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Evil Apple or Good Apple?
Sure, there's one in every crowd. That person that shoves their love and respect for Apple products in your face, just that little bit too far, like that over enthusiastic born again christian feels the need to shove in your face the fact you need to be 'saved' by god unless you want to burn in eternal hell. Well that person is me, at least in-regards-to owning Apple products. However, there's a few points I need to raise to justify this and how it feels like it's all about to change...
It started small back in 2008 when I for the first time stood outside in the cold lined up in the darkness of the morning for hours to be lucky person number 6 to receive an iPhone 3G. It was novel, smart phones and touch screen phones to a lesser extent had very little market share or support from the public. However, I very quickly fell in love with the iPhone because, "it just worked." Sure it didn't have as many features or beefy specs like other phones at that point but it did it's own thing in a much more elegant way and it was awesome. The Apple fanboyisim was raised to a whole new level when I bought a Mac. It was really nice that features and products worked, snappy and fast unlike every PC I had bought that becomes bloated and slow after a year and my phone worked perfectly with it. I also really felt, every time someone whinged about their PC I should make a point about Macs because they at that point were completely underrated. One year on and my Mac is still like brand new, (See, there I go again.)
In the past year with the introduction of the iPad and the popularity of the iPod Touch almost every man and his dog has an iPhone. It's like the Nokia 5110 of 2010. I'm very sure because of this it has also has also increased the sales of macs exponentially in a similar fashion to the Apple iLife adoption craze I, only a year prior had experienced. Now, every lecture room I sit in, I see more and more Macs and glowing Apples on the case, the same can be said for coffee shops and general television and media placement, they're everywhere! Earlier this year, Apple also surpassed Microsoft in-regards-to wealth. Which is pretty amazing for a company who less than a decade ago was on life support and Dell's CEO at the time come forward and suggested Apple close down and relinquish all profit to share holders before everyone lost out.
What is starting to get me now is the fact that more and more iPhones, Macs and iPads that get into general circulation, boosts Apples needs to raise the stakes, which in a competitive sense has been great as it has spurred healthy competition and feature evolution amongst it's products. I also fear that my now once niche, "it just works" company will become that of Microsoft pumping out products to meet demand but ever so slowly losing quality control due to the prior. This has been demonstrated by the iPhone 4, it's revolutionary antenna turned into a dud as it may have not been throughly tested and ends up negating signal when held. I also fear the large scale introduction of phishing and virus creation targeted at Mac computers which in the past hasn't been a problem as it was a pretty small following.
I really hope that Apple is able to cope with its growth and that the products that I really love will retain the quality they've always had.
Well, that being said, I'm going to drink a bottle of vodka and play angry birds on iPhone. Then maybe do some tapir decoupage...
Whilst the world masks up to aviod catching swine flu, I do nothing. No, that's not true. I take my health very seriously thank you! I'm drinking three times the amount of alcohol than usual to kill any virus, pathogen or antigen which so much as even tries to get all up in this. For those of you who aren't a big tough alcoholic man like me, you'll be needing the UV sanitiser.
UV light proven to kill bacterial and viral DNA after a 10 second scan
Lightweight & convenient cell phone sized for maximum portability
Operates on 2 AAA batteries
Tested by independent laboratories worldwide
10 second timer switch for safe UV usage
Ladies, listen up. I give this 10 out of 10 heaps goods, get one. And I'll give you the best night of your life: McDonalds, bowling (lawn preferably) then you'll drive me home, must be before 11, my mum gets worried... Ladies? Hey.... ladies?
GET UV SANITISER
Do you too like to stand in the door way and watch your room mate sleep for hours on end? I know I don't, Ha! That'd be creepy right?
Shaun, I swear to god, I was just passing by the door that time, I'm super serial...
Anyway, some sort of morbid creative genius has created the blood pooled pilliow but they instead have decided to call it "THE GREAT SLUMBER a.k.a. Blood Puddle Pillow" against my best judgement. What would I know though, i'm not a design student/artist/gypsie whatever. No, that's right, I'm not. I'm just plain awesome instead.
[The Great Slumber
The pillows are inspired by those suspenseful moments when a sleeping loved one is a little too still for a little too long. Using an irreverent combination of comfort & fear the pillows parallel sleep & death. Project goal: taking ownership of morbidly intrusive thoughts through humor & play.
averaging size: 16" x 16"
materials: Silk Velvet & Batting.
I give it 6 out of 10 Heaps Goods. It would get a higher rating but it's a conceptual design piece and not for sale, which is a nice arty farty way of saying, "you'll never get your common mits on one". So take that, super bitches. I'm off to staple important documents to my work colleagues desks while they're at lunch.
P.S. Huge shout out to Caroline for sending this one in. Caroline, you can take a big bite out of my mettwurst and place it in a book anyday...
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Remember when the humble personal computer was the size of your house and didn't have a colour screen, let alone the interent? No? Well, either do I. A lot has changed since then apparently. Fast forwarding several (hundred, maybe?) years to today and now we have USB storage devices the size of a single finger digit, or if you ask my now ex-girlfriend, the same size as my penis. Bitch
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You wouldn't really give much credit to creatures that eat where they crap but apparently gold fish are highly trainable. Whilst passivley swmming around in their own microfarticles, you can easily teach gold fish to swim through hoops, play soccer or even shoot freakin' laser beams! Okay, so I made the last bit up but they should totally include freakin' lasers in the kit though
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I know I speak for everybody when I say the best drinks are the easiest and tallest drinks... Yeah, that doesn't even any make sense, i'm drunk. Anyway, Straight from somewhere far away and specifically undisclosed comes a new type of coffee and tea, as not to discriminate by having one or the other, i'm bringing both tea and coffee, straight up, take that, i'm beverage neutral
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Something straight out of the gospel of stupid for you. A man was found unconcious on the floor of a home he had broken into in Malaysia. He was eventually found by the home owners 3 days later when they returned from a holiday. The Burglar alleges a spirt had held him there for that time without food or water, he was suffering severe dehydration
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If I've learnt anything from life it's that you should never shave off your pubes with a razor blade. I had to learn that the hard way for 3 uncomfortable weeks. However, for those of you who are proud of your hair but feel the need to match your carpet with your drapes so to speak. Betty Beauty has got the solution for you, pubic safe hair dye. I doubt Betty Beauty is her real name. I bet she's really called maureen and she's 50 something, hauled up in a New York city appartment with 62.5 cats, chain smoking whilst mixing these beautiful colours to send to you. Oh Betty Beautiful, you're so dreamy
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I love animals, that's why I eat them. All seriousness aside though, Lifestyle Pets has what they describe as the most beautiful cats in the world. For 20 grand, you too could have one. Nothing better than having a semi-wild family pet that may one day unprovoked eat your face off, whilst you sleep. Enjoy kiddies
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With Christmas right around the corner that means one thing. Well, two things. I'm going to get seriously drunk, alone. Also, I'm going get these freakin' gloves from Santa, baby! (seriously, this is your last chance you jolly bastard, I'll piss in your milk the next year
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