Its Possible Fool, Dont Be One (LINK)
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www.theoriesofthought.com
Okay, after the website posted a theory I dug up the other day, I have gotten this overwhelming response on the letter I wrote to someone very special to me, earlier in my life. I think along with my faithful test audience and those that read me all over the world, this particular theory, really hit home and got a reaction that went way beyond me and this woman. Why, I am not sure, but with me being me, I will share with you what many have asked me to do more often, share more of my true self, and my perfectly flawed views, that result in my actions from words and experience I have blessed to write about. Also, this theory is a triple-header, so you will get three things if not more, in one theory. After finishing this, I got this email from someone sharing with me a chain email that had these twenty-one things attached to it. I felt they were relevant to this, so I will bring them up a little bit later because they really hit home with me. But why this is a triple header, easy, it is a personal letter, a theory of my thoughts and something that came from someone not knowing I was writing what I just wrote. And to answer all of your questions in a round about way, the woman I wrote this to is doing fine. We seen each other after my first letter, and the results, well, you will read about later when the theory really takes on things much larger than her and I. So out of respect to all I believe in, I thought, I would share with you, what many of you asked me. Now understand that we really did not speak any more after this letter I sent to her, and after the first letter / email was sent, we spoke briefly on the phone. But it really was not a conversation, because minutes within the conversation with me, I abruptly hung up in frustration because if ever needed at that time to be heard, that was one of them. I desperately needed that moment to recharge and get back to being me and who I needed to be at that time, and she just could not give me what I needed at that time for whatever reason. I really needed it and for her to hear me right then, not just wanted speaking for the hell of it to prove a point. I did not get what I felt I needed from her to keep supplying her with the things she said she was seeking, missing in her life, her desires and needed in and from a man, and I hung up the phone, rudely I might add, which I admit, was immature and not a way to fix any problem we were having or was coming much further down the road. Well anyway, afterwards and feeling still emotionally passionate about the situation, I wrote to her this letter in response of our last interaction. I was not doing it in a pre-meditated way, but in a way that I knew at that moment, I was as real with myself, as I could ever be. That is one reason I enjoy writing like this. It is raw, emotional, emotionless, and I get to look back on my future, in the things I have done and wish to do. I will also tell you that after writing this and sending it to the site and my professional team, they strongly advised me to not put this up. They said it would be suicide for my image, show a weak side of me, or a side that is contradictory to my beliefs in staying with something to the end. Well, to me, this was the end, or on its way there, and seeing how I felt I could learn from this to hopefully teach it to someone else, I did what I did. And if nothing else, if I ever got a forum like I have now, I could reflect upon it later, like I am doing now and share it. The majority of you have said nice things about me in the way I handled this choice or situation, and I thank you, but in all seriousness, I deserve nothing, for I am the messenger that is delivering this message, taught to me by many. If you wish to thank or blame anyone, thank my teachers, mentors, support group and handlers, seriously. I recall and remember my grandmother telling me when I was younger, "There are many choices we have the privilege on making in our lives, but five of them, if not more, are out of our control. We all are created equal, but after that creation is created, what separates and divides us, is our love for self and things we trust and believe in. But the things we can not control are;
1) Birth, or should I say, whom we are born from.
2) Death, and when it will happen.
3) Family.
4) Someone else and their choices and decisions.
5) Who you fall in love with.
What you can control is how you handle it, once your or this choice has been made for you, and how you react to this action". So anyway, this is the letter I wrote, and hope it helps someone one day, when they feel and felt the way I did, way back when. Thanks for joining me again, this one is kinda short but potent, but long enough to display my level of passion for my desire to love and be loved, unconditionally. So enjoy it, as I hope you also do, the moment -.
My Dearest XXXXXX,
I want you to honestly know something first and foremost, this, is by far, one of the most passionate and more than likely, the bravest thing I have ever done or HAD to do. Last night, well yesterday my dearest love, was incredible. It was like a movie in many ways, because it seemed like every element in the world, came at me in slow motion when I needed them to. I know you like watching reality television, well, to me, there was no need to find the remote on this one, I was center stage and don't need to Tivo or record this. After finalizing one of my last big deals with people I truly trust and deserved to be there with me, we celebrated in a hotel suite with tears in our eyes. We have all worked very long and hard, and for some reasons, it was like the ultimate orgasm, between peers that have intimately bonded for reasons beyond them. But this was not an orgasm, more like a overly stimulating emotion. It was over, years of planning, sacrificing and more, all finished, because we traveled this path, together. Now this path we traveled, was not easy. There were times we fought, cried, argued and more, but our foundation was strong, like I felt you and I were, when we start building it for the future. So as I was driving home from The Fairmont in The City to change and get ready to go work for free at the spot, I felt alone and surrounded at the same time. All I could do is think of you not being there right by my side, and watching the many cars fly past me, in a hurry to go where they felt they needed to be. All I could do is remind myself why you are there in thought and not in my heart and soul, and for whatever reason, where you were at, I hope you were doing whatever you was doing, for reasons that could benefit us. Last night was a culmination on why I do things, the results of them and my contribution towards them. You know I told you before, when you told me about, "The Stable Thing", and me, "The 3 Women Getting At Me", that when I turned them down, it was not out of obligation to you or our relationship. Yes I am faithful to you and us, but this time, something happened inside of me, that I felt and now feel, you played a major part in. When I refused or humbly decline to follow them to their house to wreck the home we were building and living in, metaphorically, it was done with the knowledge on where I have been, what I have seen and where I felt 100% positive, in the direction I knew I could and needed to travel to be successful and happy. What I am doing right now, in this moment, writing this to you, is way beyond the feeling I had then when you did not let me finish explaining my reaction or invitation from them to, join them. You instantly assumed, based on your imagination, past or whatever, I was throwing something in terms of making you worry or wonder in your face to boost my macho status or hide a insecurity inside of myself. . After you realized you were completely way off on my comment, and that I was actually telling you about this level of maturity I had personally reached and deeply proud of, you then reflected on your patterns of the past, and maybe, the present, as also in the choice of males, that would insult you like that with a weak ego boosting statement that means nothing to a real man that adores his woman. I say that example because this letter I am passionately writing to you is done out of respect, honesty and something much more powerful and bigger than I am or that moment. If you do anything in your life in my opinion, this letter here, is very vital to you, me and others you may come in contact with, and those you do not. As the stream of salty tears coming down my face that is a tell-all on how I really feel right now, it somewhat feels a bit normal in writing to you something like this, I hope you do not speed read and deeply feel what I am saying from my soul and heart, forever and a day. You asked me once, "Have I ever felt like this with another woman", or "if I fall for women this easily". The answer is, no, I do not and have not, until this moment I am enjoying in pain and sadness. That is something you can not appreciate because simply, you did not know me or my past, until you met me and I told you that I would like to include you in my future. But yes, on another level, I have been like this and here before, but the last couple of days since we last talked and I heard the silence and I rudely hung up on you and us, I am more sure, focused and blessed to have this feeling of lost or a void you have filled. I thank you for that, seriously. I feel as though this process of cleansing my heart, is more passionate than I have ever witnessed, and that alone, means something to me and how I view you which in turn, validates my vision on how I see things to myself, in viewing my partner for life. Once again, it was nice to see you last night, and I thank you for allowing me to see what I just learned I was looking at for the first time, again, once I regained my sight. Because yes, love is blind to t hose that are looking for it, but I seem to feel and see more, when I close my eyes and let it find or see me for who I am and hope to be.
Before I seen you last night and after getting calls from my associates in the same circle as me, informing me that you were out on the town, being you, I somewhat felt numb, hurt and overjoyed, all at the same time. I never expected to see you, but ca not say I was surprised. You looked good. Sweet, sexy, strong, vulnerable and drunk or almost there and it made sense in a confusing way, why I was meant to see, what I was seeing. Upon glancing at you, so many different things went through me, that I actually was able to feel, acknowledge, justify and understand each thing that kept coming across my mind and through my heart and body. It was euphoric and terrifying at the same time, I was IN LOVE, and every reason I did what I did with and without you, all of a sudden made sense. Its not that it really made sense to anyone else, but to me, a lot of pieces came together on what I am doing, why and just made me respect the path I am blessed to be traveling down, and the ones I am quickly about to abandon for its sake and my own. After hearing what others out on the town was telling me out of nothing but respect, I took it all with a grain of salt because simply, I do not know their intentions. I am also dealing with a work environment that is corrupt, stimulating and more, and then still thinking about my 19 year day, coming to a close earlier when I was feeling like the choices I made many years back, were right for me, others and all I represent. I then looked at you looking at me, and knew what I knew, without having to learn this lesson that was forcing its self into my mind. Right before you came in, I was in a conversation about love, marriage and more, with two gentlemen I highly respect. They did not know it, but I was actually talking about you and I, and then when you appeared right in front of us, I realized that I was in the moment. When you came in tumbling and somewhat stumbling with your friend, they had no clue on who you were, because you have never met them and they do not know about you and I as a couple. They know I am involved and I am in love with this beautiful looking woman they have heard about through voice, my actions and reasons for doing what I do, but they did not know it was you. This was my "Driving Mrs. Daisy Moment", because I was now looking in my rear view mirror like Morgan Freeman, and seeing something that I respected, but knew, was something I couldn't relate to any more. So as you and your friend crisscrossed through the room on your way to the bathroom, I seen the two gentlemen shake their head, and whisper to themselves, why they are happy they are with whom they selected before seeing you and your friend, and others like you that are labeled by their actions, look like a Saturday statistic. But as we picked back up on our original conversation, they remained observant, captivated and obliviously to this moment they were just a major part of, in a minor way. As they were sharing with me on why and who they are, they were addressing things that were just naturally happening and things I wanted and needed to hear for myself. So like never before, I was paying attention and not just hearing what they had to say, but listening to why they were saying what they were saying. This moment I was in, was overpowering where I wanted it to be, and it felt so good to submit to it, to learn what I was suppose to learn at that time without forcing it. After hearing you tell me that you were just in the area and innocently just wanted to say hello, I believed you, but still wanted to know, is that the truth because I know it is true, or because I want to believe you are so in love with me that you do not know it and keep fighting this love I am at peace with? I even thought about if you were being genuinely or cosmetically true, looking at this situation like e those on one of your reality shows. I was wondering if you were beating around the bush or throwing out what you needed to be dished back to find your way on this road of whatever. After then hearing you tell me that you do not have a problem getting attention with your shoulders back, breast out and showing me this real life facade, something clicked inside of me. You see after hearing you tell me you were out at the same club where people were calling me and telling me you were there without you knowing it, and then hear you say good-bye to me, what threw things off balance to a even keel, was the way you were trying to hold on to my arm, and have me be the gentleman I am, by either holding you up because you were a bit too tipsy, and or grabbing a hold to this security device that has your best interest at heart while I was escorting you to your car. I think when I seen your drunk friend scream and make a fool out of herself by yelling and driving her car on the wrong side of the street, did it for me. What sent me over the edge was her then yelling our names out on this half full public street in front of a place I am working for free to gain knowledge on how to do what I am doing on a larger scale, for my family and future. That is when a lot came into vision, for more than just me and our future. I have never been so embarrassed, ashamed, proud and sure on anything in my life, and I must tell you, if you did not see what that moment was all about, it is not meant for you to learn that lesson at this time, and may all be with you. I have been there, and that place, it nothing nice, and not for me. That was some shit, and I really hope you never put anyone or me in that position, ever again. You came to my job, and if someone did that to you, how would you feel? I can only assume the rest of your night was something else. I ca not even imagine where it needed to go for your own sake in my opinion, and I want you to know deeply, I actually cried for you last night. Without a single tear coming down my face, I cried, with a look on my face that kept changing more than my emotions going through this moment that seemed to last a lifetime in writing this letter to you. If like never before, at that moment, I knew I cared, loved you and love myself enough to leave you alone. And when I turned away from you, I knew I wasn't turning my back on you, but simply, facing the direction I know for a fact, will make me happier than the one I just left
Now maybe this can be called many things in the way I am handling it, but just know, I love you deeply and will be as real and honest as I have ever been in this mini-theory, disguised as a love letter, no one will ever read. This shit right here nigga (smile), that I am writing, is too passionate and intimate to me. I ca not share this with anyone until I am strong enough to take on this weakness I have for my personal love for you, and I can not just trivially share this with just anyone lusting for something to read or hear. I am not even sure I will be able to finish writing this before feeling a strong feeling for you, and calling you to speak to you, the person and woman I have the highest respect for. I am not sure I can finish this because all of these things in my mind that keep coming faster than the tears I keep wiping away, are making me remember, what I seen in you when I first gazed over your beautiful self. I am not even sure I can tell you how I really feel, let alone, my unconditional tight circle of few that know who I am with and without you. My friends and support group love you. The adore you because simply, you are a part of me. This is the shit you feel and can not explain to those that wonder if this feeling is true or possible. This is the essence of my being, and it is tearing me apart, as I pull, man-up and put this thing together to share with you out of love. This is why I worked those long nights. Went out on a limb to grow my own trees. The way I loved you was bigger than me just loving you, it was something out of my control. This is what I am all about, dreamed about, or thought I was becoming with you. Why I endured the pain and still smiled. Why I accepted the ridicule and absorbed it long enough to properly channel my frustrations into something positive. This is why I took the abuse and short lived joy I am constantly doubted, tested on and more by more than just the world, but by me when I have these civil wars on what and what not, to do. To me, and I am speaking on what you told me about the man that hurt you in the past, this is double that to me in my opinion because simply, this is me and who I feel based on what you told me about how you felt, does not compare, because you should know how this feels. I do not give this part of me out to anyone. You were the first, and I am not saying that to make you feel bad or good, because the time we were together was not that long to many to feel the way I did, and they may never know what I am talking about. But I am saying that because for some reason, it felt like forever when we were together, and if you knew it or not, I was deeply serious on the things I told you I was about and was becoming. Hell, I even proved it in times I did not have to or even tried to do. I was just being me. This is what I was built for. Not the fame, the glamour or surface shit, that shit is for television or entertainment. I am talking about life, and the things that make the freakish meeting or unforeseen encounter, a 30 plus-year marriage. I was brought up on this family shit. The picnics, family nights and all of that boring corny shit many love, but hide when they know the difference between whats real, and what you are trying to make real. That is what "Rocks My World", not how many "Rocks" I can show the world that means nothing to me, by putting a materialistic Harry Winston, Tiffany or Shane Company "Rock" on your finger that signifies my love and desire for you materialistically. This feeling I have now, goes beyond why I slept in my car in a public park before you met me, to build many homes throughout the country in gated communities in its aftermath. Its why I write, speak, talk and walk the way I do. Its the reason for the reason we ask the questions in our own mind. Its love. It is why I worked for free to get rich in knowledge. Why I lied to myself to find the truth on who I knew I was destined to be. Why those scars you see me hiding when I take off my clothes to make passionate and incredible love to you in my mind and opinion, are there. I went through all of that without you, so I could one day be with you, and all I have learned, gained and willing to share with you, unconditionally for us, not just me or you. Its why I look like a fool to fools that do not have a clue on why I am acting like a fool. They are the fools to me, because they have no clue on what it is to feel like this because they never felt what this fool they are laughing at, is crying over and writing about. This fool is crying over love and his one missed again chance to have it with one person forever. Its not that you are hurt or upset, but maybe mad at your choice on why you thought this time was yours, and you got it wrong, again, and it is out of your control. This is that shit that makes you wonder if you are asking for too much, are you who you are or are your standards too high and if they are truly, realistic or possible. This is that shit that if my Theories Of Thought.com venture goes worldwide in the mainstream, that I need to share it. I need to let someone else read this because I am more than sure, this can help someone, somewhere, someway for whatever reason on whatever they may be going through or in themselves. But once again, I am not doing it for me, I am doing it to share and help, and do my part in representing the very thing, I felt for you, love. Its kind of an acknowledgment to Love its self, and something I can say that I was proud to witnessed, if I die tomorrow. Also, but you know me, I will do my absolute best not to draw this letter out or give you one of my signature stories or theories, and simply, try to say my peace, so there will be no more silly wars between us and serious civil wars within ourselves in the future. And one last thing before you get into this letter, please know this. Love like this, is truly and honestly possible. It is possible for someone to love you this much to not love you any less. How do I know, I am living and doing it. I am not reading about it, writing about or hearing it second hand, I am living it. What I m writing is a fraction on how I feel. Hell, my laptop battery might go out if I really explained to you what love means to me. So just know, this type of love is possible, even if you never knew it or select to believe it was what you are witnessing. I am not trying to convince you or sell you on something to make a point. All I am saying and asking you to think about, is this, is it even remotely possible? Either way, all I am asking you to do this last and final time, is give me the benefit of the doubt on this one, and do your very best, to listen to what I am saying to you right now. Because yes my dear, in my opinion, it is possible to love like this. I know for a fact, because I am feeling it right now. Thanks.
You see my dear, the photo on the refrigerator is a really big deal. It may not seem like much and in all reality, its not, but one day you will understand, why it is there and you put it there and not something else. Same with the black dress incident, or why you did not realize how important it was for me to see you before going into my meeting to feel like Superman taking on The Villains. Why should you have thought these things were important to me, because you are important to me, and I never ask for things I already have, only ask for things I need to feel better about being me. No one is saying you are good or bad, what is being said, when you feel things most times, it makes you do things that matter, and those are the little things that make big things happen. I am in love with you, why, I do not know, but after you say this, blame that and throw in something else, at the end of the day, you are honestly my one chance that got away, that I hope to get another one, on finding what I was meant to have. This is that magical shit you dream of, and truly hope, you get a chance to have it, if you miss it again when it appears right in front of you and you are ready to embrace it. But this was mine and I am not saying it was yours, so please, understand what I am sharing with you so you wont miss it if you see something like this again, in your future. So beyond my own imagination, I can not stop thinking about things to show you how much you mean to me. Do you need proof, then think about what you are doing right now, and why? The thing is this, there is no way in my opinion, I can be the man I know for a fact I am, not my opinion, but a fact that I am, and strive to be, with the way I feel you have been treating us, not just me. Its not that do not I love you beyond the word, its because I can not knowingly and willing, trust you to represent me, what I am all about, my grandmother, my mentors, more and God to the world in good faith. If I really did, would not you hate me down the road if we get there, for being that cruel and selfish motherfucker that was not what he was, and you needed for him to be for you, your future, family and more? I mean dam, someone has to be the example or exception, and I have always been ready to take on that responsibility, hell, I have worked my entire life preparing for this and moments like this. This and that is why I do and live the way I do. I am seriously in it to win it. Nothing more, nothing less, and I will do anything for the things and people I love, including you, unconditionally and forever. I am just built like that. I do not care what anyone says, if I believe in it, I will hurt and die defending it, because it in the end, it is a part of me and I do not wanna die, any part of me. Not yet at least, I got too much work to do, and as long as God gives me a forum, I will do my best not to fail him, what I represent and believe in. Now, I am not blaming you for anything, saying this or that was good or bad, and can say that honestly to God. I am only speaking on what I know I can handle, and how I know I need to be handled to build what I know I can build, maintain and excel upon with a partner I can count on. I am far from perfect, and honestly, know that. I have issues like everyone else, but know my limitations. Do not or stop getting defensive on me right now and just hear me out right now, like never before because if never like before, this is as real as it gets and maybe it can help you one day soon in your next relationship. Based on what I know and have been through, from my view, experiences and angle, the only destination on this journey we are traveling, is all bad. And I do not mean as bad meaning good, I am talking about bad being worse than you can ever imagine. This shit right here is like a cancer. It can spread all throughout your life like love on the other end, if you do not stop it in time. That thing we had c an turn against us, and instead of respecting each other for who each is, we will start losing respect for ourselves and start going against the very reason, we got together in the first place. Am I strong, yes. Sensitive, yes, we all are, in different ways. But that does not make someone right or wrong, it just makes them who they are.
Now you may not understand what I am saying or think it is not that serious or me being super duper sensitive and weak or being overly dramatic, I am not! Trust me, even though you have told me you have trust issues, one day you will see and feel my words in your heart, if you learn this lesson I have learned many times before, because darling, we all have them, welcome to the club. What I have learned is that no one is perfect, we all have issues. What the trick is in my opinion, is to not look at the issues, but avoid the problems that don't have to be there. Life is hard enough, why make it more difficult? No one wants to get hurt. No one wants to be the bad guy, unless it is for a good or great cause or something they feel it is worth sacrificing their life and perception of them for. No one really wants to fail. But I can tell you this, if things remained like the way they are and were going with us and me not do or say anything about it, many years from now if not sooner, you will not have any respect for me, none, think about it. I mean really, could you see yourself loving someone that would put up with the way you are doing things? If so, then I am sorry, I had you mixed up, and I will take that as my mistake in understanding your definition. But I say that because simply, I would have then, lost respect for myself in allowing myself and you to be how I knew from experience, we would turn out unless I stopped this unhealthy madness at the core. Now maybe our opinions may differ and if so, thats cool, I am not debating that or this. I am not saying I know everything or right all of the time. But the way this is looking, from the things I have seen and been through, this is a train wreck waiting to happen. My mentor always said and told me yesterday while we were talking after my meeting, "One plus one equals two, unless something is added or subtracted from the equation. Remember that". What I am saying is that I simply, do not care who is right and who is wrong, I am done with us, not you or me, not together. If you know me or anything about the smallest part of me, please know that this is the best I can do right now, as I have thought hard and deep about this and how to deliver it so I felt and prayed, you took your time to read and absorb this really slowly to get what I am saying to you on every level. I am done! I wo not explain this or say this or that about what I did, what you did or anything, it does not matter. I am not he, and you I have learned, are not she for me. This is not personal or a reflection on what it is we want it to be or thought it could become or subliminally knew would happen and what it was. Hell, if you did not really care about me and was just using me for whatever reason, I am cool with that over thinking this is what you thought a relationship needs to succeed. I mean if you do not know, you do not know, and I ca not fault you for that. But from what I seen and heard, you understood things the way I did, and we were trying to build something special here, I must have gotten it wrong if this is how you think things should go. We simply, are wrong for each other and have no chance in my opinion, to even get anywhere near the track we need to be on to have a long term, healthy relationship to model a family around. Lets really let this go because I have come to grips with it, and go on with our lives and the things we trust and believe in. I am not trying to say the last word or gain one up or anything. I want this to end peaceful. I wish you the best, completely understand however you may feel about me, and accept it unconditionally, I am sure I earned it. But I am honestly done, and I know me, and know that to be sending this to you right now at the pinnacle of my professional career in search of a lifelong partner to humbly obey and be faithful to, I have seen enough and could really care less on how it sees me, its not about love anymore. This is common sense. So how I see things going from this point forward, is without you and you me as one. So sorry for the time invested, and I swear to you, there will never be anything said or thought of, in a negative way towards you and all you represent. I swear to you as a man of my word, as well as the man that was involved in us, when we were really together.
Good luck and know, you are loved. Also, I want nothing back that I gave you, and I am not implying, you were even thinking that, this was not a game, this was my life, so stop being defensive, its not about that. I am just making sure, this is our last reason to interact. Good bye, I hope you find your driver you can trust to steer you and him on the path of happiness. Stay true to your friends and family, and mainly, to yourself. I wont tell you how to act, what I advise or anything because simply, if I thought it would help, I would have succeeded by now and would not be writing this good-bye letter of unconditional love to you. But I love you, never settle my sweet, because I am living proof, sometimes, love hurts when you try to get it and to be loved when you got it, utopia and well worth the pain you witnessed before it. So if anyone ever tells you that maybe I didn't love you enough, the timing was off or I wasn't really concerned about you, I wouldn't think about me, because I am LOVE and my track record speaks for its self. I love you enough to not see you or us hurt in the future. If anyone questioned my devotion towards you, I, in my opinion, would look at them and honestly think about how you and them really define love and what it may mean to different people when they feel it, the way they do. I love both of us enough, not to get permanently injured but maybe temporarily hurt. I love enough to not have what love means to me hurt, because of me not protecting it with what I know based on my experiences. So are things bad between us, no, not at all, they are actually great. This was a lesson for both of us, and hopefully, we both learned something or a lot on what to do, and what not to do, the next time we face something like we had, if it ever comes along again, the way I seen it. This is a road I do not mind traveling down, because the sights and things you feel and smell along the way, are legendary. This is the shit I am sure, will make me one of the most influential writers of my generation if I get it out there the correct way. I say that because my heart is in the right place, even when my mind might not be sometimes, and my intentions are to unconditionally love, not selfishly hurt. There is really know way for me to prove it to anyone, I know that, and I am not trying to. But what I can do is do things like write things like this to you out of respect, or become better at being me, to hopefully, be a great father, writer, partner and man. So know with you at this moment, I know if anyone feels this without readying this, maybe I did my little part in spreading the word and joy of love in a text for people to absorb, comment on and feel and keep to themselves when they share it with someone special. You see darling, the street I felt we was going down, is dangerous. I have been there before and barely got out with all of my faculties. That street can really warp you in my opinion. Make you cold, sterile and constantly in a fight you are having with a ghost that is not even there. So that is why I can not follow you down their today or tomorrow. I thought I could, so know I am doing you a favor in sparing you the agony of my failure to live up to my end of the bargain. I told you I would do anything for you that I felt I had a chance to defeat, and I mean that to this day. What I am telling you is that I can not win that fight you are starting to promote like Don King. Who I feel I will be when or if we get out on the other side, is not the person you or anyone needs to see. I know, I have seen him before, and he is nothing nice. But now after barely coming out of that side and down that street the last time I went down there, I have learned my lesson. So I have no problem, I mean no problem under any situation, to keep walking down this avenue of love daily. I will if I could or can, do it more often if not sooner, because one day I know for a fact, I can stop walking, stop and build a house on this street I find so beautiful. I hope you build your home soon, because this neighborhood, is the elite community of love to live in, even if you do live alone in it sometimes. And why do I not want to talk to you, easy, I have listened to you openly and unconditionally, and did my best to answer every one of your wants, needs and things that did not pertain to me or us. And I simply have been trying to the best of my abilities to talk to you, not at you, but converse on ways to create this lifelong marriage of marriage, and help us help others forever if I was indeed, the one for you and you me. And if you know it or not, I never really got heard, until now, hopefully, and I truly hopes it helps you or someone else that feels this from you one day. But it is too late for us as a couple, but not over for either one of us, with someone else. So be safe and good, and as usual, I deeply love you, I simply love you, in spite of yourself. Thats why I am letting you, us and this go. Thank you for all that you have given to me sweetheart, good and bad, I will cherish it. And remember, do not be fool my love, its possible. Enjoy The Moment
Anthony Douglas Gere
That was the letter, the end of this theory and my mindset, so thanks for reading and see ya on the next go around, if there is one. And like I told her, let me for the record beg and ask you to just think about something for a minute, and give me the benefit of the doubt on this one. Love is what it is, its not what we make it. Yeah, it is easy to say, the timing was off, it was not meant to be and everything. And yes, people do come into our lives for a reason, season or a lifetime. But how many times do we need to do something, before it starts doing something to us is my question? How much do you love a person when you are in love with other things that may jeopardize that love? What is your definition of love? When you love, is it all about you or the love? Can you, have you and will you love someone so much, that you hate the things you are doing or becoming from it? I do not know the answer, but know, when you are in love the way I was when I felt this feeling that made me into what I did not know I was about to become, this is what I did. Did I run from love or to it? Maybe I was wrong, maybe right. So was I a fool? Did I play it smart? Who knows and who cares in the end. Because when you strip it all down, its all about choices my friend. Its all about the choices, that lead to the actions, responsibilities, perception and living up to all that entails. You can not make a whole person out of two incomplete halves, someone very wise told me, so love yourself, and then one day if you are lucky, you may be able, to love another. And never place a price tag or value on what someone does or gives to you, place the value on the things that are priceless, like life, love and things you can not explain that they did for you. Do not relish the car, purse, dinner, gifts and more shit that can be bought and replaced by many. Appreciate the fact that someone thinks you are worth the unique gift, no matter what it might have cost, and that what they gave to you, something you may not have had, special. Appreciate that what they gave to you, was given in the hopes it would bring something special to the meaning and moment, not the selfish expectations on what you had to give them, that money could never buy back. So let us finish this theory off by coming full circle, or ending it where we stared it, to hopefully, start something again. Flashback to the beginning of this theory when I quoted my grandmother by telling you that, "There are many choices we have the privilege on making in our lives, but five of them, if not more, are out of our control. We all are created equal, but after that creation is created, what separates and divides us, is our love for self and things we trust and believe
in. But the things we can not control are;
1) Birth, or should I say, whom we are born from.
2) Death, and when it will happen.
3) Family.
4) Someone else and their choices and decisions.
5) Who you fall in love with.
What you can control is how you handle it, once your or this choice has been made for you, and how you react to this action". Thanks for exploring with me again and remember, love, is a powerful thing, relish it, like you do your life! And ask yourself, is love or living your life like this possible? And answer yourself once you hear the voices inside of you say, "It's Possible Fool, Do not Be One!" Oh, I almost forgot to give you the 21 things that was sent to me when I finished this theory. Here they are, and this was a bit longer than most theories, but in my opinion, well worth the read. Thank you. Here they are:
1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
4. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it..
5. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Believe in love at first sight.
8. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
11. Don't judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slowly but think quickly.
13 When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.
16. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
17.. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
18.. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
19. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
21. Enjoy The Moment
