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Yep. I've got three weeks to find a place to live. And I'm pretty much going to be house-hopping every few weeks for two years, maybe even being able to bribe my mother to let me stay for a week out of the month.
What I'm doing right now is getting a SIN number, going to school and trying to figure out a part-time job. Once I've got one of those, depending, I *might* be able to actually move back into my old place, with my grandfather.
Now THAT is a crazy dream. On one hand. But on the other hand... it's not all that unlikely. If I can get a part time job VERY soon and actually be making money by the end of next month, I should be able to manage something. If I talk to my grandmother and ask a few friends of mine... I'm pretty sure.
That's an interesting goal. And it's also my new one. My grandfather needs a roommate who can pay rent. If I can pay rent I'm going to jump at it. I love that apartment and he's going to have to move out soon if he can't find someone; I don't want him to have to move and I really, really, really want to live there again-I miss it.
So. Any ideas on how to start making $800-odd dollars a month?
(The rent is six hundred. My smoking and food is the rest.)
'Cause I'm pretty much fresh out. But I really want to.
Well I am unbelievably happy. I don't even know how to describe it. I'm just really happy right now. I have a boyfrriend who I love more than anything. He is so important to me, so much to me.
I love him so much and I'm happy with him. I get a really good feeling. Like this'll last until the end of time. I can't even begin to describe how happy I am.
And it's crazy. Love. Is. Overrated. I don't care to be in it... I didn't want to be in it... I never wanted it... but I got stuck with it. Repeatedly... and this time for once... I'm happy. Really happy. Things are going severely uphill in almost every area of my life.
I am incredibly happy except for one tiny problem.
My mother called Children's Aid, convinced that I need THEIR help. And I don't need or want help, even if I did I wouldn't go to them for it. I'm allergic to them and I'm too independent for them to do any good.
They cannot help me nor do I want their help.
But they're coming anyway and I'm going to be very very displeased. But my boyfriend will be there so I'll manage to deal. Heh.
Last night was interesting. First, it went largely downhill because I had to go out and meet up with a friend and he DIDN'T SHOW. Then it went hugely uphill because I was hanging out with him and three other friends.
Then he decided to slip, fall, and hit his head on the ice and get a mild concussion, which wonderfulled my day. We had to take him to the hospital, and despite the fact that I hate ALL hospitals-especially this one-I went with him.
He's my ex and my best friend's boyfriend. I went a) because I was worried about him b) because my best friend would have never been able to get home without his or my help. I called my boyfriend-who is my ex's best friend, and whose dad hates me COMPLETELY.
Well he had a mild concussion and they did let him out. My day went uphill as soon as I'd seen my boyfriend-I love him a lot. But still, hospitals, argh.
I was panic-attacking in the hospital. It's a combination of the fact that I watched Daddy die there, the fact that I sense spirits and hospitals have plenty, and the fact I was worried about my friend. Rolling all three into one and we have panic-attack-city.
As in, hyperventilating, shaking, and gaining wonderful speech impediments. (Or, as my friend would say, 'Speeching Definitions'. HA.) Anyway, it was wonderfully horrible. I hated every minute spent in that hospital. Yeah, we probably should have stayed-if we'd been there five more minutes, my friend wouldn't have searched for us for like... half an hour. But I could not be paid to stick around any longer, especially because he might have had to stay an overnight.
So, I left my bag there. I never leave my bag ANYWHERE, but I almost forgot it once and I DID forget it. This is how bad off I was being in the hospital, because I hate that place so much.
I'm going to have to laugh if my mother complains that I didn't go to school today; I really am.
The title has absolutely, completely, 100%, nothing to do with anything.
So I guess I should talk about what's keeping me so busy. Combination of trying to beat up my depression-and almost-succeeding-so that it hides away in a corner for the moment. (Damn thing won't die.) Combination of that, writing elsewhere, reading, and spending time with ze boyfriend. Who isn't the one I was dating for three months somewhere in there
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Sorry about my disappearance. I went into a wonderful suicidally depressed state for the last month or so, and I've been carefully hiding it.
Now I have the most wonderful boyfriend in the world-in my eyes-and I'm completely happy. It's kind of frightening how happy I am. I'm just sitting here waiting for the rain to fall 'cause I know it has to some day, it always has so far. But if it doesn't I'll go on being happy
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101 Posts dating from May 2007
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