How to make a successful Filipino Action Film
April 9th 2008 00:27
Here's the second installment in the How to Make a Successful Filipino film trilogy. This time, focusing on action films. It still boggles me how my dad can get so excited watching these films, when to me, they all look and sound exactly the same (the bullets, the punches)- just with different leading men. So how do you make a guaranteed box-office Filipino film? Read on :
1. First off and most importantly, pick a leading man you can support as the next senator, congressman or president of the Philippines. Heck, if you can, get Manny Pacquio to play the usual film action role of a good cop, ex-cop or dishonoured cop wrongly accused by corrupt colleagues.
2. Pick a title that will eventually be uttered as a threat near the end of the movie – either by the hero to the villain or vice versa . Like these ones (translated from Tagalog titles) – ‘My poison will kill you’ or ‘You’re only one bullet’.
3. The hero should be gruff, no-nonsense and a loner type but is eventually joined (to his reluctance) by a beautiful, sexy love interest (you should include a shower scene there where you can see the woman’s bare shoulders and calves) and a sidekick whom the hero can use as a punching bag – for comical effects. The slapstick, the better.
4. The hero and the villains must wear sunglasses and, despite the scorching heat and humidity, a leather jacket. Or a denim jacket. Or, if you want to salute the 90s action films, have the hero wear nothing but a leather vest and jeans. And a cap.
5. Include a scene where the hero is surrounded by a band of villains, with no weapons so they have to use their fists to fight. But refrain from listening to your common sense and getting the villains to jump on the hero all at the same time. Rather, get them to play tag, like the ones you see in the hammy wrestling matches, where one villain fights the hero, gets thumped heartily, then another villain steps forward to take his place. Keep this going until all the villains are lying on the ground, groaning with the hero standing with nary a scratch. It’d be good if you have this fight in a restaurant (complete with smashed plates, tables and chairs) or on the street with a couple of street vendors with their carts.
6. Oh yeah, the sound of the fist hitting a jaw or a stomach should come in a millisecond before the actual impact. Doing it at the same time will just look…well…unprofessional.
7. The main villain must have many opportunities throughout the movie to finish off the hero but he will always leave the fate of the hero in the (in)competent hands of his cohorts. Don’t make him stick around to watch either but get him to drive off, in a jeep, cackling with a cigarette in his mouth - and a rifle (which the audience will think could have better off left with his cohorts).
8. Include a scene near the middle or the end where the hero and the band of villains are now involved in shooting at each other. Despite running for a long time in open fire, the bullets will miss the hero. But when the hero holds up his gun to shoot, he will never miss his target. Most of the villains should be lying injured on the ground while only a couple escape to let the main villain know what happened.
9. The final confrontation between the hero and the villain should be drawn out as long as possible – include a dramatic scene where they are standing on either side of a wall with their guns poised. Get them to talk about anything under the sun, as long as it goes on for about 5 minutes or so. Now is the time to utter the line of the movie in a low, menacing voice. Finally, the hero kills the villain with a gun while injured - either slumped against a wall or lying on his back .
10. Have a swarm of police, hell, get the whole precinct, arrive after all the bad guys are dead and the hero is limping out of the warehouse where the main villain is now lying dead. The door to a police car should open and the beautiful, sexy love interest and the bumbling side kick stumble out in relief.
2. Pick a title that will eventually be uttered as a threat near the end of the movie – either by the hero to the villain or vice versa . Like these ones (translated from Tagalog titles) – ‘My poison will kill you’ or ‘You’re only one bullet’.
3. The hero should be gruff, no-nonsense and a loner type but is eventually joined (to his reluctance) by a beautiful, sexy love interest (you should include a shower scene there where you can see the woman’s bare shoulders and calves) and a sidekick whom the hero can use as a punching bag – for comical effects. The slapstick, the better.
4. The hero and the villains must wear sunglasses and, despite the scorching heat and humidity, a leather jacket. Or a denim jacket. Or, if you want to salute the 90s action films, have the hero wear nothing but a leather vest and jeans. And a cap.
5. Include a scene where the hero is surrounded by a band of villains, with no weapons so they have to use their fists to fight. But refrain from listening to your common sense and getting the villains to jump on the hero all at the same time. Rather, get them to play tag, like the ones you see in the hammy wrestling matches, where one villain fights the hero, gets thumped heartily, then another villain steps forward to take his place. Keep this going until all the villains are lying on the ground, groaning with the hero standing with nary a scratch. It’d be good if you have this fight in a restaurant (complete with smashed plates, tables and chairs) or on the street with a couple of street vendors with their carts.
6. Oh yeah, the sound of the fist hitting a jaw or a stomach should come in a millisecond before the actual impact. Doing it at the same time will just look…well…unprofessional.
7. The main villain must have many opportunities throughout the movie to finish off the hero but he will always leave the fate of the hero in the (in)competent hands of his cohorts. Don’t make him stick around to watch either but get him to drive off, in a jeep, cackling with a cigarette in his mouth - and a rifle (which the audience will think could have better off left with his cohorts).
8. Include a scene near the middle or the end where the hero and the band of villains are now involved in shooting at each other. Despite running for a long time in open fire, the bullets will miss the hero. But when the hero holds up his gun to shoot, he will never miss his target. Most of the villains should be lying injured on the ground while only a couple escape to let the main villain know what happened.
9. The final confrontation between the hero and the villain should be drawn out as long as possible – include a dramatic scene where they are standing on either side of a wall with their guns poised. Get them to talk about anything under the sun, as long as it goes on for about 5 minutes or so. Now is the time to utter the line of the movie in a low, menacing voice. Finally, the hero kills the villain with a gun while injured - either slumped against a wall or lying on his back .
10. Have a swarm of police, hell, get the whole precinct, arrive after all the bad guys are dead and the hero is limping out of the warehouse where the main villain is now lying dead. The door to a police car should open and the beautiful, sexy love interest and the bumbling side kick stumble out in relief.
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