I would rather be a poem
December 6th 2007 03:37
Do some women lead their lives as “polite fiction”?
In one of the most beautifully crafted books I read this year, To Kill a Mockingbird, one of the characters coins the phrase "polite fiction". It made me think about women who live their lives as pretty one-dimensional canvasses without exploring the depth of treasures within...mainly because they haven't found the strength to be REAL, to learn about themselves.
I then thought about myself. I love feminine adornments (from lingerie, toe polish, blush, gloss, gorgeous dresses, healthy hair, smooth skin) and I have been described as a girly girl. I take care with my appearance and also look to compliment my wardrobe with beautiful and unique pieces (when I can as these are hard to come by often!). Could I still have self-esteem and confidence without the trappings of handbags, shoes, cosmetics, laces, silks, perfumes, dresses and all other manner of feminine wares used to beautify and make myself feel good, and that bring a certain amount of daily happiness and satisfaction to me?
How would I cope if I had no access to make-up, pretty clothes, essentially to the polite fiction spinning wheel that weaves a part of my image? Would I be depressed, lost, confused?
My answer at first is “Maybe I would crumble…” but that's the diplomat in me talking - trying to see it from both sides. Getting right down to it, I know which side of the fence I sit on. I am a deep person. I am attracted to the inside of life and the outside of life, but I know it's the inside that feeds me. The outside is just an expression of the glory inside.
I would miss the pleasure and joy of girly things but my core attractions - words, love, connecting to people, knowing God - are so high on my agenda that they fill me up better than any powder compact!
My experience in life is tied to sharing myself with people, expressing ideas, growing and learning from experiences, believing in God, making my way through it in the best way possible, tasting the mystery and undefinable, marveling at nature and beauty, and helping others too.
I don’t want to be polite fiction! Polite fiction harks of a subdued and controlled image, much like modern day confused affluent women (and by affluent I mean anyone who can afford to buy clothes because there are places in the world where people are starving) who are scurrying like blind rabbits to buy, buy, buy to cover up their insecurities and are really playing into the fiction of being unreal, of not being themselves, and thinking that perhaps through this polite storymaking they can acquire the perfect man that fits an ideal they formed from watching too much TV.
I would rather be a poem exploring the depths of everything that happens in life – joy, happiness, pain, sadness, regret, mistakes, fear, loneliness, beauty, wonder, amazement, spirituality...Poetry goes where we should all go - right to the heart of the matter. You can't hide when you are a poem.
In one of the most beautifully crafted books I read this year, To Kill a Mockingbird, one of the characters coins the phrase "polite fiction". It made me think about women who live their lives as pretty one-dimensional canvasses without exploring the depth of treasures within...mainly because they haven't found the strength to be REAL, to learn about themselves.
I then thought about myself. I love feminine adornments (from lingerie, toe polish, blush, gloss, gorgeous dresses, healthy hair, smooth skin) and I have been described as a girly girl. I take care with my appearance and also look to compliment my wardrobe with beautiful and unique pieces (when I can as these are hard to come by often!). Could I still have self-esteem and confidence without the trappings of handbags, shoes, cosmetics, laces, silks, perfumes, dresses and all other manner of feminine wares used to beautify and make myself feel good, and that bring a certain amount of daily happiness and satisfaction to me?
How would I cope if I had no access to make-up, pretty clothes, essentially to the polite fiction spinning wheel that weaves a part of my image? Would I be depressed, lost, confused?
My answer at first is “Maybe I would crumble…” but that's the diplomat in me talking - trying to see it from both sides. Getting right down to it, I know which side of the fence I sit on. I am a deep person. I am attracted to the inside of life and the outside of life, but I know it's the inside that feeds me. The outside is just an expression of the glory inside.
I would miss the pleasure and joy of girly things but my core attractions - words, love, connecting to people, knowing God - are so high on my agenda that they fill me up better than any powder compact!
My experience in life is tied to sharing myself with people, expressing ideas, growing and learning from experiences, believing in God, making my way through it in the best way possible, tasting the mystery and undefinable, marveling at nature and beauty, and helping others too.
I don’t want to be polite fiction! Polite fiction harks of a subdued and controlled image, much like modern day confused affluent women (and by affluent I mean anyone who can afford to buy clothes because there are places in the world where people are starving) who are scurrying like blind rabbits to buy, buy, buy to cover up their insecurities and are really playing into the fiction of being unreal, of not being themselves, and thinking that perhaps through this polite storymaking they can acquire the perfect man that fits an ideal they formed from watching too much TV.
I would rather be a poem exploring the depths of everything that happens in life – joy, happiness, pain, sadness, regret, mistakes, fear, loneliness, beauty, wonder, amazement, spirituality...Poetry goes where we should all go - right to the heart of the matter. You can't hide when you are a poem.
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