a lout and a yobbo but never in my entire life, not even in my uni sharehouse days, have I defecated in a hotel hallway or any other hallway or non restroom apparatus. In fact, the only real emergency I've ever had was at a national park in Thailand, after a radical change to a high chili diet...and I still managed to at least get well out of public view and well, let's not talk about that one.

The only other instances of people defecating in public I have head of were from other people, such as when a friend of my sister discovered a (human sized) poo in the shower. When she confronted her housemate, (a stripper and probably on all sorts of drugs) she was told it belonged to the cat. There was a showdown but eventually the housemate cleaned it up (and moved out). Another friend confided that occasionally her alcoholic dad would be so drunk, he would crap in the lounge room and be so embarrassed afterwards, he wouldn't look at anyone for a few days. This is the behaviour of people with BIG PROBLEMS.

So it leads me back to the Roosters incident. How much alcohol would you have to consume if after four hours of sleep, you a) couldn’t even be bothered putting on some shorts to leave your hotel room, b) couldn’t find the bathroom and c) just went anywhere?

How about a six pack of beer? I think not. Half a slab? I would say that a hardened drinker and a man of rugby league player statue could probably knock back quite a few drinks before reaching the state of losing all realms of physical dignity.

Perhaps drunkenness is more about personality. In a recent Facebook Quiz titled “What sort of drunk are you?” I scored the Happy Drunk which was scarily accurate. In fact, my worst fault under the influence is that I’ll talk to anyone and everyone, yap their ears off and making twenty new friends each night out can often turn into oh god, why did I be nice to that creepy loser upon sober reflection? Maybe a category for Nate Myles could be “The Ape Drunk” where his normal civic instincts just go out the window and he beats his chest and scratches and eliminates bodily waste however he sees fit. However, even a new puppy at least tries to do their business away from their eating and sleeping area.

The Australian reports that not only was Myles found in a fire escape after the hotel incident, he was later drinking at the Normanby in Brisbane that very afternoon (for those of you who aren't familiar, the Normanby is a giganitc sports pub in a beautiful old building, a Brisbane institution). Queensland coach Mal Meninga joked that he was "a bit shitty" about the incident. Mal's speech and Myle's "I've matured" spiel here

As a proud Marroons Supporter with thankfully no afiliation to the Roosters, I am glad he won't be playing Orgin III and would go as far as to say that if he was out drinking again that very day, then he's got a serious bloody problem and a break from professional football might give him the time he needs to think about this.

With the huge amount of headlines for player misdemeanours this year, it really seems some of these boys really are all brawn and no brains.
Check out the Telegraph for the story

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