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Is this
What love is?
If it is,
I want nothing of it
Because of its ending-
Broken dreams&
Shattered hearts.
Because everyone dies
They leave only me behind
And the more I care
The more it hurts
Then I hurt
Everyone around me
Delight in watching them bleed...
But I'm here too,
And so I hurt me, too,
Make me bleed, too
All because of these three words:
"I love you."
Every time I cannot see,
Every time I don't believe,
Wonder what you think of me,
Or why when you're here I cannot breath;
Maybe it is the love I feel for you,
Or that I would give my life for you
Cast away this empty shell
Lay dying bleeding not believing for you-
Every time I look at you,
Every time you look at me,
Look at me now I cannot breath,
Don't believe you're here with me...
Even though I'm dying in your arms
Still worth it just to see your face
Just to see you again,
Stay with me until the end...
'Til the end...
So, I've decided to go for the domain. What harm can it do, right?
The domain will be a blog about creative writing, fictionalworlds.net or whatever. I'll probably still keep this one around because I do like writing things on other topics. I still have my ultra-personal, but I like having a place where I can do a bit of ranting and a little other stuff where people will see it; this isn't the really personal stuff. This is more like the skin-deep version of my life.
Only, it's not really skin deep. It's slightly deeper. Anyway, that's not what my post is about, my post is about the upcoming domain.
You can expect to see:
~Regular editing updates-the rest of my novel is under lock and key, but you can hear about it.
~Writing exercises as in ideas for them and some I've filled out
~Writing prompts
~Updates on my writing and such
~Poetry
~Thoughts and tips related to writing fiction and poetry.
That sort of thing. There'll probably be more, but that's the gist of it.
I Wish This Was 42 might just get its own domain. Orble has offered me a domain, and if things work out with mother possibly Adsensing on my behalf, I'll be more than happy to accept.
So, let me get this straight: do I pay for web hosting or do they? Same posting format, right, just post from Orble
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First off, I am typo-ing like mad today. But in other news...
I'm technically banned from the internet 'until further notice', which means I'll only be online when mom's at work. Generally this gives me about two or three hours online from when I wake up...which means I might not get to everything in one day
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And thus just a little insane. I get really poetic at odd hours of night; I'll be reading a book and suddenly grab a notebook and curse the missing-ness of a pen. I'll be sleeping and wake up saying 'eureka!'
Makes for a very screwed up sleep schedule. But I also get all profound-like on people when I'm really dazed or numb. Like now I'm just staring at a screen typing whatever on some topic I'm not even sure of. That's why all my dawn exercise thingies are really nice, and I love them. Things just flow at 6AM like at no other time
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Does not exist.
Or rather, a dream within a dream is reality; just a figment of someone's imagination, who is a figment of someone else's imagination
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Well, the guy I like has left for summer camp. He's not coming back until the day before my birthday.
I can't decide if this is a good thing, a bad thing, or an in-between thing. Seriously. On one hand, he IS the guy I like, and I was planning on inviting him to my brithday party, which will make it a very short notice invite. Very short notice if he's coming or not, too. Heh
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Writing is proven as good for the soul. Like chocolate. Writing is a lot like chocolate: addictive, it can keep you up all night, it's therapeutic, and if you sit around writing too much or eating too much chocolate you might just gain a few pounds.
Funnily enough, I'm sitting around, writing and drinking chocolate milk. I actually *can't* drink normal milk without going insane with hatred of that taste. Seriously. I hate milk
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Wonderful. Just wonderful. Yesturday, three things happened that were just horrible.
First off, I realized I'M BLONDE AGAIN!!! I'm going to have to dye my hair again soon. But right now I am very blonde. It makes me angry. I look awful with (or without, but slightly less awful without) blonde hair. It's just.... bad. Makes me look pale in the bad way. Speaking of which I also got a sunburn. My cheeks are pink. I HATE that. -.- Gonna have to buy some concealer... soon... ugh
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Exercise cont.'d
-----------------------------
I became like that elderly man and the Oriental I saw moments ago. Caught in the rythmic beat of my footfalls on the wooden planks of the boardwalk, I ran one block. Onwards, towards the rising sun in all its glory
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This is gonna be in two parts, as I was at the beach a LONG time and wrote EVERYTHING down for the first little while, before it was bright enough to really do much wandering.
If my mom ever finds this blog, I am so, so screwed
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I've been looking for places to live, just to see if anything caught my eye. One house did, $1350 plus utilities, Coxwell& anforth, which is a really nice neighbourhood. What does my mom tell me? She doesn't think we can afford it.
See, this is what happens when you drop out of high school and have a kid when you're only eighteen, and get your GED when you hit 28 or 29. You can't get a good job because you don't have a day of post-secondary education. You get some crappy job at a carwash, paid under the table. You can't afford to get a nice place. You can barely afford to pay $600 of the rent and do fun things, too
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So, because I have nothing better to do-and let's face it, who's going to be on MSN at 6:06AM-I'm going to write a little post about tarot cards.
The first tarot reading I got ages and ages and ages ago was a two card reading in relation to love; the card that popped up that I remember was the Two of Cups, which is symbolic of love in every deck I've ever found. The reader said it meant I was going to find my lifemate soon. (Ish) Which provided my friends with no end of fodder for teasing
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I'm scaring myself. I'm HYPER. I've been up since like 1PM, and I'm HYPER. I watched the sunrise, although there's really not much sun, it looks like rain. (The weatherman agrees) Actually, it's supposed to thunder.
You know, I really don't think I should be surprised that I'm hyper, I downed 4 glasses of coca cola and had 2 chocolate bars. It's just odd it would take THIS LONG for it to take effect
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Well, life is good; I have nothing to complain about. SO.
-----------
Editing: I got to chapter 20, and I'm reworking 21 into being part of 20. 'S all good
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EZINE, Writing Tomorrow Today, is now Closed Until Further Notice. The server we were on, avidgamers.com, or AG1, has vanished completely and taken EVERYTHING with it, including the website for the ezine.
Which means we are closed until further notice. I'm on the hunt for a server as of now. It needs to be free which makes life more difficult. If anyone's got any bright ideas, I'm all for it. I'm desperate
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Because I'm masochistic I fiddled with my blog formats&crap. I'm not done yet either.
Also because I'm masochistic I'm supposed to write 11 000 words tonight and edit 11 odd chapters of my book. 6K of those words are my new novel-length project
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So, I'm editing Moonshadow, and let me tell you first hand it's living hell. I've barely been able to get past the first five chapters. Not because the book sucks... actually, it's surprisingly good. No, it's because 'motivation' is, at this point, a taboo word for me to speak. I can't actually get the motivation to open the file and EDIT. It's too painful; bad me, I know.
I promised myself I'd finish editing tonight. That was murdered by going out of town; I simply cannot edit a novel in one night. Oh, I can clean my room in a night, but that's DIFFERENT. I can read a book, 400 or more pages, in less than 24 hours, but I can't edit one in that time. Because the latter is much more painful. To actually go through a story and edit it is boring to me; I could be surfing the net, watching videos on bloody well Youtube, reading that Anne Rice book... just about anything
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102 Posts dating from May 2007
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