Do you know of a child being abused? YOU could be todays winner!
September 22nd 2006 01:23
oh boy. Lemme chime in on this one.
I couldn't agree more that child abuse should be reported. And that the damage is life-long. I live it every day.
Here are some thoughts I have on the subject.
From the perspective of someone who was physically abused by a single parent. How was I supposed to "tell on" my abuser? who would take care of me? I loved my abuser, the worse the abuse got, the more I wanted her to love me.
Now that I'm grown, I still have doubts as to whether she loves me, or for that fact, how anyone could love me. I'm working on it, and becoming a better person for it, but I started this work at a very young age. I feel bad for people who don't realize they need help, and that they don't "suck", it's just a result of internalizing all those negative emotions, and rationalizing it. "I must be getting what I deserve" etc.
I had 3 sisters. While all of us were physically disciplined, my sisters and everyone close to my family has informed me that I got the worst of it, more often, and for fewer valid reasons. THAT was a hard pill to swallow. Until I learned that most abusers are only abusive to ONE of their children, I thought surely I was "bad" and didn't deserve to be treated any better.
Now I'm 35, and I have 2 kids of my own, and I'll be damned and burned to death before I'll allow someone to mistreat my kids. The problem is, How do I know I'm not mistreating them, by not disciplining them enough?
This is a discussion I've had at loud volumes with my husband several times.
My reasoning is that we only get one chance to teach them that they are good, and capable, and able, and smart, and loveable. They can learn to pick up their toys once we've laid a good foundation for lifeskills.
Maybe I shouldn't publish this one, I don't want a bunch of comments about how I'm feeling sorry for myself, that's not the case. I'm simply exploring the issue, coming to terms with it and educating myself about ways to combat the LIFE-LONG issues I'll deal with and that my Kids will NEVER experience as long as I have breath in my body.
P. S. If you know of someone being abused. Please call the authorities. The victim might even get mad at you. I probably would have if someone had turned my mom in, but she would have gotten help, and I would have gotten help.
I couldn't agree more that child abuse should be reported. And that the damage is life-long. I live it every day.
Here are some thoughts I have on the subject.
From the perspective of someone who was physically abused by a single parent. How was I supposed to "tell on" my abuser? who would take care of me? I loved my abuser, the worse the abuse got, the more I wanted her to love me.
Now that I'm grown, I still have doubts as to whether she loves me, or for that fact, how anyone could love me. I'm working on it, and becoming a better person for it, but I started this work at a very young age. I feel bad for people who don't realize they need help, and that they don't "suck", it's just a result of internalizing all those negative emotions, and rationalizing it. "I must be getting what I deserve" etc.
I had 3 sisters. While all of us were physically disciplined, my sisters and everyone close to my family has informed me that I got the worst of it, more often, and for fewer valid reasons. THAT was a hard pill to swallow. Until I learned that most abusers are only abusive to ONE of their children, I thought surely I was "bad" and didn't deserve to be treated any better.
Now I'm 35, and I have 2 kids of my own, and I'll be damned and burned to death before I'll allow someone to mistreat my kids. The problem is, How do I know I'm not mistreating them, by not disciplining them enough?
This is a discussion I've had at loud volumes with my husband several times.
My reasoning is that we only get one chance to teach them that they are good, and capable, and able, and smart, and loveable. They can learn to pick up their toys once we've laid a good foundation for lifeskills.
Maybe I shouldn't publish this one, I don't want a bunch of comments about how I'm feeling sorry for myself, that's not the case. I'm simply exploring the issue, coming to terms with it and educating myself about ways to combat the LIFE-LONG issues I'll deal with and that my Kids will NEVER experience as long as I have breath in my body.
P. S. If you know of someone being abused. Please call the authorities. The victim might even get mad at you. I probably would have if someone had turned my mom in, but she would have gotten help, and I would have gotten help.
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