I have something I need to say
August 2nd 2008 01:08
I haven't written on here in forever, but to come back and see how many votes I received is amazing. But that's not what I needed to say. What I do need to say is this: I was molested. In one of my earlier osts I wrote about how I liked a boy whose name is Kyle. Well we went out a few times and I really liked him, and I thought that he liked me. Apparently I was wrong. One day, in November of 2007, he called me and begged for me to come to his house for a party. I had told him I couldn't go but he kept begging. I had never had a boyfriend before and I didn't want to lose him, so I begged my dad to let my brother take me. when my brother dropped me off nobody was there. Figuring that I was just early I went inside. Now I wish I had turned back.
Kyle brought me down into the basement, which wasn't unusual because he and I had been down there before and I thought that I could handle myself. Dalton was there, my classmate and his "best frines." At first we just hung out and then went into a small area under the stairs where a few bean bags were. I made sure that I was on the outside so that I could get out if need be. But sometiem while we were sitting down, Kyle and Dalton pushed eachother around and I ended up in the middle, and eventualy on my back. Kyle, my boyfriend at the time, held down my arms while Dalton straddled my waist. I used to wear a sports bra with a hoodie over it. Not as a fashion statement but I don't like my body and the hoodie covered up my stomach better. But it was too hot to put on a shirt underneath, again, now I wish I had.
Dalton shoved his tongue down my throat, literally, while he unzipped my hoodie. Then he basically groped me while grinding on me with his tongue in my mouth. I might have been able to get out faster if they hadn't been so huge and Kyle was on the wrestling team so he was pretty strong. I don't know how many times I said to stop when Dalton removed his nasty-ass tongue from my mouth but the never listened.
I have no clue as to how I got my arms free, but I did and I managed to throw Dalton off. I called my brother to come pick me up and I never told anyone.
Until May of this year. But during that time I made myself go on like nothing had ever happened. Of course I couldn't keep it up and began cutting and taking excessive amounts of Tynelol. One day at musical practice (February of 2008) I cracked and told one of my best friends that the world would be better off without me.
Long story short I ended up in a hospital for 12 days. My dad read my diary while I was "locked away" and confronted me the following day in a family therapy session. It took a while, and a hell of a lot of coaxing, but I told him everything. Now I'm going to court and pressing charges. Dalton confessed to the police, but Kyle is still trying to plead innocent.
I don't know why I felt the need to do this, but I did. I want to thank everyone for reading this and for anybody who was molested or raped, talk about it. I know that it's the hardest thing ever, but I promise you that it does help. If you can press charges, I encourage you to do it. It does make you feel better knowing that you are being avenged in some way, and you can be saving another girl from having it happen to them. BEcause you never know, that girl could be your relative, the girld next door, the girl in the back of class, or even your best friend. BUt don't let it eat you alive, trust me, it's the worst thing that you can do.
Dalton shoved his tongue down my throat, literally, while he unzipped my hoodie. Then he basically groped me while grinding on me with his tongue in my mouth. I might have been able to get out faster if they hadn't been so huge and Kyle was on the wrestling team so he was pretty strong. I don't know how many times I said to stop when Dalton removed his nasty-ass tongue from my mouth but the never listened.
Until May of this year. But during that time I made myself go on like nothing had ever happened. Of course I couldn't keep it up and began cutting and taking excessive amounts of Tynelol. One day at musical practice (February of 2008) I cracked and told one of my best friends that the world would be better off without me.
Long story short I ended up in a hospital for 12 days. My dad read my diary while I was "locked away" and confronted me the following day in a family therapy session. It took a while, and a hell of a lot of coaxing, but I told him everything. Now I'm going to court and pressing charges. Dalton confessed to the police, but Kyle is still trying to plead innocent.
I don't know why I felt the need to do this, but I did. I want to thank everyone for reading this and for anybody who was molested or raped, talk about it. I know that it's the hardest thing ever, but I promise you that it does help. If you can press charges, I encourage you to do it. It does make you feel better knowing that you are being avenged in some way, and you can be saving another girl from having it happen to them. BEcause you never know, that girl could be your relative, the girld next door, the girl in the back of class, or even your best friend. BUt don't let it eat you alive, trust me, it's the worst thing that you can do.
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I've known quite a few people who have dealt with that; I actually have an account with All Girl Army, a feminist blogging site/community site that you might like to look into, allgirlarmy.org
*Hugs* It sucks. I know the cutting and the pills thing pretty well; I hope you're getting away from that and that you can recover someday. And I'm glad that you're able to speak out about it; people need to be more aware of things like this.
~Dianna