If this were your kid, what would you do?
Recently there has been a lot of talk around these parts regarding boyfriends and whether they should be allowed to stay over or not at the parents house - and if they do where do they sleep?
When I was younger the rule around our house was simple - boys, whether they be friends or boyfriends, are not allowed down the passage except for the use of the toilet. They don`t stay over - they have their own houses to sleep in. That`s it!
One of my friends has an 18 year old daughter and her and her boyfriend live together in my friends house, with the rest of the family. My friend has decided that she would prefer her daughter to be at home, under her roof and not in some dark, isolated spot having a quickie in the backseat of the car.
Then I have another friend who has a 20 year old and under no circumstances is the boyfriend allowed to share her bed when he comes over. He can stay the night, however he has to sleep in the guest room and under no circumstances are there allowed any late night/early morning visits. The boy, who is 24, has been threatened with his life into submission. In fact, when they first started dating this mother phoned the boyfriends parents to say when her daughter stayed at their house she was not allowed to sleep in his bed either.
So where do you stand on this one? If this was your daughter what would your rules be? Is it being a resonsible parent to supply your children with birth control and at what age is it permissible for the supply to begin? How necessary is it to be open with your child when it comes to sex and how much should a parent know about what their child is doing?
When I was younger the rule around our house was simple - boys, whether they be friends or boyfriends, are not allowed down the passage except for the use of the toilet. They don`t stay over - they have their own houses to sleep in. That`s it!
One of my friends has an 18 year old daughter and her and her boyfriend live together in my friends house, with the rest of the family. My friend has decided that she would prefer her daughter to be at home, under her roof and not in some dark, isolated spot having a quickie in the backseat of the car.
Then I have another friend who has a 20 year old and under no circumstances is the boyfriend allowed to share her bed when he comes over. He can stay the night, however he has to sleep in the guest room and under no circumstances are there allowed any late night/early morning visits. The boy, who is 24, has been threatened with his life into submission. In fact, when they first started dating this mother phoned the boyfriends parents to say when her daughter stayed at their house she was not allowed to sleep in his bed either.
So where do you stand on this one? If this was your daughter what would your rules be? Is it being a resonsible parent to supply your children with birth control and at what age is it permissible for the supply to begin? How necessary is it to be open with your child when it comes to sex and how much should a parent know about what their child is doing?
Postmodern Critic
Daily Inspirations
Relativity Watch
Padsoc
I believe in being as open as possible, and if my daughter felt strongly enough about someone (male or female) to want to share a bed with them then I would allow her to do as she pleased.
I would inquire about birth control and make sure that she was informed and, if necessary, had supplies.
Of course, this is only hypothetical as I am nowhere near ready to have a child!
Epiphanie
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
The state of the world horrifies me.
I know no-one wants to hear me say such things.
So be it.
Infognito
Screen Trek
QUOTE ME NO QUOTES!
as I am 51, I have seen the pendulum swing from one extreme to the other, and back again.
In principle, the 60's generation had it right, however, their practise was a little enthusiastic shall we say? They attracted the ire of the 'big bad brother' and what was to be release from extreme conservatism, ended up making it stronger...for awhile.
Then came the gay liberation and shortly after that, the spectre of AIDS, giving yet another chance for the morons, bigots and psychopaths to attack their deep seated inner fears, and bash gays again basically.
So, all that history puts it in some perspective, as to parental attitude, which seems totally confused and 'defanged' today, for if you punish your child, you have abused their rights.
What does one do?
Well, if one hasn't taught one's child to respect themselves and others, if one hasn't instilled values that preserves a sense of integrity, of the child's mind, social status and body, so that they make informed choices, based on positive feelings, instincts and attitudes, not just people pleasing...
...if none of this has been achieved....,
...then get a prayer book, a giant crucifix, hair shirts and a flagelator (small personal whip), and some nice hymnal music, and when the boyfriend arrives, let it all loose!
Another helpful aid, a nice large, full colour 3D picture of Jesus with the bleeding heart (and glow in the dark eyes), situated on the inside of the door of the guest bedroom, facing the bed, might help too.
Sorry, I'm a bit 'up', after watching the Oscars and what could have been...sigh..
Nahh!! If they love each other, what better time to express it, when they are full of hormones, health, optimism and feel utterly indestructible!
Later on, they can reflect on the love of their lives, either reminiscing in bed together when old and grey, or just lulling a lonely evening away, alone in a boarding house, with the memories to warm their now lonely heart.
cheers...no..I'm not in a boarding house...but...alas..
fog
If you don't make a safe space for your children to experience life, they will seek out unsafe spaces. Sex is not a sin, it is not drugs, it is not alchohol. Done responsibly it's a great way to spend an afternoon or evening and the more we give our kids erotophobic claustrophobic rules about when and where, the more chance we've got of the STD's, the unexpected pregnancies and the guilt that so many people carry into their adult sex lives. Set the boundaries, and let them enjoy.
Jo
Project Job Search
Travel Debate
Travel String
Love Adventures
Personally, I'd prefer them to both move out (when they are old enough of course) to learn some independence! (that way they can be sleeping together and I don't have to know about it?
Kalikapsychosis
The whole comment was just spot on. My mum put me on the pill at 14 but it was more about her fear of me being pregnant - Im sure she never wanted children and she's hell bent that I have the life she was denied. Ive been with my man for 7 years, Im 25, and she still tells me - DONT GET PREGNANT! To which I say, too bad, it will happen....
Kmans mum has often worked in free clinics handing out the condoms and giving blood tests. Rather than see kids she knew and loved in danger, she made her garage a 'safe house' stocked with all the safe sex nessecities, where they could come and smoke some weed and have sex without being in danger of STDs and being arrested for a little experimentation.
Honestly, this is the only way to go. The more restrictions you make the more kids will try to beat them. The world continues to become more liberal and if it was my daughter Id much rather have her safe at home and know what she was up to than be pacing the house freaking because I had no idea where she was or who she was with. Its a hard balance to strike but if the kids are going to do it, its better to be there. Far too many times Ive seen parents say - "well fine, GET OUT and dont come back if thats what you want to do" What happens then? They live on the streets with drug addicts, or in their cars with no money or food....
It is simply the truth of life that your children will go against you and make decisions separate from yours. Its a law of nature. To fight it pushes them away. Acceptance of the next generation moving in new directions is what evolution is all about.
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
In my home if my son's girlfriend stayed over at our house she stayed in my son's room and he had to stay downstairs in the guest room. If they had a rendevous after I was asleep...welll no ask no tell. But after I found his girlfriend's underwear in my laundry I decided that I was not evolved enough. We decided that it was time for him to get his own place. I am glad that my son had a satisfying sex life (he has since broken up with her) but I just don't want to be a part of it.
Mis
Rugby World Cup 2007
However, my husband and I made the decision to be parents not dictators.
Yes there are rules and the children respect them but... our childrens partners regularly stay the night/ weekend and yes we are quite aware that they have all moved past the hand-holding stage.
We allowed this for the reasons cited in the comments above (by Joanne and Kleo).
I have been the one to speak very frankly to them about sex...much to their initial embarasment! Not just about the physical side but the emotional.
Sex is not a game, not a 'bargaining chip', not a manipulation, not a 'last resort', not anything but a healthy and NATURAL part of our humanity.
As many comments here say...making sex taboo is what causes the problems.
Yes young girls can fall in to the trap of confusing sex for love and 'trading' love for sex but I truly believe that this unhealthy thought process stems from being made to feel 'dirty' about sex in the first place.
Boys also need to be reassured that promiscuity is not a rite of passage for them nor is a female who 'knows what she wants' neccessarily promiscuous.
To me...promiscuity is a physical manifestation of an emotional reaction.
...if you genuinely love sex and are single and play safe...go get as much as you can!
If sex is a substitute for love...then you've got problems.
...but I've gone off on a tangent...
What I'm trying to say is that how one perceives sex is determined by the prevailing attitude during the most important sexually aware formative years.
How much should a parent know?
Enough to know their sexually aware children know the practical aspects (birth control, etc) and are comfortable within themselves and have no hang-ups and know that respect is the fundamental emotion here. For their partners, for their parents and siblings...and for themselves
DO NOT want to know details and preferences!!
My children (23, 21, 20, 18) are all in long term relationships and that's what I initially had a problem with! ...again a very fine line to tread when what you really want to say is...go and sow your wild oats children!
However...I wouldn't want my children and their partners to live with us.
For that...they do need to be in their own place with their own rules and privacy. eg. Couples argue but parents and siblings shouldn't be privy to it.
I like knowing that our children respect us not just as parents but as individuals, as human beings. Parents set the standard.
A friend of mine vowed that her daughter would not be allowed to have a boyfriend until she was 18 and that she wouldn't be allowed to go out, etc, etc and that sex will never be a topic of conversation.
What's totally funny and hypocritical about this is that my friend rebelled against her strict mother and did all the things that parents don't want their children to do.
My friend's daughter is now 14...and to put it mildly...a handful.
Damn...this is an epic. Sorry Ash hon...excellent post.
Hope you're well....hugs...
Dusk
feelings
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
Have to agree with your friend : Jo, Dusk, Kleo and the others here ... especially when Dusk says;
DO NOT want to know details and preferences!!
Absolutely!
~~~
However, me personally?
I couldn't make love in my parents house, ewwww ... but hope my daughter can ? ... that's a little off.... The material fact is that I don't care where they go, but am clear that being 'at home' is okay and preferable to dangerous places; just like drinking, where they can learn good moderation (and not have to drive) at home.
Raised properly in a balanced environment, talks of morality are not necessary and a parent should have nothing to fear. If you are worried that you missed out on a few pointers, I highly recommend Jane Austin's Guide to Dating by Lauren Henderson ((laughs)) … which I bought, not for my girls you understand - but for me the parent, um ... so that I could quickly remember what dating is all about *LOL* it’s been quite a while, since I dated. *chuckle*
Like Dusk, I'm not a dictatorial parent, preferring that my ‘children’ learn to make their own way without my personality being too impressed upon them. But like Fog points out, unlike my own generational 'head space' on this subject during the 70s, which you could accuse of being too liberal, possibly attracting too much promiscuity. Sadly, real love and sex so often occupy different spaces .... and I've noticed that each generation creates it’s own mores. To this end, I truly believe that today's morality is better than the 70's were.
In the movie, Captains Corelli's Mandolin there is a scene where the father gives his duaughter the big chat on what love is and is not and it has always stayed with me. He says that, '.. love is what is left after the passion has burned off. When you find that your roots are so intertwined that you could not untangle them and go on alone.'
That's all good and wonderful to me now that I am on the other side of it, huh? But what does that mean to a teenager, eager to find that ever ellusive 'love.'
I think the most important thing for a parent, is to try to remember what it was like, when they were a teenager and 'finding out' what love is … and isn't, which naturally required some experimentation. I can see nothing wrong with that experimentation being in the family home, as long as it is discreet and again, respectful of all involved ... and yet, in the same breath, I cannot imagine a man staying in my “little girl’s” room.
Practicality has to play its part in an age where housing becomes dearer and dearer and youngsters stay at home, longer and longer as a result.
Judging by the long replies here, Ash, you can see this is a dilemma for all parents to face, so, like death, you tend not to think about it too much and just play it by ear. On the one hand the most natural process, on the other, the most scary and dangerous ... I usually stay somewhat dethatched from the emotional content of what I think is right and wrong in certain situations, and this is one of them. I just trust that everything will be taken care of properly, after I have put all the universal 'rules' and 'safety nets' out on the table.
In fact, it is interesting to see where their paths will take them and what their karma alludes to - not to mention who they bring home for dinner ((laughs)). As a parent, I guess you always hope it is someone special, and seriously interested only in the real thing. There is a point where as a mother, I think you have to let go and let God, somehwhere in the background, secure in the knowledge that you have done the best job you could have possibly done to get them through the next difficult minefield of life.
The rest really is up to God and Fate, isn't it?
It is a shame when parents cannot do this and really believe that they 'own' their children, like a slave, there for them for the rest of their lives, to do with as they wish.
*sigh*
Lilla ...
Love Speaks
Food Slate
I've been open with her as I felt that it was best that way, given how much more quickly people in her generation are *growing-up* and how much more exposed they are compared to when I was her age -- i certainly didn't want her contracting STDs nor getting pregnant.
I agree a lot with what everyone here has already said.
Regarding sleepovers, my parents have not allowed that...and I'm not sure how I stand on that either. I think depends how old she is...and how long they've been together.
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Hi Epiphanie
Like yourself I don`t have any children so it would be a difficult one to hypothesize over. I`d like to think that I would be open-minded enough to trust that I had taught my child well enough for them to use logic and not jump into bed with randoms, actually that is something that I would definitely not tolerate under my roof, and make sure that she/he was informed enough to be ‘safe’.
Then the debate over what age would be deemed OK to start these rompings of course!
You sound like you would be a very good mom down the track.
Ash
Postmodern Critic
Daily Inspirations
Relativity Watch
Padsoc
I wouldn't try to censor my daughter's natural experimentation, as I was exploring my sexuality with my girlfriend when I was 15, so yeah. I think it's important to teach her to know when she's ready. Hopefully she'll be mature before her age!
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
I hear what you are saying and appreciate your honesty on the matter, the world seems to have gone sex mad as it has become more acceptable to be spoken about freely. With anything what becomes more acceptable it generally loses its value, although from what I have gathered not everyone marries as a virgin, even ‘back in the day’. The only difference was that marriage was the very next, immediate step, so as to not ruin the family name and I think that is where a lot of unhappiness stemmed from.
You bring up an interesting point – STD`s are a worry and with girls thinking that the Pill is the be all and end all, it can create problems with unfaithful partners.
I just wonder that in this day and age, where young men and women are staying at home longer and waiting longer to get married, how this all ties in. Obviously if you choose to stay at home with your parents you should abide by their rules and have respect for them in their own home, but should there not also be a compromise on their behalf here? There is one thing to be jumping into bed with different people every weekend and being in a long term relationship with one person. Sex is a natural and important part of any relationship, there is going to come a time when it doesn’t matter where they do it, they are going to – I think I would prefer my child to be safe and feel able to come to me should any problems arise with it, but that`s just my opinion and I thank you for voicing your own.
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
You really do crack me up! You have such an excellent way of bringing humour to a serious topic without making fun of it, if that makes ANY sense whatsoever! Your comment is brilliant!
You also bring up a very valid point – that if the parent is lacking in giving their child support and building a positive self-esteem, then things can go very wrong and they can look for it in all the wrong places. Dusk also mentions this point in her comment further down.
Btw I heard that the Oscars was down 22% on viewers this year! I would have thought they would have made it a special one considering it was the 80th! I didn`t watch it myself but as the news pours in I`ll be having a look at what went on – of course the disastrous outfits always make their way into the headlines!
I just love that and have to agree wholeheartedly! Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all hey?!?!
Awwww but you have your beautiful pup to keep your company and reminisce – I`ll slip you my cousin`s number, he`s a gem
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Great comment! I have to agree with you on this one, although I hope that I would have instilled in my child enough love for them to not hop in and out of bed with strangers. Nothing like having an early morning cuppa with someone even your child doesn`t even know the name of!
I wonder where the boundaries are with regards to experimentation though. Although that`s a whole new topic!
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
HAHAHAHAHA! Yes... I don`t want to think about my hypothetical children having sex either!!!! I wonder what the right age is though, I mean are you really mature enough at, say 15/16, to decide whether you are ready for a physical relationship? At what age is it OK to say... yes hon your boyfriend/girlfriend can stay the night? It`s a tough one. We have a rocky road ahead of us
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
See I agree that children should have a safe place where they can experiment - at the end of the day they will do what they will do.
This is a catch 22 for me, see I know, from my addictive tendancies, that I wouldn`t encourage kids to get involved with drugs and alcohol. I wouldn`t make a big hoo haa about it, but I wouldn`t exactly say 'Yeah let`s have a smoke together' or ' Here`s a bottle of JD, do your best!' in fact I think you have inspired my next post - this needs further exploration as I also have a few friends with different opinions on this one! I`m also not sure how I would feel about another mother setting up somewhere like this and my child going there.... I know as a parent it would partly be my own fault because I was dangling the forbidden fruit before their eyes, but if I had said no to my child about something I would like other parents to respect my wishes and not allow my child to go behind my back on it. Interesting one this....
So very, very true K!
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
hahahaha! great comment, you make me laugh! I imagine finding your sons girlfriends underwear in your laundry was not really what you wanted how do you manage to go home without your underwear in the first place?? it would def be something I would miss, no?
I agree there is an age when they should move on and out, sometimes, unfortunately for all parties, life doesn`t work that way, and perhaps that is where the problems lie.
I don`t think I would like to be a part of ANYONE`S (except my own
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Yes, I think the emotional side is one that many tend to overlook. For most girls (having never been a guy I can`t comment here!) it`s a big step to take and if you don`t have someone to talk to about it, it could turn out a littel disasterous!
Being open about it certainly goes a long way to making it easier!
I oculd quote your entire answer here, I`m nodding my head as I read what you have written, it makes perfect sense. I just wish all parents had the same logic! I think it would go a long way to changing the world.
wow! I wish my parents had said that! All my mother wants is grandkids... but then boys were never allowed to stay over??? ~shrugs shoulders~ I agree 125 1/4 % Dusk... while you are young get it all out of your system, you have time to get old and be responsible, but there is only so much time you can be young and carefree and wreckless! I wish I had done more with my 20`s... ALOT more!
Personally I think parents have a problem with drawing the line between between being a a parent and being an individual. Sure, you should always respect your parents, but isn`t there also a time when you can be more honest and frank with them, without coming under pressure for 'lacking respect'????
Thanks for such an excellent reply Dusk, you sound like an excellent mother and a great friend and confidant to her children! Who could ask for more really!
Hugs
Ash xxx
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
An interesting response? Don`t you think this would make your children rebel against you and go behind your back? Coming first hand from this sort of parenting and respecting you, as a person, I would beg you to reconsider your views on your own children. It only puts them in very unsafe and often harrowing positions where they feel helpless and with nowhere to turn
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
ha! that`s awesome.... I love how you said
It`s interesting to see how people express this - is it sex or is it lovemaking? There is a world of difference between the two, no?
btw I could never do it either, not that I was allowed to, but it always felt not right, even if they weren`t there, like they were watching or something.... and that`s JUST FREAKY MAN!
I`ll have to keep an eye out for that book too! Perhaps that is another problem - that parents are so far removed from the situation that they cannot remember anything about it????
that`s an awesome statement, thank you for sharing. Do you know I have never watched this movie??? I`ll have to get it and see what it`s all about!
being discreet and respecting the other family members is what it`s all about isn`t it? no ways do I want to hear the goings on of ANYONE, let alone my children! It must also be difficult to imagine your child growing up too!
There is a definite problem with parents learning TO LET GO. Many, MANY MMAANNYY problems can arise from this - is it perhaps a sign that a parent is not happy with the the way they have raised their child? Like a bit of insecurity???
I reckon your job as a parent and the role of Fate meet half way here - you can only do som much for your child but you can never account for their own spirit and which way their path will go.
Much luck, your gals are both beautiful, gentle souls and I reckon they will be just fine!
Ash
Kalikapsychosis
Just wanted to clarify -
I thought I grew up in a bad area but once I met Kman I truly understood what a bad area was. He lived in fear of getting bashed to death everyday, and probably the only reason their house didnt get burned down was because his mum had medical training....If you get my drift?
Now its you that has an excellent point - in most suburban areas, Im with you there. It wasnt like there were neon lights on it or anything but she just made sure condoms were available...And if they wanted to have a drink or whatever well, it was the kids area, she didnt know all that went on in there! Also Im wagering - since she adopted a 15 year old child that was about to be turned into a hooker - that she loved these kids more than their parents did, and SHE knew where they were, when their parents had no idea or didnt care....Unexcusable to me in a part of the world where they could have been getting knifed for the shoes they wore!
Kman just made the odd comment to me about going out to the garage and finding it was already being 'used'!
*giggles* I never said that! Id tell them the truth and try and make my house as open as possible....But I seriously doubt Id get my kids involved in a drinking competition!
Loved Dusk's rant!
And guys, so many of you go "EEW" about sex under the same roof as your parents.....
MY MUM LIVES WITH ME!!!!
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
As the sibling of much younger sisters I tend to agree with you. Although I don`t want to play Police(wo)man I don`t my sister to feel like she needs to shy away... ad I don`t here throwing it in my face either!
Catch22 alright! much luck with your sister!
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
hehehehehe! i dont think I`ve EVER heard you say GIGGLE in one of your comments before... that`s SOOOO cute hon!!!! Nah you know I`m just exagerating... I hope you get my point behind it, dont mean to put words in your mouth I know what you are saying!
MY MUM LIVES WITH ME!!!!
lol! awwwww you'll have to make sure you have a weekend away once in a while.
love your spirit K you ROCK
Ash xxx
Flick Wit
And I still don't. Lol. But thought I better finally leave my mark here instead of haunting you. Basically, Dusk covers pretty much everything I believe. I reckon my parents did everything they could throughout my childhood to instill good values and responsibility, a sense of selfworth and the knowledge that I could go to them with any problem or question I ever faced. They did this without being my 'friend' and being intimately aware of details, which I think was very important. Because of all this, when the time came, I made my own decisions, and I made them with a full understanding.
I have always been very independent. I couldn't have lived with my parents once I had finished my education and started working, and in fact moved away well before then, though we are very, very close. I certainly couldn't have a boyfriend living with them! Not because of sex but because... why should he? It would be weird.
Oh Lordy, see now I got going and couldn't stop after all! GREAT POST!
Mich
What's Your Story?
Big Day Plunge
If I were the parents, there'd be a no no to boys staying for the night. Unless there's a raging blizzard. Uh-uh.
Inspiration
For me it really DEPENDS on so many things. I can say that I have been on both sides of this - as a boyfriend wanting to sleep with his girlfriend, and as a parent with an 18 year old daughter. Let's start with the former.
My girlfriend was the oldest of 7 kids. It's 1979, and her parents would let me stay over at their house but normally in one of the boys rooms. We'd been dating since the age of 11, and as as we sexually matured together, (ended up having a 23 year relationship, 3 kids together, including 10 years of marriage) - her parents knew from an early age that I was going to be part of their family. Still rules were rules, and this is key part for both scenarios - the PARENTS and RESPECT.
As much as we would have loved to sleep together in 1979, there was no way in Hades her parents would be setting this example for 6 other kids (3 girls & 3 boys). My girlfriend being the eldest girl didn't help because of the example setting and the extra constraints that do ease over time as the parents get more familiar / relaxed about their kids growing up.
To this point, when we were older and some of my girlfriends sisters had grown up to 17 we were flabbergasted to find her younger sister sleeping with her boyfriend in the PARENTS house years later. So this reflects the parenting and where parents are at - and more than anything their values and rules at the time.
My daughter (18) and her boyfriend recently stayed with me and my partner and it wasn't really an issue between us all as to their sleeping arrangements. We have a guest bedroom with a King-sized bed in it, and my daughter said that was great & thanks DAD!
As a parent YOU have to be OK with this scenario and ALL the factors and circumstance taken into account. 18 year olds are adults, and legally able to do what they want in respect to sleeping together. Putting your parental values over this is taking away their LEGAL rights, so it really depends on the social values and this tricky situation. If I'd have given my daughter separate sleeping arrangements, she would have a) laughed it off and said I was joking right? or b) if I had of pushed this rule, sought to find the nearest Motel, and given me a lecture about being an Adult, and treating her accordingly. And largely I am relaxed about it because of my situation when I was growing up and how I was treated and how it felt to me.
In summary the situation and question you pose is all about the parents. To ask someone if they are OK about their 18 year old daughter sleeping in the same bed as her boyfriend is a very intimate and personal question for that PARENT. It's also about respect.
Every parent has to see this is a 2-way street when dealing with any other adult. That my daughter isn't doing this or that in MY HOUSE is a fine stance to take, though in reality it will force the issue ultimately and the daughter will make up her own mind, in her own space and time about it.
I used to sleep with my girlfriend whether or not her PARENTS consented to it. If they didn't want us sleeping together in the house - that was their rule and I respected it. So outside of their house, the rules didn't apply, so we slept together whenever we could. And why not? We were adults!
Dances
Bohemian Hiphop
Japanese Jazz Funk
Optomystic Opportunism
When I read Krystal's response I had to hold back the laughter... is that the type of comment to take seriously? I don't really know anymore. (Still laughing internally)
I've kinda noticed u guys aren't really talking about equal rights, which is the way I see this topic. let your daughter get away with what your son does.
Don't shoot me yet.
Research Psychologists have come out recently determining that your rebellious ways are often reflected in your respective sex grandparents. So the daughter is very much like the father's mother, and the son like the mother's father.
I'd like to finish this by saying Ash you got more comments in this one post than I have friends on facebook. Can I borrow one sometime?
Hiccups and sneezes,
Opto
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
hehehehe! so you been haunting me eh?/ Now I know who is responsible for all these sleepless nights I`ve been having
I have to agree with everything you have said. At the end of the day it`s your parents house and you should both have respect enough for them to adhere to their wishes.
I know I would just feel REALLY awkward doing anything in my parents house, even if it were allowed. It`s just WEIRD!
Thanks for the comment, good to see ya
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
hahahaha! all the more cosy for them
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
sigh that`s a really romantic story you have! Congratulations on such a successful married life... you must have found the key ingredient BRAVO!
You have summed it up perfectly -
That`s it!
and you raise a VERY interesting point here - is it really fair to use the first child as a guinea pig to test what happens with the rest (I`m the first born to I have issues with this, as only a first born can
(I`m just kidding btw)
Excellent comment Dances - some food for thought in your words. Great to 'meet' you, thanks for coming by you are most welcome at any time!
Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
You raise a valid point too - as I only know females in this situation, and of course being one myself, have first hand experience of it, I never actually thought about it from the POV of a son.
That`s interesting and I wonder what the response would be to that? You could do a follow up post from your own experiences?
Great to see you, I`ll be popping around your place soon. Life is VERY hectic at the moment and I`m even struggling to find the time to get a few moments of shut eye in!
Ash xxx
Mum's Word
I asked Mr M what he thought and he said to ask him again in 10 years. He's still trying to work out the playstation rules in the house
As for me, I'd like to think that my daughter will find nice boys (especially for her first) so that will make it easier for me to cope with.
I know I can't choose her boyfriends, but how hard would it be to watch your daughter date a loser and there's not a great deal you can do about it because we have to let our daughters make their own mistakes....that's how they end up finding the nice guy right?
And I'd like to think that my sons will be perfect gentlemen.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Its sooooo good to see you around these Orble halls once again.
As for this one - I would like to take Mr M's stance on the view but I think that`s what dad's do... is sort of avoid the issue. Us mums have to look out for our kids, so when we imagine our daughter... ya know.... the first time... Im sure we would wish it to be the best.
I know from my own experience it only (thankfully) got better from there and because of my parents feelings they never knew.... but now .... well you ahead of me on this one so I only hope yu are listenjing when my first child is born¬
Ash xxxxxx