"I feel like "Yuck!!!" & Wedding stuff
March 10th 2008 11:18
So we're speeding down the interstate headed to Pittsburg for my internel and exteral MRI's. I'm very clausterphobic so thatgives me enough tension as it is. Then the part that it's internel. I've never had one of those but before I went to DC I had an internel and external ultrasound. I figure it's much like that. Wouldn't be sooo bad if only one person went down there, but because I have sooo many fluid build ups all over in my stomach which may be whats causing all the pain because they are pressing on all my organs, My organs are very hard to find, so they had to keep sending in the next step up person to look, until we got to the dr. Me, laying there, legs spread, tent over my legs and such, lady after lady diving in."Oh boy!!!" How emberassing.
I was also up almost all night with pain in both Kidneys. I'm sick and tired of dr's shaking there heads saying 'Well, I don't see any Kidney stones!' and then dropping it. I have had pain for over six months and at night and sometimes durring the day time I can't even get to the bathroom and that has NEVER been an issue. Something is going on. While working on wedding stuff yesterday I screamed and jumped over and over wit spasms in my left kidney. then couldn't sleep because of pain in my right and left. What the heck. They gonna wait until I need two new kidneys, to figure it out?? I can't stand more then a couple minutes without pain. I can't walk without very bad discomfort in my back and kidneys, so I have to sit down alot. I can normally walk forever. I always could. I'm not sure if this MRI is even looking at my kideys or just my stomache and if it's not looking at the kidneys i think I'll scream. My kidneys hurt right now. Both of them. Not like you wanna cry but just nagging at you like maybe someone is just pushing on them.
Top top it all off I ran out of Lepapro three or four days ago and I am withdrawing bad. I don't et have a dr to subsribe them and that is sooo not good.I feel the tears comming very soon. Right now I just have aggitation badly but not sleeping and pain will help cause that. <smiles> I also havent had caffied in about a week. A good strong glass of tea would help there. I just hope I can make it without the lexapro. i don't want to find a dr right this second because as of saterday I can go on a trip if I get thrown into a full fledge depression from being off the pills. i can feel it now BUT after this test, some tea and some sleep I think I may be my cheerful self again. i hope so becaue my depression is bad enough that I almost don't get through it. I feel sooo guilty when I get that depressed because I have such a wonderful life. For me it's everything I've ever dreamed of. I love my life, where i live it and who and what all is in it.
atleast I do have travels if need be. That always helps. I could go to Williamsburg or Atlantic city because they are both close, but My dr and her dad are moving into the trailer on my land in the next week or two. Yep, my X Husband but thats a whole nother post. "We're all friends so it's all good." There is alot of good about this as long as I still get my space. I already have someone in mind to fix him up with. lol because he dissurves a good girl AND I realy hope he doesn't stay single on our land or it will be ackward just a little. Hubby was all for it right away and I wasn't sure about that. i'm excited because he does construction and will fix my trailer all up. i'm also excited because Krystina is moving back.
I am sooo tired!!! If I wanna go somewhere I have to do it soon because I have Puppies comming April 8th and I have to be home in time for them. I'm keeping one or two girls out of this liter for new females because after this liter I only have one female breeding and by time these girls are all two years ld and ready to breed, I'll have none breeding. Lil'Bit is done after this liter so I will be getting her fixed.
We changed Pixies name t "Pyrena" which means "Fire" Kaitlyn is a Leo and the Fire sign and Pyrena was born December 16th which is also a Fire sign. We are looking for names that are notthe norm, for our puppies with strong meaning. I picked a name for one of the new gilrs that means "Moon". I think it's "Mahina". or something close. I anted names at first that meant whatever sign they where like Fire but they all are being born in thefire sign. Sarafena means "Burning fire" so it's a possible choice, but i dn't know. We also like Safara. i don't know. I have a little bit and besides. Not sure if I'll even get two girls or not and If I do, the money for one will be tempting especialy when I need the deposit for the Pere Marquet Lodge in May when we go taste the wedding food and all. The wedding isn't until spring 2009 when they will have been going out for five and a half years and are turning twenty. I'd normally have thought taht was a little young but with them being together that long, and me seeing their relationship day after day..I am supportive and besides, it's either support them and get involved or they go to the justice of the peace and i will not have that for any of my kids. We hve the dresses already. A huge cinderella dress forkaitlyn with real crystals all over it especialy the top. itis breathtaking.
ok, enough for now even though in this traffic it will take awhile to get there.
Tammy
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Comment by Hope
Gifted Parenting
Freelance For Life
I'm sorry to hear you're still in pain. Have you had a second opinion? I hope you feel better soon.
Comment by charliesgirl_992000
Histeries, Mysteries and what not
Lifes little slices
Mystical Creativity
I am feeling somewhat better. Just small flare ups here and there with pain. But 80% better. I see a new dr next week. See what he suggest I do.
Thanks for all the support!!! hugs, Tammy