Jumping The Broom
July 1st 2009 13:58
Yesterday, in an Associated Press article, “AP Newsbreak: SC gov ‘crossed lines’ with women”, by Tamara Lush and Evan Berland, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford tearfully admitted that he “crossed lines” with other women, but never had sex with any of them except his mistress, Maria Belen Chapur, the Argentine bombshell. Does “crossed lines” imply that they shook hands, or does it mean they jumped the broom, or something in between? Mr. Sanford wasn’t disclosing.
Mr. Sanford described his relationship with Ms. Chapur as, "This was a whole lot more than a simple affair; this was a love story," a forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day." Normally, a husband of four children might call his marriage a love story; mistresses are usually for fun. What about the other women? When they read the Lush and Berland article, they’re going to feel used; what was their relationship? Practice for Ms. Chapur? Was he jumping the broom with his wife while he was jumping the broom with Ms. Chapur and shaking hands with the other women? That’s a lot of exercise if you’re not in shape, a workout for the quads and the biceps. But, didn’t Mr. Sanford demonstrate his fitness by hiking on the Appalachian Trail from Columbia, SC to Buenos Aires in one day?
According to the article, Mr. Sanford “said that during the encounters with other women he "let his guard down" with some physical contact but "didn't cross the sex line." Well, I’ve shaken the hands of many women during business encounters; no big deal. I “didn’t cross the sex line” either. If that’s the case, Mr. Sanford, why are you ashamed? Was it more than a hand shake? Was kissing involved? How about inappropriate touching during those “trade meetings” you billed the people of South Carolina for attending? Will we get another tearful confession tomorrow that, yes, you jumped the broom with one or more of the other women, especially if they produce a Mark, Jr.?
Mr. Sanford’s dates with the other women occurred outside the U.S. during his marriage to "blow off steam" with male friends. Why couldn’t he take a trip to Disneyworld with his wife and family to “blow off steam,” like the Supper Bowl MVP announces? Ride the coasters, get drunk, have your wife get mad at you for getting drunk in front of the kids, and have news stories written about your public intoxication. Doesn’t that show better decision making ability than infidelity?
Let’s think logically about all of this. Maybe, this was a calculated plan on Mr. Sanford’s part to win his party’s nomination in 2012 for the presidency. Think about it. All of the womanizing makes Mr. Sanford look like some kind of testosterone laden stud to half the women in this country (all the women who downed shots with Mrs. Clinton when she was campaigning, and Mrs. Palin), and most of the men (all the men who downed shots with Mrs. Clinton while she was campaigning, and Mr. Palin). Mr. Sanford might figure that he has enough votes right there to win, but wait: more than half the marriages in this country fail, and most fail due to infidelity. More votes!
South Carolina is known as the Palmetto State; maybe it should be called the Fornication State; their politicians seem to have particular expertise in that. Gov. Sanford, the latest Republican politician/fornicator, was last seen consulting with his “spiritual advisor.” The Rev. Jesse Jackson, the Democratic politician/ fornicator, originally Greenville’s favorite son, is his own spiritual advisor; he goes where his spirit tells him.
New York comes in a close second with Elliot Spitzer, the Democratic fornicator, and Sol Wachtler, the Republican former Chief Judge of the New York Court of Appeals fornicator. Then we (I use the term “we” since I am a former New Yorker, but I am not a fornicator) have Democrat Bill Clinton, New York’s favorite adopted son, by way of Hope, Arkansas, a distant suburb of New York City, who claimed the title of Fornicator in Chief because he had oral sex with Monica Lewinsky just outside the Oval Office. Strangely, when Bill Clinton left office, his approval rating was 66%, the highest approval rating of any president since World War II. Maybe that’s why Hillary took him back.
Stay tuned for round three of “True Confessions,” or “How I Can’t Get My Pants On Anymore Because My Legs Got So Big From Jumping The Broom.” The truth is always very interesting.
Mr. Sanford described his relationship with Ms. Chapur as, "This was a whole lot more than a simple affair; this was a love story," a forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day." Normally, a husband of four children might call his marriage a love story; mistresses are usually for fun. What about the other women? When they read the Lush and Berland article, they’re going to feel used; what was their relationship? Practice for Ms. Chapur? Was he jumping the broom with his wife while he was jumping the broom with Ms. Chapur and shaking hands with the other women? That’s a lot of exercise if you’re not in shape, a workout for the quads and the biceps. But, didn’t Mr. Sanford demonstrate his fitness by hiking on the Appalachian Trail from Columbia, SC to Buenos Aires in one day?
According to the article, Mr. Sanford “said that during the encounters with other women he "let his guard down" with some physical contact but "didn't cross the sex line." Well, I’ve shaken the hands of many women during business encounters; no big deal. I “didn’t cross the sex line” either. If that’s the case, Mr. Sanford, why are you ashamed? Was it more than a hand shake? Was kissing involved? How about inappropriate touching during those “trade meetings” you billed the people of South Carolina for attending? Will we get another tearful confession tomorrow that, yes, you jumped the broom with one or more of the other women, especially if they produce a Mark, Jr.?
Mr. Sanford’s dates with the other women occurred outside the U.S. during his marriage to "blow off steam" with male friends. Why couldn’t he take a trip to Disneyworld with his wife and family to “blow off steam,” like the Supper Bowl MVP announces? Ride the coasters, get drunk, have your wife get mad at you for getting drunk in front of the kids, and have news stories written about your public intoxication. Doesn’t that show better decision making ability than infidelity?
Let’s think logically about all of this. Maybe, this was a calculated plan on Mr. Sanford’s part to win his party’s nomination in 2012 for the presidency. Think about it. All of the womanizing makes Mr. Sanford look like some kind of testosterone laden stud to half the women in this country (all the women who downed shots with Mrs. Clinton when she was campaigning, and Mrs. Palin), and most of the men (all the men who downed shots with Mrs. Clinton while she was campaigning, and Mr. Palin). Mr. Sanford might figure that he has enough votes right there to win, but wait: more than half the marriages in this country fail, and most fail due to infidelity. More votes!
South Carolina is known as the Palmetto State; maybe it should be called the Fornication State; their politicians seem to have particular expertise in that. Gov. Sanford, the latest Republican politician/fornicator, was last seen consulting with his “spiritual advisor.” The Rev. Jesse Jackson, the Democratic politician/ fornicator, originally Greenville’s favorite son, is his own spiritual advisor; he goes where his spirit tells him.
New York comes in a close second with Elliot Spitzer, the Democratic fornicator, and Sol Wachtler, the Republican former Chief Judge of the New York Court of Appeals fornicator. Then we (I use the term “we” since I am a former New Yorker, but I am not a fornicator) have Democrat Bill Clinton, New York’s favorite adopted son, by way of Hope, Arkansas, a distant suburb of New York City, who claimed the title of Fornicator in Chief because he had oral sex with Monica Lewinsky just outside the Oval Office. Strangely, when Bill Clinton left office, his approval rating was 66%, the highest approval rating of any president since World War II. Maybe that’s why Hillary took him back.
Stay tuned for round three of “True Confessions,” or “How I Can’t Get My Pants On Anymore Because My Legs Got So Big From Jumping The Broom.” The truth is always very interesting.
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