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Joel Fortune

Sydney, New South Wales, AUSTRALIA


Joined March 18th 2007

Number of Posts:
11

Number of Comments:
11

Karma:
5



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580 Vote(s)
17 Comment(s)
11 Post(s)

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Recent Posts

Super Drug-Addict Showbag!!

April 5th 2007 00:18
SUPER DRUG-ADDICT SHOWBAG
Contents

1 Disposable Syringe w/ needle $0.00
1 Stainless Steel Spoon $9.95
1 Expired Credit Card $0.00
1 Ice Pipe (rare) $19.95
1 Pack of Styvo Classics $10.50
3 Bic Lighters $4.50
1 Hash Pipe $9.95
5 Pipe Gauzes $3.95
1 Compact Mirror $5.95
1 Set of Mini-Scales $29.95
10 Packs of Tally-Ho's $7.00
1 List of Dealer's Phone Numbers $ Priceless
12 Month Supply of Completed Centrelink Forms $ Priceless
15ml Clear Eyes $9.95

PLUS

Your choice of a rubix cube or a deck of cards for all the time you spend waiting

Total Retail Value: SUPER DRUG-ADDICT SHOWBAG - Over $110!

Distributor: You don't need to know our name
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Ten Things To Do Before You Die

April 3rd 2007 23:25


Serve gaol time.
Become addicted to a drug or two. (inc. alcohol, exc. cigarettes).
Piss on a shop front.
Sever ties with everyone you know (inc. yourself).
Non-violently crash a party.
Get so drunk at a wedding/funeral/wake that you don't remember anything you said or did.
Punch a deserved person in the face.
Quit university.
Become a professional artist.
Convince yourself you are Jesus.
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Potential Air Freshener Fragrances

April 3rd 2007 03:19
Burnt Toast
Melting Wax
Burning Hair
Petrol
Fresh Tabouli
Beer Drenched Jeans
Old Wino
Mouldy Carpet
Wet Paint
Cat Breath


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A Real Conversation (I)...

March 27th 2007 03:21
from Wikipedia

Between a pregnant girl and her friend at the local mall


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John Howard's Birthday

March 26th 2007 04:20
One day a guy came into the store where I work and asked if I could help him pick a birthday card. He told me it was for John Howard and was from our local member. Not only did our local member pass the job onto some lackey, the lackey was now trying to pass it off onto me. Before I could even make a half-arsed attempt to help him, a regular customer who was looking at cards came forward with a suggestion.

He presented the lackey with an Ozzy Osbourne birthday card, which when opened had Ozzy saying in typical Ozzy fashion, 'I-I-I don't give a fuck how old you are. (Inaudible) fuckin paranoid. Sharooon!' Before this had even finished another customer came forward with a card that when opened said 'Happy Birthday to a 24-carat absolute plonker


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Where's the SRC when you need them?

March 25th 2007 09:58
Soccer was the favourite lunchtime sport at my primary school, mainly because tackle football was banned and touch football was boring. There was only one 'soccer field', inverted commas because it was really a set of hockey goals put on a dirt patch with soccer markings.

Obviously the older kids got first choice over the space they wanted, leaving over half a dozen other groups to find makeshift places to play soccer. As you would move through the grades you would gain rights to the next best space, with the departure of year 6 kids meaning year 5 gained rights to the field with goals


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The Appin Massacre

March 21st 2007 22:16
Appin is a small town around 60km south-west of the Sydney CBD, around 15km from where I grew up. The road that runs through Appin is the main route between Campbelltown and Wollongong. While I have passed through this town many times, it was not until recently I learned a little about the history of Appin.


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Some of the most annoying people on Australian TV

March 21st 2007 08:28
Some of these people make me feel anxious, others make me feel violent. What about you?

The entire cast of 'Sunrise' (special mention to David 'Kochie' Koch


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Got any boxes?

March 20th 2007 05:09
Box (from Wikipedia)*

A few weeks ago I needed to buy something or other from one of the many $2-discount type stores on the main street. I was having my purchase processed, just before the close of trading, when a tall, wiry guy with glasses and awkward demeanour walked into the store


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To-Do List

March 19th 2007 03:09
I was flicking through an old notebook from last semester looking for a particular thing of no relevance. I came across a 'to-do list' that I had written, containing things I needed to organise that day, as well as within my life more generally.

1. Study for quiz.
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Recent Comments

Comment by Joel Fortune
on Being Broke Sucks

April 4th 2007 05:27


Arthur Fortune
I've given myself this week off uni to cause some trouble and debauchery. But now I'm broke, behind on study, and have a week off over Easter to sit at home on my broke arse contemplating what I have to do.

: )

Comment by Joel Fortune
on David Hicks is a Terrorist! No, he's a Victim!

April 4th 2007 05:18


Arthur Fortune
Exactly.

People are looking at completely different issues, which is so frustrating to watch.

Great post Brenton.

Comment by Joel Fortune
on Ten Things To Do Before You Die

April 4th 2007 05:09


Arthur Fortune
Surely you've done some time Brenton?


Comment by Joel Fortune
on Ten Things To Do Before You Die

April 4th 2007 00:59


Arthur Fortune
Miss Nomer,

Don't despair, I still have 3 to go. We'll get there!

Joel

Comment by Joel Fortune
on A Real Conversation (I)...

March 27th 2007 11:22


Arthur Fortune
FAAATALIIITYYY!

Comment by Joel Fortune
on The Appin Massacre

March 22nd 2007 02:44


Arthur Fortune
Thanks D.

Not many people in the area know or acknowledge this, which I think is quite depressing in itself.

Comment by Joel Fortune
on What may we call each other?

March 22nd 2007 01:49


Arthur Fortune
While it is an abbreviation of 'Aboriginal' it is viewed as being highly offensive and derogatory. I've found this to be a useful guide in referring to Aboriginal Australians. I don't find the use of 'Aussies' offensive but I think the others listed may be found offensive by their respective people.

Comment by Joel Fortune
on Wearing shoes indoors

March 21st 2007 08:55


Arthur Fortune
If the person is particularly house proud I'll take my shoes off but like to avoid it when I can. My main concern is not ruining the flooring. Taking shoes off for me is a sign that I feel extremely comfortable in the house and in the company of the people there. So I'll usually only do it at really good friends houses, otherwise I'll keep it formal with the shoes. I've never considered this to be rude. From Sydney, Australia by the way.

Comment by Joel Fortune
on My Profession of Love for Dear John Howard

March 21st 2007 08:34


Arthur Fortune
I love his laugh. We hardly get to hear it, which makes it that much more special when we do. <3 JH.

Comment by Joel Fortune
on Welcome to Arthur Fortune!

March 21st 2007 04:43


Arthur Fortune
Thanks Charles! I already feel like it's my local.