I'm struggling... and struggling.
Day by day, I'm losing breath, getting faint like a candle melting in fire. No strength, no courage, no wisdom, no hope... Only pain.
Dig deep through me, loneliness has dwelt in place of joy. I'm like hanging on a cliff, pondering if I'd be saved. My heart is betrayed and my desire to be in my rest forever, now embraces me.
I feel sorry for the child in my womb, he is too innocent to feel my pain. He shouldn't miss seeing the world, for the gift of life he has received - I cannot take away.
I am now cold and numb... dead as a corpse.
Have you ever been in so much pain that you felt so inferior about yourself? And that the only thing you could do is keep it to yourself, remain in solitude-feel dumb and numb. That, you felt so not enough, your world gradually tears apart.
Well, I do. And for me, there would nothing be more painful than being hurt by the ones dearest to you. The impact is just so heart-breaking. And suddenly, you feel unworthy as a person, you feel like giving it all up. And when you're both close, you feel as if his touch and embrace were of a stranger.
It breaks my heart truly... but, it livens me up, when I see him smile at me boldly and candidly. That makes me stronger - always trying to get a hold of what we have. But what makes me hang on is the love I'll always cherish while I breathe each day of my life.