i survived a heart attack!! "JOKE"
May 3rd 2007 17:32
i went to bed at about four something AM. hubby was already in bed. he has to work a double at the steel mill today. from five AM-midnight. we talked a few minutes, then dozed off. i woke up again when he started climbing out of the bed for work. i told him in a sad voice, that i hated that this had to be our goodbye. he'd be at work when i left. he kissed me and did his little sad voice. he headed into our bathroom,and i dozed off. next thing i'm practically having a heart attack.jumped sooo bad. i felt someones presents from inside my dreamy land. theres hubby, sitting on the floor, next to the bed, just looking at me. lol not sure what he was doing, but from what i think he'd say, "taking my face in, since he wouldn't see me fooo so long." he's a sweet, mushy, thoughtful kind of guy and i sooo adore him. he adores me too and you can see it the second you meet us. i LOVE the way he loves me. ilove taht he felt the need to sit there and "Take my face in!!" i don't look like i did when we met and i LOVE that to him, taht doesn't matter. i went through cancer, getting very, very sick, i lost my daughter from 13.5-18, we where stalked by my ex for over three years. he even loosened the lug nuts on Charlies car once. i just slowly over the years put on weight. i use to have a hard time with it all, but then we moved from the town i grew up in. That changed my life. one day sitting on the computer i just realized FINALLY, that forgiving them all, wasn't about them, it was about me. just like that, my life changed. i think living there in that state, or atleast close to that town where sooo many bad things happened, just wasn't good for me. i always lived life,i always was happy,pretty much, but it was always lurking just under the surface, ready to rear it's hurt, anger and sadness at any momment and often it did. i'm free now. i LOVE being here. i live every single day as if it is mylast. we do stuff here pretty much every single day, wether it's just playing games, watching a netflix, talking and hanging out.
i'm still not packed. <huge laugh> it's all piled by my bags though. all the fun stuff is packed tho.
ok, i'll be back probably. i have may day stuff i'd like to share. we had a BBQ and bonfire. it was a fun night.
Tammy
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Comment by Nickoftime's Sanity Corner
when I got sick I was devastated...not only because I was given a death sentecnce, but because my personal life had just slid into the toilet as well..
I was so down and out of it for almost two whole years...Until one day a song came on that made me snap my head up and listen...
It's was 'Live Like You Were Dyin' by Tim McGraw...if you've never heard it, I suggest you listen to it...the words, the music, the "meaning" behind the song are soul shaking...
I know all about leaving bad "memories" behind me too...That's why I now live in California...and since the move my entire life has taken a dramatic turn for the better...I DO live everyday now as if it were my last and revel in life, bathe in it, emmerse my entire soul in it!
Places, people and things can harbor bad karma all the time, and it can just infest your spirit and your soul and make you feel as if you've been drawn down into the pit of hell...
I am so happy you have someone that wonderful who loves you that much...and that you and your children are happy...That's good karma in perfect working order!
Great post and a lovely picture!
Take care and be well,
Nick
Comment by charliesgirl_992000
Histeries, Mysteries and what not
Lifes little slices
Mystical Creativity
Charlie is sooo good for me!! he has been a HUGE part in my transition.
Thanks for being here!!
Tammy
Comment by Nickoftime's Sanity Corner
anytime hon, anytime! And people DO radiate auras, being a Buddhist I'm into the whole chi, ying yang, Eastern Philosphy thing...
Mainly because it teaches you life lessons exactly LIKE this!
Too often people allow themselves to be "sucked" into negative energy, and it can destroy you if you let it...
You go! Be happy! Radiate that inner light and shine like the beacon of happiness you are!
Much warmth and Zen hugs,
Nick
Comment by charliesgirl_992000
Histeries, Mysteries and what not
Lifes little slices
Mystical Creativity
i LOVE stuff like this. This is why your such a possative person too. Thats cool!!
Tammy
Comment by Nickoftime's Sanity Corner
there are many aural "vampires" in this world hon, and they'll zap you if they can and drain your chi dry the instant you step into their negative field...!
It's great that your trip was so positive and enlightening...and even more wonderful that you got a crytal to protect your aura and align your chakras!
Now no energy vampires can feed off of your positive aura and drag you down...
In fact, I wear an Amethyst on a pendant around my neck and have been wearing it for years now, because it balances emotions, prevents psychic attack, it's calming, good for nerves, and helps stops addiction...
That's why I know you'll come through your operation with flying colors, because you surround yourself with positive, loving people and strive for that inner peace!
Your companion in good karma,
Nick
Comment by charliesgirl_992000
Histeries, Mysteries and what not
Lifes little slices
Mystical Creativity
i LOVE learning!! especialy about stuff like this.
Tammy