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The most hyped up issue floating around the media here in Malaysia is the issue of women who dresses up too indecently or showing too much skin. It is said that these women are finding trouble for themselves, digging their own graves when they receive unwanted attention from men who approaches them with the intention of indecent acts.
Seriously, I'm like so sick of hearing all this as this is nothing new. In fact, I reckon it has been happening since I was a kid....only the severity just got worst in the recent years. I still can remember my mom's words of caution ringing in my head until today. "That skirt's too short. You're only looking for trouble in those" or "That top shows too much cleavage. Do you know that they're rapist out there ready to pounce on you". Ooohh, as frustrated as I might feel at my loving mom...I guess at some point I can't really blame her for doing that. Because, I think I would be doing the exact same thing if it were my own daughter.
So, my point is, to me the trouble lies not so much with the women who can't seem to dress themselves up more decently. Hello? You think the men are so innocent themselves? If they were acting like saints and angles with a thick halo over their heads, can they not just leave these women alone and treat it as something ordinary instead of turning this harmless act upside down. Yeah sure, you'd say that that's what guys do. Ever heard of limits?! Fine, go pass a comment among your guy friends or even the women themselves, but is it so hard to keep your hands off them?! Don't these people even have a conscience about what they're doing? How would they feel if the woman involved was someone dear to them, like their sisters?
Women dress up this way to feel good about themselves. To some, it gives a boost to their confidence level - and before you start saying that confidence can be gained through other ways, this method just works for some people, okay? For example, some guys feel more confident when they own the latest, most expensive electronic gadget or some ridiculously priced clothing or suit. So, if guys are allowed to do something for themselves to appear more confident, why can't women do the same without getting harassed for it?
It's quite a common practice in the Asian culture for the parents to move into the home of their eldest child (or only child). Well, maybe not so common anymore as most of them prefer to have a place of their own (most probably a place which they bought while their children were growing up). But really....is this living arrangement a good idea?
Yes, while it shows some form of elderly respect to look after our parents after what they've done for us....but there are other ways to do this ritual, I'm sure. For example, maybe get them to live next door (Think, 'Everybody loves Raymond') or the next suburb or something like that. See, while they're not living under the same roof, but still easily reachable in case anything should happen or if they fall ill and needs to be taken care of. And yes, it still solves our daycare problems as well, because I'm sure grandma and grandpa would only be too happy to take care of the little tart whilst mom and dad are away at work.
The point is, with parents or in-laws or whatever relatives living under the same roof.....won't this arrangement interfere with the personal life of the said married couple. I mean, imagine if one fine day you're trying to discipline and teach your own child and out of the blue comes grandma or grandpa, who interferes in the whole process and insists that it should be done her/his way instead of yours. While we appreciate what they're trying to do (i.e. help ease the duties of being a parent), but times have changed and how they've brought us up before might not nescesarily apply to the present time. And besides, sometimes I think the only person that knows what's best for the child is his/her own parents (provided that they spend enough time with the child!).
Also, as people grow older they tend to be difficult to live with, what with all the demands and such (ok, some people not all). So, what happens if you happen to have such family members? Not only will you have a headache thinking of ways to please others, won't that bring unnescesary stress to the household? I, for one can't imagine living under the same roof with a replica of J.Lo's 'Monster In-Law'. OH.My.God! I'd be up praying every night that the said monster would, in time turn into an angel or pray for a miracle!
So, enough about what I think about this. What's your view? Is this a great idea...and if the worst happens, how should we handle it without causing stress to everyone in the house?
I happened to stumble upon my 13 year old cousin's blog on the Net, and dare I say that I'm extremely surprised and shocked to read the contents of her blog. I guess it's mainly because her entries are centered on how depressed she was and how life wasn't worth living for anymore, not to forget about how hurt she was after an unrequited love by a crush (and she's only 13!!). Thank God she's not suicidal yet.....!!!
But what really surprised me was how well she has kept all this emotions inside of her, because to the rest of us family members and relatives, she appear to be this sweet, bubbly and caring girl who everyone loves and adore! Is it really the same girl who is feeling bitter towards life and who wished that she did not exist at all in the first place in this world?
Sometimes it pains me to read her blog, because I think I kinda have a distant memory of how traumatic it is to be 13. Teenagehood has just started at that age, and we're all eager and jolly to explore stuffs that us big kids can do that the little ones can't (e.g. hanging out with friends, falling in and out of love and the works). But, these are suppossed to be the best times of our lives.....how did it suddenly appear to be our worst nightmare coming true?!
I wish I had some sort of an answer or solution to this whole scenario, but unfortunately I have no idea why things have to end up that way. One thing i know for sure is that all the events that happened at this age will stay with us right up into our adult life.....and who knows, some of us might be even scarred by it, which isn't nescessarily a good thing. Imagine, being jilted by your first crush and fast forward 10 odd years later....we find ourselves in our 20s and still single, not coz we're not atractive enough but because we're too afraid to give love a chance.
I also know that these events are there to help us grow up , making us stronger as adults.....but is there any way to make these life lessons not as harsh? Come on, we only live once right?!!
September 20th 2006 03:46
Gone are the days where women either are housewives in charge of all the family affairs or are holding some low-paid, low-position job in a company dominated by men. Today(and many years before that!), more and more women are emerging into high positions in the workplace, and even outdoing their male counterparts. No longer are they dependent on their husbands for income to survive and provide bread for the family....today, they're more independent as ever, aggressive (maybe?), opinionated and speaks their own minds!
So, with all these changes....sometimes it makes us wonder, does it affect the men in any way at all to see their better halves coming home with more bread, yet at the same time running the household, being in charge of everything and basically being the decision maker? Do they feel excited and proud that their wives are independent women with a mind of their own, as oppossed to one that follows their every command? Do they feel that a big burden has been taken off them, now that there's someone else who's helping him to bring income back home to feed tha family? Or.....do they feel threatened that they're losing their place as the man of the house, and that there's someone else who's more powerful and influential than them.....plus the fact that that someone is their wife, a women...and she earns maybe twice more
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September 14th 2006 13:30
Yeah, so I was just blogging about the possibilities of having a 'dude lit' around before....something for the guys to read so they'll understand women better. Coincidentally, I happened to be reading a chick lit written by a male author ar the moment. Funny thing though...I didn't realise it until today, when I'm like halfway through the book!
The book is called 'Cassandra French's Finishing School for Boys', written by Eric Garcia. You must be wondering how on earth can I not know that it was written by a guy, when the name is so obvious! Honestly, I was attracted to the name Garcia (was thinking about Adam Garcia from Coyote Ugly), that's why it failed to occur to me that Eric=male/guy
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September 13th 2006 02:40
We've heard of married couple having affairs outside their marraiges. Husband having an affair with his secretary, wife hooking up with the family gardener (ok, maybe this is too desperate housewives), husband and/or wife flirting dangerously with that gorgeous and young work mate, which leads on to a steamy relationship (or not).
And so, sometimes it makes us wonder....why do they do these things when they're suppossedly in a loving til-death-do-us-part relationship/marriage? Is it the thrill of the chase? Like when in high school, the harder it was to hook up with the most popular girl in school, the more determined you are to get her in the end? Or, is it more of an ego thingy? Sort of like a mid-life crisis maybe...when you feel that age is catching up on you, and suddenly the prospect of someone younger than you, who is physically attracted to you turns you on and gives you that confidence that maybe you're still attractive after all these years and wrinkles! Or....maybe you're just bored with your marriage now, when things with your partner are like a routine...there's no spark and excitement anymore
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September 11th 2006 03:30
I read once from a friend's blog, that she had been literally feeding her then 7-year old baby brother with fairy tales and love stories....think Disney's 'The Ice Princess', 'Pocahontas' and the like. It got me really intrigue and so I asked her...."aren't those shows for cute, little girls coz you know, boys are more of 'Transformers' and 'X-men' (or whatever it is that little boys are waching now!) people. Her reply really surprised me....
"I'm trying to form my baby brother to be a sensitive guy/men when he grows up. One that will understand girls/women and stuff down all that cool, egoistic attitude and will protect women and their rights. And what better way than to let him watch princessy fairy tales about love!". Righttt. This is a new for me. On one hand, it might be a good idea and her plan will work like a charm (her new age sensitive baby brother in the making)....but then I still think that he needs to be exposed to more guy movies just to give it a right balance you know. I'm just concerned that what with all those girly movies, he'd turn out to be too much of a softie (or gay - forgive me for saying this!)...or - a total wimp! While it can be argued that it does not have to be that way....he might turn out to be somewhat of a metrosexual man (think, pink polo shirts and great skin), but can we be really sure of that, though
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Cohabitation. You know, it’s when you stay together with your other halves under the same roof, yet you’re not exactly legally married….yet! Or, better yet, it’s something most of our conservative parents today would define as ‘living in sin’. Now, someone tell me again….why is this called living in sin?!
Looking at this from a high cultured (Asian - excuse the pun!) point of view, it has always been a tradition that couples should stay with their parents while they are dating and can only move in with their partners after they are legally married. This equates to us, the younger and more hip generation, showing some form of respect to our elders and to ourselves
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Imagine this scene: Boy and girl practically grew up together, making them childhood friends and best friends. As they matured, the bond grew stronger, making them rely on each other’s existence to survive in this world and for support etc. etc. Then, fate happens (in their terms); they fall in love during those tender teenage years of high school (think, Dawson and Joey from Dawson’s Creek).
So, the question here is, should they give in to their romantic feelings and say, leave their days of being best friends and brace the possibilities of going steady
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I used to think that chick lits were stories of fiction about young, successful women in their 30s, with a high-flying career and lived in that superb and posh New York apartment smacked right in the middle of the CBD or one of the few wealthy suburbs. They seem to have everything going for them in life….well, almost everything except their love lives. To me, these women are disastrous when it comes to relationships. Not only do they find it difficult (as in rocket science difficult) to keep the flame of their relationships burning, they’re extremely afraid of the C-word as well (C for commitment?!). I guess I was thinking more in terms of the drama/sitcom Ally McBeal when I heard of the existence of such novels.
I did not bother much about giving these a try, because at that time they’re like any other normal romance novels anyway. Not until recently though (out of curiosity and sheer boredom), that I decided to give Sophie Kinsella’s Shopaholics series a try. Not bothering to find out the order of her books, I picked the one that seemed the most interesting (something that is ME – a hopeless romantic!), judging from the summary at the back cover. And so, I discovered Shopaholic Ties the Knot!
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Comment by Justina
on Showing some skin is a crime?!