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Artichoke in Bloom
First, I'd like to apologize for being so tardy lately. As I've stated in my other blog I've been ill and in the hospital lately, every thing is now fine and I hope to be able to continue my blogging from now on without too many interruptions. I also hope to get back to cooking and inventing recipes now. Also, thank you for sticking with my blogs and for remaining faithful to them.
I have a collection of some very old cookbooks, some are published by the big publishers and some are local or organization cookbooks. The one I use a lot is one that was published in Louisiana and has many regional recipes and some not so regional.
One of my favorite is their Italian Stuffed Artichokes. I used to get these by my Great-Aunt Lucile. She was my father's aunt and a wonderful lady, Welsh by breeding, Sicilian by marriage. It's funny but many of my great-aunts married Sicilians, as did my grand-mother. I've often wondered if there is a relationship between the Welsh people and the Sicilians, I can't find one but they seem to be drawn to each other. <big smile on my face>
Reproducing my Aunt Lucile's recipe is almost impossible, but this comes very close, without the ground beef. I like the ground beef because it makes this a complete meal without fixing a separate protein dish but I do usually add toasted Italian bread and a tossed salad. Neither is necessary but they are nice to have. These are usually added only when I have someone else to feed, because I don't make that much for myself.
The artichoke (Cynara scolymus) is a type of thistle in the Family Asteraceae. The edible part of the plant is the base (receptacle) of the flower head in bud, properly called a vegetable as it is harvested well before any vegetable develops. The "bud" is sometimes called globe artichoke, French artichoke, or just choke, to avoid confusion with the Jerusalem artichoke, a different plant.
Finding very large, affordable artichokes around here is very difficult, I try but finding them, when I can't find the large ones I settle for the ones I can find, if they are in good condition and not turning gray and wilted. Do not ever buy an artichoke that isn't very green and healthy looking, they tend to taste horrible.
Ingredients:
Four to six Artichokes, depending on size
1 large can Italian seasoned bread crumbs (if you make your own make sure they are very finely ground and very well seasoned with Italian herbs)
1 Bunch fresh parsley
4 Large cloves garlic, finely minced (use 6 if the cloves aren't large or if you love garlic and want more of it)
1 – 1 ½ cups grated Romano cheese (do this to personal taste, but should be strongly flavored)
salt and pepper to taste
1 loaf white bread; empty bread from plastic to a brown paper bag at least 2 to 3 days before making this dish (the bread should be stale but not hard)
Very good Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Preparation of Artichokes:
Cut off stems to bottom of artichoke; the vegetable should remain standing when set upright
Cut off ½ to ¾ inch from top of with very sharp knife
With scissors trim tip of leaves approximately ½ inch
Soak in cold water, with some lemon juice while assembling the stuffing
When the stuffing is ready:
Turn upside down on paper towels to drain
Mash down with palm of hands to open leaves
Dressing – Artichokes:
Bread, garlic and cheese should be prepared in a blender or food processor
Mix all ingredients in a large pan, except the parsley, salt, pepper and olive oil; Cook lightly, do not over cook the hamburger as you will be cooking it further
Add chopped parsley and salt and pepper to taste
Starting with the driest artichoke, go around the artichoke, opening the leaves with one hand and filling with the other, pack as full as you desire
When the artichokes is filled, place fingers in the top and pull apart to expose the choke; with a spoon, pull out the fuzzy choke (it will literally choke you if you try to eat it, a very uncomfortable feeling, itchy to say the least). Stuff the center with as much filling as you wish.
In a large pot, place artichokes in the bottom, standing on end (usually only two to three will fit in a large pot); drizzle with 2 – 3 tablespoons olive oil, being sure that some drips down the sides
Pour 1 inch of water or white wine (you can mix the two if you wish) in the bottom of the pot and steam over low heat until done (fork in base of artichoke comes goes in easily); this is usually 30 to 45 minutes depending on the size of the vegetable. Also, it is done a leaf pulls off easily
Serve when hot with fresh Italian bread, toasted or just warmed in the oven.
Artichokes really don't go with wine but if you like wine try a sweetish, but not overly sweet white wine.
Roux 'b Doux, watching
First of all let me say that my typing is horrible right now, as is my spelling, but with luck my spell checker and grammar checker (horribly wrong many times) will catch most of the mistakes. Maybe, maybe not.
I've been gone a lot lately, my blogs have suffered as has my writing. I've been diagnosed as bi-polar, which frankly sucks but also explains some of my behavioral problems. I tend to be more than a little impulsive when manic, I spend a lot of money when manic and I say and do strange things when manic. When depressed, well you've seen some of that so we won't go into it. Right now I'm manic, but not out of controlled, I'm also on the brink of depression due to many things that the real world, as I call it, is imposing on me. I'll write about these soon, but right now I want to write about my dog, Roux 'b Doux.
Roux, pronounced Rue, is a black standard poodle. She just tuned 10 on October 9th and I've had her for 8 ½ years. That's a long time and frankly I love her to death, well not actually but figuratively. Anyway Roux is a hoot, she has a great sense of humor (note smile in above photograph), and enjoys the company of other dogs, especially greyhounds.
Well, a few months ago Roux decided she wanted to write her own blogs, I know I mentioned this previously. She has done so, I'm not overly impressed with her writing but she's doing all right. Recently she posted about her Australian greyhound friends and how my first greyhound has several Australian greyhounds in his pedigree. She is very proud of this since she thinks of Colt as her lost brother, since he was my first “heart hound.” I'm not going to explain this term, it is self explanatory, suffice to say this is a term I learned from one or two of the greyhound groups I belong to and it is very fitting as a greyhound can worm his way into your heart and steal it, forever, through life and into death.
Colt, Roux's Brother
OK, Roux got her blog. She has done the writing herself, it is much like my style but not at the same time. She writes in a much stiffer style, I don't think she is all that comfortable writing in “people” as she would be if she wrote in canine. But, get this Roux has gotten her own Orble domain. Since there weren't any Poodle Dog domains available, and the only pet one was about alpacas, and she didn't even know what those are until I explained, she didn't want that one. Most of the miscellaneous ones were not of her liking but she did find one under, I believe, relationships, that she thought fit her and her perspective on her relationship with people and other critters who are not Poodle Dogs or Greyhounds, of which she is a member through the auspices of her Australian greyhound friends.
She has chosen www.peopleareweird.net. That's my Roux 'b Doux. Always putting her opinions where her bark is. You see she has never truly understood the human race, and she probably never will, she does honestly think people are weird. She doesn't understand their thinking, their refusal to understand a Poodle Dog's desires and needs and their unwillingness to bow to the, perceived, superiority of said Poodle Dogs and Greyhounds. We have had many debates on this subject and will probably continue to do so.
Roux, Distain Personified
Now, I'd like to ask you, how do you tell your dog, your companion of 8 ½ years that writing a blog is just not what a “Poodle Dog” does, that getting a domain for said blog is just not done? She won't listen, she never has. Getting this stubborn, hard headed canine to listen has always been a trial, and will undoubtedly continue to be one.
It is my unfortunate task to tell her she doesn't and won't have many readers. They will be expecting something similar to the person who was previously writing for the domain. The previous readers won't want to hear what a dog, even one of her caliber, has to say. Whether on relationships or not, they just won't understand the perspective of a Poodle Dog. Again, I ask, just what am I to tell her?
If you have any suggestions I'd greatly appreciate them. I don't want my beloved black poodle dog to think she is being rejected, and I don't want her heart to be broken, but I'm afraid she is in for a huge disappointment, you see, most of her friends haven't even found her current blog, and it is doubtful that they will even now.
So, I'll just have to tell her, her blog just isn't entertaining, funny or even relevant to people. We will have a long discussion on the subject, she will refuse to believe me and she will sulk, but with luck I'll be able to soften the blow and get her to give up on this blog. You see, she insists on using my laptop and I need it, but when she wants it she whines until I give in. What am I to do? I'm canine pecked.
Brain on Fire
For the past six months, probably more, I've been on an emotional railroad, up one day down the next. Many think this is a fun, being without control of your emotions. I know in the 1960's many used drugs to achieve this state, and some still do, but mainly they use drugs to dull their minds.
I'll have to admit that I didn't want to lose control of my emotions, I feared and abhorred the idea, I still do. The thought of dulling my mind was equally abhorrent and continues to be so. Unfortunately both of the states have been achieved, without my willing, or sometimes knowing, participation, over the past 20 years, at least.
Without my knowledge, diagnosis and without my will, I've been unwittingly sliding into the illness called bipolar. This is something I've dreaded over the past few months, that this diagnosis would become a reality, not knowing that it had been true for the past 20 years.
It started when I had to have a second surgery on my back back in 1989, I'd been in a nursing home for several months, and the experience was hellish, then I had the surgery, I was run down, physically and emotionally, the nerve in my back badly damaged, and I almost died on the operating table. How do I know? I felt it when I woke up and there were two nurses and an aide in the room taking my blood pressure every few minutes, a specialist came in to check something, that I don't remember, and my doctors were both scared. This was a hint.
I'd been out of control of my life for several months, in and out of the hospital and nursing home, not capable of taking care of my life, my bills, my home or my career. So it was inevitable, when I got out of the hospital, back at work, living my life, I lost control of my spending habits, something I'd never experienced before. Buying things felt good, and I felt good. Then the depression, the panic and anxiety started. That was my first experience with having Manic and Depressed mood swings and with PTSD. As I've stated in other posts, I'd suffered from depression off and on for years, but not the manic moods, now they were starting.
When I had to file bankruptcy, I regained control, for a few years, at least of my spending. Not my depressions, but I didn't go into a manic phase for a good while. After my car accident, I lost control and went manic again, I spent $4200.00 in three days on a shopping network, buying gems for jewelry I wanted to make, but didn't yet know how to do so. Not the brightest thing I'd ever done. It took several years to work my way out of that hole, but I did, and I didn't slide into Manic again for a while, but did suffer depressed states frequently, some that lasted for years.
I started going into a major manic state at the end of 2007. I had to have the front of my building rebuilt, and I'd decided to open an art gallery. Silly me, but I started spending money, and it got out of hand, completely. After the gallery failed due to circumstances I couldn't control, I, again slid into a depression, but this didn't last long, due this time to my involvement with greyhounds, and their needs. I saw the chance to have an on-line business, one that sold all types of things for dogs. This failed too, mostly I think because I tried to have too many things, didn't finish the web site, plus the economy failing didn't help.
Since those days, I've been up and down, a continuous fight between my manic me and my depressed me. I managed to spend, with the rebuilding of my facade approximately $27,000.00 between October 2007 and February or March of this year. That's less than two years. I was amazed at how stupidly I behaved. Only a maniac spends that kind of money with a very limited income. And the key word is maniac, the word actually means a person who is manic, that would be me. But it wasn't until last week that a doctor finally confirmed something my therapist and I have been discussing for months, I am Bipolar, aka Manic/Depressive. I can experience a manic faze for moments and a depressive one within the same hour, fluctuating several times within a day. This is not fun.
I continue to be amazed at how long it has taken my doctors to realize this, and me, of course, but you see when you are in the midst of being manic you don't really realize it, and when you're depressed all you focus on is your depression and your search out of that dark state, or giving up.
Last week was a low spot in my life, one I hope I never reach again, I wanted to die and was almost willing to make that happen. I admitted myself into the hospital, again. This time a different one, one that specialized in mental illness, not one with just one small unit dedicated to this horrible disease.
Something many people, including my elderly parents, seem to forget, mental illness, in all it's varied and diverse forms, an illness, a disease, several diseases, all about chemical imbalances and genetic disposition, etc. These illnesses run in families, some more than others, but an interesting statistic, every family in the USA has at least one member who has or will have a mental illness, and I suspect this statistic is carried throughout the world, some more than others.
The major problem faced by those of us with mental illness is treatment, diagnosis is a problem and can be a major one, but treatment is still the most difficult for us. Many of the ways to treat these illnesses involve many anti-psychotic drugs, these drugs can cause problems, mainly horrible side effects, in and of themselves. I'm fortunate, I'm now, on two drugs and some very strong vitamins that are not causing me too many side effects, one can and does cause me a major headache if I don't sleep it off, it helps with sleep, and sleep in someone with bipolar disorder, a term I now despise, can be rare and very hard to come by, I need at least six to eight hours of sleep to sleep off this drug and when I don't get it I find that I'm grumpy, have a headache and become manic more easily.
These are two drugs that I was on before I went into the hospital I was already on, so what's the difference? I'm not on one that I was on when I went in, I'm no longer on Diazepam, aka Valium. I've been on Valium since 1999 or 10 years. The dose for more than six of those years was very low, no more than four milligrams, then the doctor upped it to six milligrams a day, or two milligrams three times a day. By the time I went into the hospital this time I had been on 12 milligrams a day, against my own judgment I want to add. I'm not sure when my psychiatrist upped my dose to 12 milligrams but I remember that he did so because of the frequency of the panic and anxiety attacks I was having and the severity of my depression.
Blurred Confusion
Another problem I was having and was complaining about especially to my therapist was my lack of focus, I couldn't concentrate and over the past two or three months this was getting worse and worse, along with my ability to think clearly, function at the levels I'd been used to, for the past few years, my ability to think clearly, to function at a high mental level had been decreasing.
It had never occurred to me that these two problems, severity of depression, fluctuating mood from manic to depression and mental functioning could be attributed to the Valium, but it could be. It hadn't occurred to me until lately that maybe the drugs I was on could be contributing to these problems, but a few weeks ago, it began to be an obsession, I wanted off all my drugs for my depression, all of them, and I decided that this was going to be my goal, it had to happen because I no longer knew what drugs were working and which weren't.
When I went into the hospital, I stated this wish, the doctors there agreed but only discontinued Valium, it took them seven days to discontinue it, with loads of B12 shots, it seems that B12 is used for detox support from many drugs, and Valium is one of the hardest and most dangerous to detox from, alcohol being the top in the most dangerous, at least it used to be, I haven't checked lately. The good news was that just my body was addicted, I didn't care if I took the drug or not, but my body did, it was necessary physically, not emotionally. Mentally it was causing more problems than not.
Valium, I've decided had become highly toxic to my system, it was one of the main causes of the constant shifts in mood, it was the cause of my mental inability to function at the levels I had been used to, and it was the cause of my inability to focus on one thing for any length of time. Am I completely clear of Valium? No, that could take months, but it is happening. Have I had any cravings for Valium? Yes, one or two, but not enough to even tempt me to take any, ugh, to that. Am I functioning at a higher level? Maybe, but not completely. Am I more focused? Almost, not there yet, but achieving more focus daily.
So, the lessons of this post, know your own body, take part in your treatment, if your doctors don't talk to you about your drugs, what they can do, and what they may do to your body and your mental functioning, make them tell you the facts.
If your doctor doesn't talk to you, there might be a problem and you might have to insist that your doctor be more communicative. Take an active part in your treatment, research your drugs so you can know the most common side effects, don't dwell on these, just be aware of them, and what your body is saying when you take them.
The single most important thing, in my opinion, know your body, be aware of what your body says to you daily, hourly, minute by minute. Your body, your brain will always tell you when something is wrong, sometimes it takes us longer to hear, to listen or even be aware, but eventually we will hear, and we must be willing to trust our own instincts.
If your body or mind is telling you that a drug is causing harm, then talk to your doctor, tell him what you feel, make him listen!
Not all doctors want to listen to what you feel about their medical advice, if you have one of those, one who, even after you have insisted he listen refuses to believe that you have knowledge beyond his expectations, it might be time to change doctors.
I don't, and wouldn't, recommend this lightly, but what good is a doctor who doesn't work with his patient? Who isn't willing to believe that, just maybe, his patient might know what's happening in his body more than he does? If you are in a mental state that doesn't allow you to have good judgment about your body or mind, then have an advocate work with you with your doctor if you feel that something isn't right with you and with your relationship.
Finally, don't stop any drugs without the advice and assistance of a doctor who is well versed in withdrawal from that drug. An example of wrong, is my current, but soon to be past, psychiatrist, he recommended that if I wanted to stop Valium, I could do so by cutting the dose in half for three days and then stop. This is extremely poor advice, and without support from B12, and perhaps, other drugs, would have been impossible.
It is my sincere hope that someone learns through these posts. I don't do them just for me, I do them for others who might have the same problems, but different, we are all different, so differences pop up in the way we need treatment.
Next post will give you a look at the inside of a modern (?) hospital that specializes in mental illness and addictions. Stay tuned, it might take some time, focus is still difficult but I'm getting there.
“Blurred Confusion” photography copyright 2009 Janice M. Cali
“Brain on Fire” photography copyright 2009 Janice M. Cali
Painting, “Agitated Confusion” copyright 2001 Janice M. Cali
Painting, “Fire Fronds” copyright 2008 Janice M. Cali
Natalina has inspired me to post some pictures. But not those that I love by other artists, but some that I love that I've had the pleasure of taking. They don't necessarily have great artistic value, but they all have some meaning to me. Maybe a memory of a spring day's drive in a convertible, maybe traveling down a Texas back road after an ice storm. Any number of reasons. I hope you enjoy them, and thank you, Natalina for the idea.
Mostly fall images from East Texas
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September 26th 2009 16:17
In My Face
It's dawned on me recently that although I've developed a stutter and the shakes, not constant but frequent enough to be very irritating, that my life is getting better. The picture is one of my Zeus when he wanted something, or wanted to comfort me, I'm not sure which, but he had this habit of getting right in my face and saying with those big brown eyes, “hey! Mom! What's up with you? Come on let's do something, at least rub my ears.” That was my Zeus. He could help with any mood.
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September 20th 2009 04:29
Merchant's Wife by Boris Kustodiev
I was sitting and eating the last of the watermelon that my sister gave me. It was a small one, it only lasted about seven days, and that was with Jerry helping a little. I love watermelon and tend to eat a lot of it, Jerry is no slouch when it comes to eating watermelon either.
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September 20th 2009 03:57
Roux Grinning Over Victory
I do not believe it, but Roux went and got her own account and her own blog right here on Orble. I told her she was not allowed to have her own account because she was a dog, but she wouldn't listen to me. Partly she was being a stubborn poodle dog and didn't want to use my account for her blog because she felt she wouldn't get credit for her writing.
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September 18th 2009 20:59
Hugs Help Everything
Today I want to take a totally different tact in my story. First, however, an apology for my writing. I seem to be having trouble connecting my brain with my fingers when typing. Sometimes I leave words out or use the wrong word. The typos my spell checker usually catch, but sometimes the wrong word goes in the right place or vis versa, the right word goes in the wrong place. That said, on with the new stuff
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September 16th 2009 21:53
Old Fashioned Books
While going through some of my cookbooks and magazines I came across some very old book type magazines that have some of the weirdest recipes I've ever read. They will say use a 1 cup of grated cheese, but forget to mention what type of cheese. Or 1/2 of 8-ounce can tomato sauce. Little things like that, it's weird. I'm not going to change any of these recipes, I'm going to put them up here exactly as the book has them. After I put it up as written I will make a couple of suggestions to maybe add some flavor. That way you can make them as directed, if you can figure out exactly as written, or you can try my way, which might be strangely different.
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September 16th 2009 20:17
Hug Your Dog, Feel Better
As you can see from the title of this blog I am experiencing three basic emotions, or other feelings. I'll hit the first one, first (how logical of me).
Aching, it is normal when the weather is damp, extremely, coolish but not yet cold. Because of arthritis and fibromyalgia damp, regardless of temperature hurt, hot and humid tend to hurt more than cold and damp, but right now the weather is between the two. So it's running in the mid-80's temperature while we have had rain since, last Friday. A little long to be experiencing this weather, especially when the gloom is a little hard to deal with for such a long period of time
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Comment by Anonymous
on Italian Stuffed Artichokes
I and Me
Food Mage
Just Writing
How I envy you. I live in a climate where it is not, supposedly, possible to grow artichokes. The ones we get here are not all that appealing or they are way too expensive so I don't get as many as I'd like.
Do you find them hard to grow?
Janice