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Surviving Rural Life - by bumpkin

slip slop slap-wear that hat!

September 16th 2006 07:13
This is the typical leg of a farmer after a couple of days in the sun. The white is where the farm boot and socks have been. The red signifies the change from farm jeans to shorts. If you are looking for a bloke with an even tan - don't look at a farmer!
farmer's tan
no such thing as an even tan!


Farmers have become very aware of the need to protect themselves from the sun. They have had enough friends having skin cancers removed, to know some care is required. Slopping on the suncream is not always practical especially if it is getting mixed with dust. The shirts stays on more these days - even if they have sleeves removed - a concession somewhere between the blue singlet and the full shirt. However, there seems to be no trouble getting a hat of some sort on their head. Some,however are of dubious value.
Hats
Yes, of course I took a hat

The best are the big wide brimmed variety. Best at blowing off in the first breeze and landing in the oil patch or for getting a good grip on it when there is a need to discipline the dog with a well directed clip under the ears. They are also best however at protecting the ears- but the rule is never to take your best one to farm field days and always wear it slammed right down on your head so that you can only just see what is going on - that way you don't lose it. Or if you are really organised you will have a chin strap!

The next most popular hat are the complimentary caps that have turned up in great abundance from every possible tractor company, chemical company and even financial company representative that has ever put his foot on the farm. There is at least two for every member of the family hanging around the house. Unlike their city cousins' dubious style, farmers wear theirs the right way around as they keep the sun out of their eyes, but that is about all you can say in their favour. Skin cancers have been known to appear on ears as well.
Then there is the assortment of other hats that can be anything from the good old white??? towelling hat slammed tightly into place to mum's old straw hat - because in their hurry they couldn't find theirs - it is probably still in the sheep yard from the time he threw it at the dog.
The only people with decent hats are the stock agents - always clean, neatly fitted and sitting correctly on their heads. So that's how you tell the difference between the farmer and the stockiie! It's his Hat!
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