These Films aren't Scary
September 2nd 2006 12:47
You call that a Horror Film?
A long anticipated horror film a few summers ago was ‘Van Helsing’. The film was full of every creature that was in almost every classic horror but it was anything but scary. It got me wondering about other horror films of recent years, were they living up to scare factor that they should? Was I cringing in fear at precise intervals and jumping out of my seat? Did they make my grind my teeth in the hope that this would be over an I'd be safe again? Was I being disturbed and tortured as much as the actors were on the screen? In short did they horrify me? In the vast majority of films I would have to answer no to all questions.
Sorry ‘Van Helsing’ but CGI bat creatures, sexy vampires and bible quoting Frankenstein monsters are not scary. Entertaining and comedic maybe, but they offer nothing in the form of an adrenaline rush. Perhaps I am not being fair and have chosen a poor example. What about the ‘Mothman Prophesies’? What should every monster film have at the end? I don’t know, perhaps a confrontation between the monster and the lead character, but instead we get a collapsing bridge sequence, not very scary. When I watched ‘Jeepers Creepers 2’ it was so tame that the only problem I had in showing it to young children was the course language. No such problem when you watch ‘The X-Files’ on television expecting to be given a fright but despite the icky makeup and eerie music I am yet to sleep with the light on. ‘Charmed’? Okay I was kidding? However why did anyone bother with ‘Alien Verses Predator’? The concept was silly and it showed all the way through a film that was as frightening as ‘Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein’. 'The Village' was good drama but not a good scare.
Perhaps the art form has been ruined by over indulgence by Hollywood studios trying to make a fast buck. Perhaps after watch every manner of gore being displayed in medical documentaries and hospital dramas I have been so desensitized that nothing seems disturbing. Is it because there have been so many horror film that you can predict the story? Have we seen so many aliens bursting out of chests that it ceases to bother us? Or how many brains in a jar did you see lately without looking away?
Perhaps I’ve been watching the wrong films lately and there are some real classics out there. If there are I yearn to know.
In the mean time I will list a few films that did hit horror bone in the past:
Alien (the original): Face hugger, first time chest thing, unseen monster
Poltergeist: the man with his face problems, the last few minutes before all hell breaks loose.
Event Horizon: the visions of Hell stuff,
The Exorcist: It just was, okay.
Perhaps some one can add some more modern films to this list for me.
A long anticipated horror film a few summers ago was ‘Van Helsing’. The film was full of every creature that was in almost every classic horror but it was anything but scary. It got me wondering about other horror films of recent years, were they living up to scare factor that they should? Was I cringing in fear at precise intervals and jumping out of my seat? Did they make my grind my teeth in the hope that this would be over an I'd be safe again? Was I being disturbed and tortured as much as the actors were on the screen? In short did they horrify me? In the vast majority of films I would have to answer no to all questions.
Sorry ‘Van Helsing’ but CGI bat creatures, sexy vampires and bible quoting Frankenstein monsters are not scary. Entertaining and comedic maybe, but they offer nothing in the form of an adrenaline rush. Perhaps I am not being fair and have chosen a poor example. What about the ‘Mothman Prophesies’? What should every monster film have at the end? I don’t know, perhaps a confrontation between the monster and the lead character, but instead we get a collapsing bridge sequence, not very scary. When I watched ‘Jeepers Creepers 2’ it was so tame that the only problem I had in showing it to young children was the course language. No such problem when you watch ‘The X-Files’ on television expecting to be given a fright but despite the icky makeup and eerie music I am yet to sleep with the light on. ‘Charmed’? Okay I was kidding? However why did anyone bother with ‘Alien Verses Predator’? The concept was silly and it showed all the way through a film that was as frightening as ‘Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein’. 'The Village' was good drama but not a good scare.
Perhaps I’ve been watching the wrong films lately and there are some real classics out there. If there are I yearn to know.
In the mean time I will list a few films that did hit horror bone in the past:
Alien (the original): Face hugger, first time chest thing, unseen monster
Poltergeist: the man with his face problems, the last few minutes before all hell breaks loose.
Event Horizon: the visions of Hell stuff,
The Exorcist: It just was, okay.
Perhaps some one can add some more modern films to this list for me.
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Comment by Adrian
Philosophy Blog
I'd personally distinguish scare films from horror films from thrill films. Alien and Aliens were more, for me, about action and thrill. Tends to be only supernatural things that really send a shiver down my spine.
Comment by Anon
Other classics in my opinion, include Halloween and Texas Chainsaw, not for their particularly clever plot, but it just made me scream. Which, let's face it, is a big part of what makes a decent horror movie.
Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
Check out the Japanese Horrors instead (Ringu, The Eye, Ausdition etc)..or Spanish (The Nameless, Devils Backboen, Cronos etc) or German (Haute Tension)these 3 countries have been turning out superior fright products for teh last decad now and taken over from the soulless U.S
Also the UK has done alright with Neil Marshal's The Descent a wonderful, tense excercise in claustrophobic tension...