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Georgia is HOT! Its only March and already I am walking around in my teeny red bikini! I feel sluggish and lazy.My husband is outside working on the landscaping (God bless him!) while I am sitting inside watching Sex and the City DVD's and painting my nails. Its too hot outside to enjoy anything but sunbathing by the pool with a fruity, pink drink. Perhaps a drink with a colorful umbrella. Yes, that will do...
Except that I don't have a pool, or a fruity drink in my hand for that matter! What I do have, though, is air conditioning and an imagination. I can imagine that I am lying by the pool, or on a beach, in an exotic location. I pretend that I am a super rich celebrity who is able to pay someone to rub tanning oil on all those hard to reach spots! Whew...
Back to reality. My husband is almost finished shoveling rocks into the flower beds (I told him that rocks would look better and last longer than mulch...he is going to resent me in the morning when every muscle in his body aches and his arms are sunburned!). My chicken casserole dinner is cooking in the oven. My baby girl is napping. I have finished my To-Do list for today and I am relaxing.
Aaahhhhhhhh (sighing deeply)....life is good, even if it is 500 degrees outside!
September 16th 2008 01:17
Sometimes I dread the blank page so much that I don't even sit down in front of my computer. I know that I should write something, anything, everyday but somehow I cannot seem to overcome my fear of the blank page. It was much easier in college when topics were already chosen for me by my professors. Deadlines were already in place. Now that I am on my own, writing seems like more of a chore than the joy that it used to be for me. I enjoy getting on the treadmill more than I enjoy writing these days.
I think that part of my resistance comes from the fact that I feel slightly lost in the writing field. There are so many jobs for freelance writers, tons of publishers and agents and even more avenues to pursue: poetry, short stories, screenplays, novels etc.. I have been working on several screenplay ideas for months now-tossing ideas around in my head, developing characters and imagining scenes. However, every time I go to write a scene I somehow get bogged down with the enormity of the project and cannot seem to get past a few pages. What is the next scene? Is my dialouge strong enough? Are my characters interesting? My brain gets swamped with the tiny details to the point that I get discouraged and turn to the remote control and ice cream instead. How do I get past the details? I have read many writing books, and yet I can't seem to get beyond the first page.
If I have the knowledge to succeed am I only lacking the determination and discipline? I have a college degree in English, and completed many wonderful writing projects in college to the praise of my Professors, yet I haven't written much of anything since graduation. Do I really need someone standing over me with a deadline and a GPA to motivate me? At what point will I quit procrastinating and accomplish something?
What if this moment, this fleeting moment in time, is all we get in life. What if the future is as flighty as the decisions we make today. What if the happiness that we have right now is the best happiness we will ever get...
I would like to think that my life has counted for something. I would like to believe that I have made a difference. Yet, as I look around at the things and people in my life, I am forced to question whether this is true. Have I really done anything in my life worht while? Yes, I have accomplished things; things that most people would consider worthy of praise. Yet I cant help but think that I should have, could have done more with my life thus far. I start things that I never finish, I daydream about places I will never go and people I will never associate with. I tend to remove myself from the difficulties of life by daydreaming of greener pastures. I have had plenty of opportunities to follow my dreams, yet haven't thus far. Fear, of failure perhaps, has always held on to my heel as I tried to take the first step forward. I could possibly be in a different, more exciting place right now if I hadn't given in to that fear. However, what if this is exactly where I am supposed to be? What if all the seemingly lousy decisions I have made up until this point have lead me to the exact spot where I was destined to be all along? What if I am supposed to have this "Aha!!" moment right now to show me that my life is exactly where it should be?
We always want what we dont have and are rarely satisfied with what we do have. Therefore, instead of daydreaming about the places I dont live or the things I dont have, why not be content with the things I do have. The loving spouse (even if he's not perfect!), the adorable baby (even if she was a bit of a surprise that I might not have been ready for), the chance to start over with any career I choose, the supportive family.....etc., etc. I tend to live with my head in the clouds so I dont have to deal with the crummy weather down below. I am beginning to realize, however, that in order to get ahead in life, you have face the rain head on! I cannot continue to wish I were somewhere or someone else. I must face the realty of life...as unglamorous and unfashionable as it might be sometimes.
This is the only life that we get! Don't waste the precious minutes being unsatisfied. Find the good around you and focus on that...and slowly, your path will emerge and dreams will come true...or something like that I hope!
With a three week old baby at home, I am discovering a whole new meaning of being tired. However, just because you feel tired does not mean that you have to look tired. There are several easy ways to look fabulous even when you are lacking on sleep. So the next time you stay up late to finish that novel or pull an all-nighter to complete that work project, you can leave the house in the morning with confidence and a hint of glamour.
Makeup
[ Click here to read more ]
I am reading the book "Basic Black" by Cathie Black, President of Hearst Magazines, and I cannot put it down. Each page inspires me to become the person I have always wanted and dreamed of becoming, and yet never have.
In life we are faced with many challenges that can derail us from our original path. Some challenges are large, such as job loss, death of a loved one, or a painful relationship. However, most of the challenges that we face are the small, seemingly insignificant things that seem to come up daily. As we struggle through these small challenges, we are robbed of our most precious comodity: time. Time is something that once lost, or wasted on something trivial, cannot be regained. When we waste time on the small things we can never find the time to accomplish the big things. Small things in life could be as simple as watching too much television, chit-chatting about nonsense with friends, or anything that eats away at our day. We must budget our time wisely so that we can accomplish our dreams. How many times have we said to ourselves, "I wish I could do that, but I just dont have the time!" Where does all of our time go? Is it wasted working a dead end job that we hate which leaves us too drained at the end of the day to do anything but zone out in front of the TV? Is it wasted on putting the needs of everyone around us before our own, leaving us with no energy for ourselves. Is it wasted on meaningless activities that, while enjoyable, do not bring us any closer to our dreams?
I challenge you, as I am challenging myself, to take a close look at where all of your time is being spent. When you find yourself saying..."I have no time to accomplish my dreams" it may be time to reevaluate your priorites. You MAKE time for what is important to you, so dust off those dreams and make them your number one priority. Don't waste another minute wasting time.
This morning, as I sat down to sip my morning coffee and slowly wake up, I casually turned on the television to a news station. I often watch the news, or scan the headlines online, to keep up on my current events. This morning, however, I was disturbed by the headline news story of New York State Govenor Eliot Spitzer. Spitzer is resigning his office due to his involvement with prostutes. I have to ask myself two questions: how did the american people overlook this character flaw when voting him into office in the first place...and how does such a powerful man let an addiction get so out of control that it ruins his entire career? Why are our governing officials allowing themselves to be controlled by addictions in the first place. It reminds me that anyone, no matter how great or small, can be affected when they allow themselves to be controlled by something so damaging. Addiction damages relationships, careers, family and health, and it usually starts when we give in to something small. I am reminded to be careful in what might seem like an insignifficant, "experimental" activity; for what starts out small can grow into a monster.
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