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Hillbilly Lovin' or Backdoor Banditry?

September 28th 2007 07:36
Greetings to the webway's quixotic biatches!

Obviously drawn by the sado-masochistic title of my previous post, an individual utilising the pseudonym "Sir-Spanks-a-Lot" has obviously pulled his head out of his KFC bucket (or is trough more appropriate?), put on some pants for the first time this week (no doubt to avoid healthy-sized skid-marks on his computer chair) and decided to give me my first prompt:

"Oi you do you reckon its worse to sleep with your sister or a dude?"

(...he said in no doubt dulcet tones... with a sliver of the Colonel's finest chicken skin hanging out the side of his mouth...)


It's an interesting conundrum to work out. Given the author's propensity for fried Southern chicken... and the fact that he sounds like a genetic step away from a dog turd... he's probably going to fall arse-over-tits on the Hillbilly Lovin' side of the fence. But let not this modern day Cicero convert you with his sweet words. Let's have a think about it.

Doing the Sister Act

Let's be honest. If you're the kind of guy whose idea of "getting some this weekend" is buying a bottle of K-Y Jelly on Friday night and naming their left hand "Veronica", you probably don't really have a discerning palate when it comes to women.

But if the girl you're forced to choose just happens to be your sister, maybe you won't run into any problems. You could be Jim Corr and be potentially tapping this:




But then again, if you're in a Southern U.S.A locale, you could be facing this:

Picture not tampered with!


Naturally your reaction to a photo like that might be something like this:



At the end of the day, I'd rather not be taking my chances on creating my own strand of Urban Mutants (- if you're a fan of horror films, that actually may sound alluring). You may even get lucky - and the child mightn't have fins or an American accent. But the odds are that offspring from a shallow gene pool are likely to be as irritatingly stupid as Alexander Downer's effeminate lisp. My reaction to such an individual...

Something like this cop:

Click for Inbred Behaviour

I think at the end of the day, you're safer to stick with other men. Hey they might even like football! If you're really lucky, you'll be the one on all fours looking away when the deed takes place.

Post your comments, whines and suggestions for tomorrow's main course for intellectual dissection here.

So says MacDaddy - Mogul of Sexy
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