hard to say
November 2nd 2007 02:53
Why are there some things in life that are just difficult to say? Things like "you have something in your teeth", "maybe you should try another size" or "I think your boyfriend is gay." All statements that would probably result in the best outcome for everyone, and yet we often remain mute.
Is honesty really the best policy? We are told so, but then we are also told that a little white lie never hurt anyone. If the little white lie about your best friend's skirt not being too tight results in her being called fat while she's at the bar, surely that's gotta hurt.
As embarrassing as it is for both parties to have the "you have something on your face/ass/hair" conversation, or any exchange involving the thing you really don't want to say but really should, it's more embarrassing when the unmentioned offending item stays with the person into a business meeting, a crowded train, or out for the evening.
Shouldn't the age old adage of treat others as you want to be treated kick in here? I want to know if I have something in my teeth, if my fake tan looks fake, or if I really don't suit yellow. I have given up hoping people will be kind enough to inconspicuously point such things out, and now I dont wait to be (not) told. My good friends now know to expect a ridiculously toothy grin from me after any meal, to which I don't even need to ask a question any more. I get the "you're fine" or the indication as to which teeth are not.
But why are there so many things that we know we really should say, but often struggle with? The something in the teeth statement is obviously one of these, but why do so many of us also struggle with "I'm sorry."? If life is full of lessons to be learned, and if we're told from an early age that it's okay to make mistakes, why are we often so loath to admit that we actually have? Similarly to the recommendation of a different outfit to the friend who won't admit to weight gain, surely uttering the words, as difficult as they may be at the time, do make things better in the long run. Our hesitation in the short term often makes things even more difficult, or embarrassing than they would have been otherwise. The question "why didn't you tell me?" is even more difficult to deal with than pointing out the spinach in the teeth. The "I'm sorry", even if whatever caused the required apology was only half your fault, is often less difficult to say when it first pops into your head than after you've held a grudge for another week. But still, we remain silent.
Why? Well, it's hard to say.
Is honesty really the best policy? We are told so, but then we are also told that a little white lie never hurt anyone. If the little white lie about your best friend's skirt not being too tight results in her being called fat while she's at the bar, surely that's gotta hurt.
As embarrassing as it is for both parties to have the "you have something on your face/ass/hair" conversation, or any exchange involving the thing you really don't want to say but really should, it's more embarrassing when the unmentioned offending item stays with the person into a business meeting, a crowded train, or out for the evening.
Shouldn't the age old adage of treat others as you want to be treated kick in here? I want to know if I have something in my teeth, if my fake tan looks fake, or if I really don't suit yellow. I have given up hoping people will be kind enough to inconspicuously point such things out, and now I dont wait to be (not) told. My good friends now know to expect a ridiculously toothy grin from me after any meal, to which I don't even need to ask a question any more. I get the "you're fine" or the indication as to which teeth are not.
But why are there so many things that we know we really should say, but often struggle with? The something in the teeth statement is obviously one of these, but why do so many of us also struggle with "I'm sorry."? If life is full of lessons to be learned, and if we're told from an early age that it's okay to make mistakes, why are we often so loath to admit that we actually have? Similarly to the recommendation of a different outfit to the friend who won't admit to weight gain, surely uttering the words, as difficult as they may be at the time, do make things better in the long run. Our hesitation in the short term often makes things even more difficult, or embarrassing than they would have been otherwise. The question "why didn't you tell me?" is even more difficult to deal with than pointing out the spinach in the teeth. The "I'm sorry", even if whatever caused the required apology was only half your fault, is often less difficult to say when it first pops into your head than after you've held a grudge for another week. But still, we remain silent.
Why? Well, it's hard to say.
| 49 |
| Vote |
Subscribe to this blog
Comment by Harry
Sydney Diary
Personals
Brisbane Diarystar
Zoo Parent
Comment by Nance