Entertainment News
March 7th 2009 05:45
Breaking News from Hollywood!
Steve Carell has signed on to play "The Shark" in a remake of "Jaws".
Steve Carell has signed on to play "The Shark" in a remake of "Jaws".
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Jim Spears
Sydney, New South Wales, AUSTRALIA
Joined April 30th 2008
Number of Posts:
52
Number of Comments:
10
Karma:
7
Recent Posts Viagra Inc.January 11th 2009 16:49
For centuries men over a certain age have enjoyed the privileges of sexual trading where they swap old models for new but science is starting to reveal a dark side to this cycle as performance enhancing drugs become the most exciting thing to happen to chemistry since Timothy Leary. Guaranteeing Man's sexual stamina is the Holy Grail of the 21st century with everything from pills to nasal sprays promising to restore glory. The 20th century will be remembered as masculinity's last stand; the emergence of Feminism wrought changes in sexual politics that opened sexual trading up to women. Celebrity toy-boys have replaced puppies and adopted children as the Hollywood fad.
The Advanced Medical Institute offers a range of products for dysfunctional sexuality and they have clinics from Phoenix to Jakarta. With the C.I.A. dispensing Viagra to Afghan warlords to help win the War on Terror the stakes will just continue to grow. Attempting to win a C.I.A guaranteed export market the Advanced Medical Institute has been forced to sell a difficult product through traditional channels risking the rancour of the masculine elite. Advertising these products is harder than you'd think; in a single fortnight 450 complaints were lodged over ads in London that innocently asked "Want longer lasting SEX?" Kelly Burke revealed in the SMH that the ads were deemed '[offensive] to public sensibility, ...gratuitous, inappropriate for public display and unsuitable for the eyes of children' by the British Advertising Standards Authority. Last August Australian authorities also forced the Advanced Medical Institute to make changes to their ad campaign and the word "SEX" was covered with "Censored". The masculine elite has for years managed to keep the sexual worms in the can and when they traded in for a newer model we all assumed the problem was with the woman but... In the past an older man with a young woman inspired jealousy: "That should be me..." Now the same older man inspires pity: "Poor bastid. He's lost his drive." According to the 2001 census London contains 7 million odd people but over 4.3 million are under 40 which represents a sizable threat to the established order. "Children of the Corn" If children became aware that Prime Ministers, Presidents, CEOs could face sexual performance issues would they be prepared to sit back and allow them to control the world? How can a man who can't sustain an erection run a country, let alone a company? Advertising the sexual malfunctions of men will destroy the system they worked to create and women will run into the arms of younger men. The younger man is king because he knows it doesn't happen to everyone.
The Price for AppearanceDecember 20th 2008 16:33
The modern celebrity is forced to go through painful processes to maintain a popular appearances but when it helps avoid scrutiny of records and performance it is worth financial and physical pain. Italian President Silvio Berlescuni and Queensland Premier Bligh are recent celebrity devotees to cosmetic surgery but as trends go political appearances are no fad.
Abraham Lincoln is the greatest champion of the people in history (when long careers of success are the yardstick). More than any simple act, like voting in 1835 for the state, Chicago, rather than the party, Lincoln was a man with a beard. Lincoln developed the authority to grow a beard after working hard for "common folk..[for] moderate fees" Beard approvals in 19th century America were notoriously hard to obtain.  Alan Moore: Bearded genius, writer, magician, anarchist.
Lincoln's successes demand he join the pantheon of great bearded thinkers because he concluded that slavery was wrong according to the Constitution of the United States of America, capitalism and the Bible; declaring wrong any system where "some have laboured, and others have, without labour enjoyed a large proportion of the fruits." Fortunately the public record is saturated with Lincoln's work because his fitness regime, favourite sport/team remain mysteries. Discovering the elements to political success seems to be a task that has eluded Australian politicians. Kim Beazley's adherence to healthy weight-loss ensured electoral defeat; had he been willing to endure liposuction he could have forced voters in to making the tough decisions. A campaign from Flat Stanley Beazley would have provided a stiffer challenge to John Howard who did succumb to a smoother, younger operator. The stable, sensible but youthful Kevin Rudd was able to outmanoveaur John Howard in every battle from internet to climate change. History will show that John Howard was eventually beaten because his appearance was never updated and voters will always go with youth; if John Howard had been willing to shave his remaining folicles and wear contacts, like the ones that make your eyes look red, it could have been a real election but Kevin Rudd's stable short-back-and-sides captured the imagination of the voters.  Kevin Rudd's No-Mistakes-Haircut
Vorers may not have been swayed by Howard's appearance but seeing him put-it-all-on-the-line may have squeezed a few votes through. No modern politician can traverse the "beard gulf" to Abraham Lincoln but they should be inspired to strike out and find their own physical appearance that will shock and sell. The time for excuses is over after more than a year of Labor rule we still don't have a federal fashion fad to enjoy.
Sydney's Mean StreetsDecember 14th 2008 17:59
I remember Olde Sydney and it was not situated so far north as Gosford. It was located in the blood of The People, mixed blood of 200 years immigration. Sydney was always the first port and the introduction to a tough and unforgiving land for every race; many white men were lost to the Outback.
With nature strips and mass transit Sydney was forever changed and the community bound by hard slog developed geographic divisions that create difference and, eventually, prejudice. For mixed-race couples parts of Sydney are no go zones; you wouldn't dare swing hands together in eastern Sydney. Instilled with the White Man's belief system these areas of Sydney have become hate's haven
The Wealthy Speak OutDecember 1st 2008 12:36
Deep inside all of us lives a little filthy rich industrialist, tyrant or entrepreneur which dreams of bullying and selling people. For over 80% of the population these will remain idle daydreams but the wealthy 20% face lifestyle changes that will seperate them from their communities. Differences in lifestyles can often bred resentment and impotent anger rather than understanding but wealthy individuals are setting out on a PR offensive to change this pattern. The richest member of the Billionaire's Club of Duckburg, "Uncle" Scrooge McDuck, has been central to the campaign as figurehead and leader.
Public perception was targeted early as one area where wealthy individuals felt they were being unfairly treated: "There is only one minority whose entire population, that's 100%, everyone, needs legal protection: Fortune 500 CEOs. CEOs and businessmen live like parolees where every move is dictated by laws and regulations and every moment shadowed by teams of lawyers; wouldn't that make you feel like a criminal? Free association allows them to huddle together and share woes; no-one understands how lonely it can get up there. When it all goes wrong for them they might get parachutes but they fall as individuals
Australian Flag: Aussie BattlerOctober 28th 2008 17:27
 Flag of Australia
The Bulletin was fierce labeling it a "bastard flag" after the Commonwealth unveiled the winning design. The official competition had 7 criteria: loyalty to the empire, Federation, history, heraldry, distinctiveness, utility and cost of manufacture. Most believed that a design without the union flag and the southern cross would not be successful. The Australian flag was overlooked or not considered by early leaders, PM Barton was known to prefer the Australian Federation Flag and was the first of many prime ministers to be unconvinced by the design. Seven judges whittled the 32,000 options down to the five entries that evoked the Anti-Transportation League flag from 1849 and the Victorian flag first used in 1854.  Australian Federation Flag
Great Coach; Bad PlayerOctober 24th 2008 15:51
World Cup qualifying always brings trouble for someone. Changing manager mid campaign has exciting precedent Hiddink got Australia in to 2006 and Scolari won 2002 World Cup after taking over in 2001. Argentina are very strong and after losing to lowly Chile manager Alfio Basile knew it was time go. Somehow this has made Argentina look more dangerous; the resignation of Alfio Basile was greeted with unrestrained joy by Lionel Messi "When things do not work, it is better to make changes. It's been a long time since Argentina have been playing bad and maybe the team needed a change. The idea of Batista taking over seems very good to me." Batista is the gold winning coach from Beijing 2008. Carlos Bianchi four time championship winning coach with Boca Juniors has also been mentioned. Then there is the other candidate...Diego Armando Maradona.
 Maradona with World Youth Cup in 1979
Aussie Miscalculations The Cane ToadOctober 22nd 2008 18:52
The Australian government is putting the nation's best spinning efforts in to nation building and everyone has an obligation to help. Funnel webs inspire fear, koalas compassion and fuzziness but the cane toad is reviled by all. Everyone acknowledges some big mistakes have been in Australia but a collective effort against the cane toad could be the start of a wider healing process.
In a study by the New Zealand based Invasive Species Specialist Group (ISSG) the cane toad was voted one the '100 Worlds Worst Invasive Species'with rabbits and domestic cats. Heady company considering the toads have only been in Australia since August 1935. Cane beetles were attacking cane fields in northern Queensland. The locals brought in some toads. 101 toads were transported from Hawaii to North Queensland, breeding almost immediately while in captivity. In six months authorities released 60,000 toads. And the war began
Good SupportOctober 20th 2008 16:32
In the Barclay's Premier League match between Aston Villa and Portsmouth at the weekend a Villa supporter threw a coin at a match official once again raising questions of "Good Support" vs "Bad Support".
After the game Harry Redknapp, manager of Portsmouth, seemed genuinely concerned about the way fans choose to support football "You come out of football grounds now and you see grandparents with kids and they are sticking fingers up at you and they are making filthy gestures to the team coach. You look at them and these people and it scares me. I think it is horrific, I really do.'' This could be the fans attempting to create a hostile work environment for visitors; in the Australian State of Origin rugby league series the trip to Lang Park for visiting NSW rugby league teams is famously hostile. Perhaps the kids are told that it is all an act
Envoying WhalesOctober 20th 2008 13:43
After a year of searching, five months of exciting rumours Sandy Hollway has been officially unveiled as Australia's Whaling Envoy. With a resume including the Sydney Olympics and Cyclone Larry recovery Sandy Hollway's diplomatic skills continue to pave the way to his success. Although not quite as attractive as the name Sandy suggests he might still taste glory.
Lucrative contracts established between The Whales and Australians have brought mutual satisfaction over decades with whale watching enterprises forming a healthy chunk of Australian GDP. The appointment of former Hawke Chief of Staff, Hollway is not surprising *wink* but he has no delusions about the size of his task saying "I think we might be past the point where the definition of success is a complete halt [to whaling]" Hollway's realistic assessment is sure to be raised in "talks" with The Whales in coming weeks
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on The Price for Appearance
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Not as good as this though