ICE AGE 3 - 3D
July 6th 2009 00:53
Can I begin this film review with the following,
"CONTROL YOUR FUCKING CHILDREN IN THE CINEMA"
OK, now lets continue, ICE AGE 3 is OK, that's really it, just OK, there are about 3 funny parts throughout the film that actually make your laugh out loud, there are also 3 cute bits when baby queen latifas are born and also about 3 minutes of dialogue without the monotonous nasal drone of Ray Romano drilling into your skull. Why anyone would use his voice in a movie is beyond my comprehension.
So, at this point there is a lot of 3 going on, and whilst I am very tolerant of kids movies, not expecting the world from them , not expecting a complex story line , I was bored, so very bored. Even the 3D couldn't maintain my interest. This is odd as I love kids movies, Madagascar 2 made me laugh till a little bit of wee came out, Happy Feet is brilliant, and who can hate Finding Nemo.
ICE AGE 3 just was meh, flat line, simple. Watch it on DVD with the kids at home.
Now to the real stuff, to all the parents out there, a cinema is not a playground, nor is it a race track, nor a jumping castle. What is wrong with people.
I was expecting some tiny voices asking questions, some innapropriate laughter, but not what I was subjected to.
A group of 10 kids running down one set of stairs all the way to the screen, doing cartwheels in from of the screen, then running up the other side of the cinema. Their parents saying nothing the whole time.
I gave them 3 warnings, "huney please stop running". "kids please sit", "kiddo dont do that'
I fucking snapped, "IF YOU DONT SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW THE MONSTER THAT LIVES IN THAT DARK CORNER WILL EAT YOU ALIVE AND YOU WILL ALL BE GONE FOREVER!"
woops. mummy was not happy about that, and hence began the 'quiet yelling match', something along the lines of, "dont you speak to my kids like that", I say, "I wouldn't have to if you controlled them" she said, "I was controlling them", I said "clearly you have no idea how to control kids, your letting them all over the fucking cinema, get them to sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up"
She turned around, ignored me and continued to let them run wild.
Hence, I got up, went and got the manager and asked her to speak to the mother, reluctantly the manager came in and asked her to please ask her children to sit down.
They did , for about 10 mins, then the movie was over anyway.
On the way out she looked back at me and gave me this epic dirty, to which is gratiously replied a big fat middle finger much to the delight of her children, accompanied with a mouthed "GET FUCKED" smile.
Oh happy times, happy times.
In summary, death to all children under 5, a stiff cane beating for their parents, and reduced ticket sales for ICE AGE 3. perfect
"CONTROL YOUR FUCKING CHILDREN IN THE CINEMA"
OK, now lets continue, ICE AGE 3 is OK, that's really it, just OK, there are about 3 funny parts throughout the film that actually make your laugh out loud, there are also 3 cute bits when baby queen latifas are born and also about 3 minutes of dialogue without the monotonous nasal drone of Ray Romano drilling into your skull. Why anyone would use his voice in a movie is beyond my comprehension.
So, at this point there is a lot of 3 going on, and whilst I am very tolerant of kids movies, not expecting the world from them , not expecting a complex story line , I was bored, so very bored. Even the 3D couldn't maintain my interest. This is odd as I love kids movies, Madagascar 2 made me laugh till a little bit of wee came out, Happy Feet is brilliant, and who can hate Finding Nemo.
ICE AGE 3 just was meh, flat line, simple. Watch it on DVD with the kids at home.
Now to the real stuff, to all the parents out there, a cinema is not a playground, nor is it a race track, nor a jumping castle. What is wrong with people.
I was expecting some tiny voices asking questions, some innapropriate laughter, but not what I was subjected to.
A group of 10 kids running down one set of stairs all the way to the screen, doing cartwheels in from of the screen, then running up the other side of the cinema. Their parents saying nothing the whole time.
I gave them 3 warnings, "huney please stop running". "kids please sit", "kiddo dont do that'
I fucking snapped, "IF YOU DONT SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW THE MONSTER THAT LIVES IN THAT DARK CORNER WILL EAT YOU ALIVE AND YOU WILL ALL BE GONE FOREVER!"
woops. mummy was not happy about that, and hence began the 'quiet yelling match', something along the lines of, "dont you speak to my kids like that", I say, "I wouldn't have to if you controlled them" she said, "I was controlling them", I said "clearly you have no idea how to control kids, your letting them all over the fucking cinema, get them to sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up"
She turned around, ignored me and continued to let them run wild.
Hence, I got up, went and got the manager and asked her to speak to the mother, reluctantly the manager came in and asked her to please ask her children to sit down.
They did , for about 10 mins, then the movie was over anyway.
On the way out she looked back at me and gave me this epic dirty, to which is gratiously replied a big fat middle finger much to the delight of her children, accompanied with a mouthed "GET FUCKED" smile.
Oh happy times, happy times.
In summary, death to all children under 5, a stiff cane beating for their parents, and reduced ticket sales for ICE AGE 3. perfect
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Comment by Lollipop
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Cronulla. You're a riot.
Beautifully composed.
Comment by JESUS
What's love Scot to do, Scot to do with it?
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Comment by JESUS
What's love Scot to do, Scot to do with it?
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power