I really do feel...
June 11th 2009 02:17
...like I am going around the friggin' bend. Loop de loop. I am losing what brain matter I have left. I sit all day. I get my "chores" done, like last night's dinner dishes, as early as 6 am. I awake my partner, who is responsible for us both, with a cold glass of grapefruit juice. While he sips and slowly wakes up, I start the task of dish washing. As I finish he brings that final dirty juice glass, smiles and places it the sink only to start the process all over.
I await his morning ritual watching the morning news, mostly for the weather, anything above 65 degress and he finds it "burning up"; we live in San Francisco, it is never burning up, even when it is hot.
His days are long, often surpassing twelve or more hours. He loves his job and that is a saving grace for he has taken on the responsiblity of me. Me who cannot work because of a childhood injury that has caught up with me sooner then expected, yet surprised by it's ability to stop me painfully in my tracks.
I am lucky, fortunate and grateful that I have someone who loves me so deeply. I have been with him for fourteen years and I have never heard him utter and unkind word about anyone, never. They say all people lie, I know tihs to be false, he has never lied to anyone either. We are a unlikely pair. I hide my vulnerabilty behind a list of bravados, he has no reason to hide anything as he lacks any vulnerablity. He truly is that patience.
He is my rock, the reason why. It has been said that journey's end when lovers meet. I was not looking that Sunday evening when we met and the voice in my left ear said with such soft assurance, "He will never break your heart." and he has not, he has given me heart.
I await his morning ritual watching the morning news, mostly for the weather, anything above 65 degress and he finds it "burning up"; we live in San Francisco, it is never burning up, even when it is hot.
I am lucky, fortunate and grateful that I have someone who loves me so deeply. I have been with him for fourteen years and I have never heard him utter and unkind word about anyone, never. They say all people lie, I know tihs to be false, he has never lied to anyone either. We are a unlikely pair. I hide my vulnerabilty behind a list of bravados, he has no reason to hide anything as he lacks any vulnerablity. He truly is that patience.
He is my rock, the reason why. It has been said that journey's end when lovers meet. I was not looking that Sunday evening when we met and the voice in my left ear said with such soft assurance, "He will never break your heart." and he has not, he has given me heart.
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