John Conroy

IRELAND


Joined October 8th 2007

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The arrival of Juan Ramos as manager at Spurs next week will have an interesting knock-on effect: the return of Spurs' prodigal son Frederic Kanoute.

Kanoute arrived at White Hart Lane in 2003. He was never the most consistent of strikers, but was a favourite of the Tottenham faithful regardless. Brilliant on his day, he could go weeks without looking like scoring. A Tottenham man through and through, then.

But decision to declare international availability for Mali enraged the board, and they eventually shipped him off to Sevilla. Where he has gone from strength to strength.


Ramos is the man who resurrected his career and finally brought the best out of the skillful Frenchman (I don't care what country he decides he plays for, this week- Kanoute is French), and specultation is rife that part of the deal which will Bring Ramos to the club stipulates that Spurs will make a bid for their former striker.

This will pave the way for Manchester United to finally land long-term target Berbatov.
Berbatov is rumoured to have fallen out with the Tottenham management team, and is among a number ot Spurs players who are quietly assessing their options.

Manchester United, meanwhile, are crying out for an accomplished genuine striker who can hold the ball up and can play at the apex of a three-pronged forward line. Berbatov is perfect for this role.

Spurs will have to stump up a minimum of £15m for Kanoute, but will be looking for around £25m in a January deal for their talismanic Bulgarian Berbatov.
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Blogging Comp: Only Moaners Need Apply (LINK)

October 20th 2007 00:29
Premiership Moaners Comp Carnival
Premiership Moaners


It's a new paradigm in sports blogging, and the most exciting development in the history of football.


A new blogging competition/carnival has begun, right here on FootballFive.com

The search is on: I am starting two searches simultaneously:

1 To find the most whinging/complaining fan of any team in the world
2 To try to discover, once and for all, who is the biggest moaner out of all the professional footballers in England.


Prizes:

1st A candlelight dinner with Avram Grant in a top Soho eaterie.
2nd A visit to your place of work from Ashley Cole and Sheryl Tweedy
3rd Framed Steven Gerrard pubis, on an autographed white background


Entries from those who wish to moan about things other than football will also be considered for publication. But I'm not promising anything.

Also, shout out to Harry Hotspur: I told him I'd give him a permalink because he was so good as to give me one, but Jon hasn't told me yet how to do it!!!
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In the future, I wonder if any teams will be able to compete with the London clubs financially. Arsenal are now officially the richest team in England. It doesn't seem to matter how many shirts Manchester United sell in Asia... Arsenal can charge so much more to regular punters and corporate types alike at their 60,000 stadium, than even ManU can't keep up.

Meanwhile some Chelsea fans spend £70 to go to the game. No, not into a prawn-sandwich enclosure, £70 for a regular seat.

And then there's Tottenham... always renowned as a moneybags club. They have the second-highest average ticket price in the league (behind Arsenal). Can you imagine how much they could charge if they were actually any good?

Spurs have just posted profits of £26m. Now, I'm not so naive to think that all that money that went on Darren Bent last summer went in one big cheque for £16.5m. But still... this is a club that spends an ABSOLUTE BLOODY FORTUNE on players every year. They never win a damn thing. They get about ten bob for competing in the UEFA Cup. They only have 38-odd thousand paying punters every week. You can't even get a good sandwich there.
So where the hell is the money coming from?


This is a real Mulder and Scully job, this.

Okay: here's my theory-
Arsenal President Peter Hills Woods and Arsene Wenger are actually latter-day mages/shamens/witches, and they conjured Patrick Viera, Cesc Fabregas, Robin Van Persie, Thierry Henry and a dozen more players out of a massive cauldron, while reciting spells and throwing things like newt's teeth and crow's feet, and all that.
Alan Sugar/Daniel Levy are on to their secret, and so Hills-Woods has instructed his Dark Lord (Trevor Brooking) to pay them off to keep their mouths shut.

Thus Spurs get around £20m in black envelopes from Sir Trevor every year, while Wenger continues to use his magic to pull unheard-of but class players out of his a**e at the start of every season.

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None of the English players, despite what they might have been saying before the game, were looking forward to this date with the bitter cold and the plastic grass of Moscow. But with 65 minutes of this tricky tie tie behind them, they were ahead, in control, and in a prime position to secure qualification for next year's European Championship.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Web Rubbish :

Teamtalk's big story this morning is that Steven Gerrard wants to play well against Russia. What a scoop


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Yawn! What a bore. Still f**k-all happening. International weeks suck donkey-ass.


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A Brief History of ... Arsenal (LINK)

October 13th 2007 13:24
Welcome to the first in a new series of articles chronicling the histories of some of the proudest old clubs in England. If I'm giving your team a hard time in this series, please don't take it personally. Or do. I don't really care.


[ Click here to read more ]
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Football Pharaoh's New Home! Huzzah! (LINK)

October 13th 2007 11:38
Welcome to the Football Pharaoh's new domain at www.footballfive.com! The new subject of this site is 'real' football, not that padded Gridiron garbage, or the barbaric Aussie equivalent. Here we talk about the civilised game of Associated Football, and the refined gentlemen who ply their trade in the English Premier League and Champions League.

So all the rest of you savages who want to talk NFL or AFL or anything else can f**k off. But please don't forget to visit one of my sponsors on the way out


[ Click here to read more ]
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They say no news is good news... if so this must be a great day for football. Lets see what insane lies the papers and websites are spouting today, given that it's international week and there is f&^k-all actually happening


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Celtic Fined, Dida Banned

October 11th 2007 17:49

Celtic have been hit with a £25,000 fine by UEFA following the 'DidaGate' incident at Parkhead the other night during the Celtic / Milan Champions League clash.

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