THE EXPENDABLES
August 12th 2010 12:42
Let me start off by getting one thing clear - I love action films. I love action films so much that I have seen 90% of the Action section in my local video store and more straight-to-dvd films than I care to admit. Let me get another thing clear. I love Stallone, Statham and Li. In fact, I’ve seen most of their films, and loved every second of ass-kicking action that they’ve served up to me. So I’m finally sitting through the previews, and the thought suddenly occurs to me, “How in the hell is this film going to live up to the ridiculous hype that’s been building in my head for the last few years?” The panic quickly subsided, as I knew I was being ridiculous. I knew exactly how it would live up to it… by putting the great man himself, Sly Stallone at the helm.
THE EXPENDABLES was never going to win Oscars, but why does that define what is good and what is bad? I’m so sick of pretentious twats turning their noses up at me, the film student who includes DIE HARD as one of her top 5 favourite films, because the films I like aren’t full of long glorious scenery shots or moving screaming matches during a dramatic climax. I like it when shit blows up. I like people being blown up, I like buildings blowing up, boats, cars, you name it, if it blows up, I get a kick out of it. But so often a film can fall in to the tired trap of been there, done that - different actor. THE EXPENDABLES wasn’t made to rake in the dollars at the mid-year box office boom (well, mostly), and it wasn’t made to win Oscars. It was made for the fans for die-hard lovers of action films. And the beauty of it is that the reason it is so great is because it’s made BY lovers of action films.
Perhaps the mercenary angle is not particularly inventive, and there are a lot of characters, so my only disappointment is simply that there is not enough screentime to enjoy all of them. I don’t feel like any part of the film was cheapened, there's plenty of action but enough storyline, and anything that feels slightly tawdry feels more like an inside joke that everyone who knows the players is in on. For example, the bit with Willis and Schwarzenegger (when I was desperately hoping that no one caught the dorky grin on my face) is glorious for anyone who loves them, but possibly pointless to those who don't. Statham and Li each hold their own, unsuprisingly since they're probably the only two real bad-asses of this generations. Austin and Couture prove they belong equally in the world of film, Lundgren reminds you why he’s a legend and Crews has you questioning why he isn’t. Carpenter and Itie don’t make you want to punch yourself in the face with their sublte portrayals of the traditional damsel-in-distress, and to be honest, that’s all I really ever ask for from the non-combat females in my action films. Roberts is such a great son-of-a-bitch and I tip my hat to Rourke, who I’ve never been a big fan of but pulled off one of my favourite moments in the film.
And Mr. Stallone? Well. He is a god of the cinema, so often mistaken for mere muscle. Writer, Producer, Actor, Director, Father, Painter, Artist. And he has a love for his work that I only wish I saw more often in Hollywood. It’s beautiful, admirable and seriously kick-ass. If I had a couple tonnes of gold, I’d carve a statue of him, stick it in my front garden and start a fucking church to honour him.
Verdict? There is no word that can describe how totally completely utterly awesome it truly is. THE EXPENDABLES redefines awesome. If you don’t like it, I don’t want to be your friend.
THE EXPENDABLES was never going to win Oscars, but why does that define what is good and what is bad? I’m so sick of pretentious twats turning their noses up at me, the film student who includes DIE HARD as one of her top 5 favourite films, because the films I like aren’t full of long glorious scenery shots or moving screaming matches during a dramatic climax. I like it when shit blows up. I like people being blown up, I like buildings blowing up, boats, cars, you name it, if it blows up, I get a kick out of it. But so often a film can fall in to the tired trap of been there, done that - different actor. THE EXPENDABLES wasn’t made to rake in the dollars at the mid-year box office boom (well, mostly), and it wasn’t made to win Oscars. It was made for the fans for die-hard lovers of action films. And the beauty of it is that the reason it is so great is because it’s made BY lovers of action films.
Perhaps the mercenary angle is not particularly inventive, and there are a lot of characters, so my only disappointment is simply that there is not enough screentime to enjoy all of them. I don’t feel like any part of the film was cheapened, there's plenty of action but enough storyline, and anything that feels slightly tawdry feels more like an inside joke that everyone who knows the players is in on. For example, the bit with Willis and Schwarzenegger (when I was desperately hoping that no one caught the dorky grin on my face) is glorious for anyone who loves them, but possibly pointless to those who don't. Statham and Li each hold their own, unsuprisingly since they're probably the only two real bad-asses of this generations. Austin and Couture prove they belong equally in the world of film, Lundgren reminds you why he’s a legend and Crews has you questioning why he isn’t. Carpenter and Itie don’t make you want to punch yourself in the face with their sublte portrayals of the traditional damsel-in-distress, and to be honest, that’s all I really ever ask for from the non-combat females in my action films. Roberts is such a great son-of-a-bitch and I tip my hat to Rourke, who I’ve never been a big fan of but pulled off one of my favourite moments in the film.
And Mr. Stallone? Well. He is a god of the cinema, so often mistaken for mere muscle. Writer, Producer, Actor, Director, Father, Painter, Artist. And he has a love for his work that I only wish I saw more often in Hollywood. It’s beautiful, admirable and seriously kick-ass. If I had a couple tonnes of gold, I’d carve a statue of him, stick it in my front garden and start a fucking church to honour him.
Verdict? There is no word that can describe how totally completely utterly awesome it truly is. THE EXPENDABLES redefines awesome. If you don’t like it, I don’t want to be your friend.
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