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Inside the mind of a superspy - by JaneJane

Upgraded

December 23rd 2006 12:05
Kids, I've been upgraded, so I'm moving my story to my new url: www.asiojane.com.

Hope you come with me to my new website and continue enjoying my memoirs.

Janejane.



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Part 20 - Beer

December 8th 2006 13:28
La was the first to go in search of Re.

It was daytime as he waddled out of the ship, his eyes squinted, stung by the first rays of non-artificial light he’d seen in thousands of years.

Stepping away from the ship’s exhaust funnel he waddled on to the footpath and down the hill to a busy street called Parramatta Road.

The crinkled parts of his jumpsuit (armpits, crotch and crack) were chafed from the short walk.

On the corner was a building. Through the windows La could see people sipping drinks and staring back at him. He found the door and entered.


There was noise, horrible jarring electronic noise of a man speaking monotonously repeating names again and again in different order. Suddenly he became highly agitated and spoke faster, and faster. Men in the room were cheering him along, yelling, excited. There was one great “hurrah!” before everyone was again quiet and calm. The electronic voice instantly sedated.

“Hello, Santa’s come early,” said a man. He stood behind a counter filling glasses with frosty, slowly bubbling liquid.

“Excuse me,” said La with a smile, “I wonder. Could I have one of those?”

“Certainly my dear, make your way around to the Ladies’ Bar and someone will be out to serve you.”

“The Ladies’ Bar?”

The man pointed to a door with a sign – Ladies’ Bar.

“But I’m not a lady,” La muttered and pushed his way through to the other room.

It was quieter, music played. Two women sat drinking the bubbly drink and eating small brown things. Casting aside their strange looks, La approached the bar and waited for service.

Soon enough the man from the front arrived and asked La what he’d like to dink.

“I’ll have a glass of that bubbly brew everyone else is drinking.”

“One beer coming up.”

Rolls of skin merged with the bar as La leant against it. “Tell me why you couldn’t serve me in the other room?”

“You ever been to a pub before?” the man asked.

La scanned the room, “No, I haven’t.”

The man finished pouring the beer and sat it in front of La. “That was the gentlemen’s bar. It is customary for ladies on their own to sit in here, the Ladies’ Bar.”

“But I am not a lady,” La smiled.

The barman found this to be very funny.

“A good one miss, very funny, and because this is your first visit to a pub this one’s on the house.”

La was confused, “Where is the house?”

Laughing again the barman returned to the other room.

La picked up the drink and sniffed it. The glass was icy cold, the smell intense.

He took a sip, it was mostly froth.

He took a bigger sip and swallowed. Bitter, icy bubbles swirled around and down his throat. On hitting his stomach the chill was instantly absorbed and spread through his body.

He raised the glass again and took a gulp. Again the swirling bubbles and instant chill, but shortly after the pleasure came the pain. Dull at first, it began just behind his eyes, and then grew in strength and size with alarming speed.

In agony La rubbed his forehead; his watery eyes squinted with pain.

One of the women noticed, “Take it easy love.” She said, approaching him. “You shouldn’t drink so fast. Now you’ve got a ice-ache, but don’t worry, it won’t last long.” She rubbed La’s temples and the pain vanished.

“Thank you,” he said.

“Any time, love. Why don’t you come sit with us? We’ll take care of you.”

Squatting over a very small and uncomfortable chair La introduced himself to the women, Margaret and Myrtle.

“I’m looking for a friend, he’s been missing for some time.”

“What does he look like?” asked Myrtle.

“He looks like me, only quite a bit smaller and he’s got darker hair.”

Margaret held back a smile, “You’re not from around these parts are you?” she asked.

“No,” said La, sipping some more of his beer, “you can tell?”

“From Melbourne are you?”

“That’s a long way from here is it?”

“Yes, quite a way.”

“I’m from a bit further than that,” said La empting his glass.

“My shout,” said Myrtle, and went to the bar. La looked at the ceiling, it was strange, it seemed to spin ever so slightly.

“So how long are you in town?” Margaret continued questioning.

“Oh, we live here now.”

“We?”

“My friends and me.”

“Really? How interesting. You must come here again and bring your friends. Perhaps you could entertain us with a number or two.”

Myrtle returned with the beers. La sipped his; he had no idea what Margaret was talking about. Two is a number.

La sat in silence and finished his beer. There was a terrible rumbling inside his stomach. It must have been loud because Myrtle said, “The Loo’s out the back love,” and pointed to another door with a sign on it – Toilet.

“Thankyou,” La stood unsteadily and staggered toward the sign.

Through the door was a paved courtyard, at the end was a small room. Somehow La got to it, squeezed his way through the door and closed it behind him. This was nothing like a toilet. There was a convoluted seat with a hinged black top that opened and closed, inside the seat it was hollow and had water at the bottom.

La put the seat down and sat on it, waiting for the computer to initiate the bowel extraction. His stomach grumbled again, this time it didn’t stop, it grumbled and growled and an unusual sensation made its way through his intestines and down toward his backside. The grumbling settled but the sensation intensified.

Without any warning the small room filled with a most unpleasant noise and La’s hefty body rose into the air. It crashed through the roof of the toilet and he flew high into the sky.

“That’s unusual,” he whispered.
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Part 19 - Borenore

November 30th 2006 11:51
A steady stream of cars drove out to Borenore. I sped by them, using the oncoming traffic lane. Not far past the town everyone turned off to a dirt road. Cars parked in an empty paddock to the side of an old farm house. Beyond the paddock were trees and beyond them I could see another empty field as I pushed through the crowd of onlookers. Most of the people were safely hidden in the shadows; some were brave enough to venture into the knee high grass of the second paddock. Everyone looked toward the sky. I checked my watch; it was a little after ten-o-five.

From the edge of the shadows and I looked up. Two bright lights moved slowly across the clouded night. Four smaller lights buzzed around more quickly. Were these the lights of some type of mind ray or were they from something much more alien? I stood near a man and a woman. The woman giggled lightly. Holding hands, they walked, hesitantly, into the empty field of grass.

The couple reached the middle of the paddock, the light from the clouds reflected back down to them. They continued holding hands and walked a little further. I gasped along with the rest of the crowd, the man and woman disappeared, completely.

I ran into the field, excited. This was why I was here, this was what I had hoped to find, something completely unnatural with no logical explanation.

I got to the spot where the couple had vanished; there was nothing unusual about it. I took one step forward and everything changed. It was no longer night. The field took on a burning glow, like at the end of a rainy day when the western horizon has cleared. It was hot. The grass of the field had been soft and fresh, now it was dry and brown, ready for fire. A crowd of people, perhaps 50 or more, stood in the middle of the paddock, surrounding a strange piece of machinery - the mind ray? Sitting on top of the strange mechanical thing was an ancient woman; she wrote in a book that was open on her lap. Two guards stood to either side of the machinery. They were strange to look at; half man, half woman. I took a step toward them and they disappeared. The paddock was again dark. The grass was fresh. The people, the machinery and the old woman were gone. For a moment longer the lights continued to flash across the sky. I stood silently watching, then they were extinguished.

I saw shadows moving near the bushland on the other side of the field. I ran to them. From a distance I saw the figure of a person stand-up and run to the trees. I followed.

I became aware of several more people running in front of me, away from me. I ran faster and got closer to one of them. I jumped forward and knocked them to the ground. It was a young man, average and ordinary. He pushed me off and tried to run away but I held onto his foot. He tried to kick me but only succeeded in helping me bring him to the ground again. He twisted and landed on his back with a thud. I scrambled on top of him and pinned him down.

“Who are you?” I demanded.

He didn’t answer.

I rolled him onto his front and twisted his arm up behind his back. “Who are you!?” He still didn’t answer. Then someone jumped on me from behind. I landed face first between the shoulder-blades of my prisoner, dazed for a moment.

When my senses returned I was on my back, six men stood in a circle looking down at me. One of them shone a bright light into my eyes. “What do we do with her now?” one of them asked nervously.

“I don’t know her,” said another with a gruff voice. “Do you know her?”

It was agreed that none of them knew me.

“So what do we do?” asked the gruff voice again.

“Duno. Kill her?” I wasn’t going to have any truck with that nonsense.

“Here’s what you are going to do,” I said. “You are going to stand there and let me beat the living daylights out of each and every one of you, then you are all going to roll around in agony for a while so I’ve got time to tie you up. Then you are going to wait here while I get the police and, finally, you are going to listen very carefully when they ask what you were doing here tonight."

And that’s exactly what they did.
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Part 18 – Cow Pats in Orange

November 27th 2006 08:46
One week sifting Cow Poo. It was just what I needed to prove my ability to my Boss and be the first woman within the ministry to be in a permanent covert role. I had no time to lose.

I packed an overnight bag with my spare jumpsuit and a reasonable supply of cosmetics, got behind the wheel of my car and drove into the pink sunset, headed for Orange.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Part 17 – And then there were four

October 28th 2006 08:51
He didn't have time to explain. Armed men stormed the room, Re was taken away and I was allowed to dress before being led to Bert’s office where I was made to wait. I sat alone while an eternity passed.

-o0o-

[ Click here to read more ]
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Part 16 – Heat on the sofa

October 13th 2006 14:25
It wasn’t an easy decision, taking Re back to the Ministry instead of his house. In those days a man didn’t go out in public unless he looked like a man, for all I knew Re could have been some sort of lunatic, some sort of crazy, murderous, mindless killer. But when he looked deep into my eyes from behind his thick dark lashes my heart melted. I saw the soul of a person who was desperate for love. I saw someone who needed a hug and some good, honest sex. Re was not a man in woman’s clothing; he was a beautiful creature in need of my warmth and comfort.

Or, conversely, I was a woman in need of his warmth and comfort and some good, honest sex. Either way I was hot and horny, and Re was the best offer I’d had since coming back to the city and leaving behind the modern day cowboys from the other side of the black stump.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Part 15 – Life at the Ministry

October 3rd 2006 12:18
Being a career woman in the 1950s was unheard of and as a result I was the only woman employed at the Ministry of the Exterior. The Ministry was a very exciting place to work but in the beginning I wasn’t on the buzzing end of the stick. Despite Margaret promising that my special skills would be of great value, the minister was of the opinion that I would make an excellent typists in the typing pool. I was sent to work in a large room filled with small desks, each with a typewriter and I was the only typist. All alone I sat in front of a machine I hardly knew how to use, next to an increasingly large pile of hand written memos that needed to be typed in triplicate and dispersed throughout the country.

My typing was atrocious and the pile grew by the hour. I had hoped, by reading the memos, I could learn more about the Ministry but they were hand written in a code that meant nothing to me.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Part 14 – Dinner and Kisses

September 20th 2006 06:02
I didn’t know what to do with Re. He insisted he was quite comfortable to go out in what he was wearing. I told him it wasn’t acceptable and suggested he at least take off the wig and wash his face. He said he wasn’t wearing a wig. No matter what I said or how hard I tried I couldn’t convince him that his current look was inappropriate. Eventually I gave up and decided to give him a lift home as he was. It was night again, I’m sure no one would see from a distance that he wasn’t a woman.

“Where do you live?” I asked.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Part 13 – I look just fine.

September 20th 2006 05:58
‘My God! What is it?” exclaimed Bert looking down at the wide eyed Re. “Is it man or is it woman?”

“Well I’m not really…” I stammered.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Part 12 – The Cat Burgularess

September 18th 2006 01:21
I looked at Re's body, slumped on the ground. He was a little unusual for 1956. He had long auburn hair piled up in a bee-hive style. His face was beautifully made up, though his lips did seem to be a little big. He wore a sequined electric blue jumpsuit and black platform stilettos, a style that wasn’t to come into fashion for another decade and a half. No wonder I mistook him for a woman.

I picked him up and carried him to my car. He was heavier than he looked. When he was safely strapped into the front passenger seat I gunned the motor and drove for the Department of the Exterior’s secret headquarters.

[ Click here to read more ]
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