Growing and learning with your children
July 11th 2009 18:32
When I was preganant with my first child.... many years ago I will always remember my doctor saying to me "If a teacher wants to have a child, she probably knows what she is getting in to." He must have thought that I knew a great deal more than I actually di know. Because there was a great deal that I did not know about raising children to be successful adults. Today I am ever so glad that my children are grown and self sufficient..... for the most part. If I had thought that my days of being needed as a parent would end when the children reached adulthood I was wrong. I am enjoying the interactions with my adult children and being a resource for them as they navigate their way through life.
I have to admit that being a parent was the greatest learning experience of my life. It is a thrill to watch my grown children and be a part of their lives. They still continue to amaze me with their thoughtful insights into life and teach me things. For instance my son who is currently serving this country in the Marines. One of our conversations he shared an observation with me that I thought was quite astute. He is the youngest man in his specialize six man team. All the other team members are married and have families. Through his conversations with them Josh has observed that parents are learning right along with their children. I do not know of a statement that has any more truth to it than that one.
PARENTING 101
As a result of my work experience I have often thought that people should be required to pass a test before they are allowed to bring children into this world. That probably sounds too much like a weird world to live in but our society seems to have become so preoccupied with personal gain and selfish goals and ambition that the needs of children have been thrown to the wayside. Child abuse and neglect often seem out of control. We learn in the news that parents are using drugs and or alcohol with their children present or introducing it to the youngest of children. Respect for children as individual human beings has been lost. Here are some things to consider BEFORE becoming a parent:
1. No deposit - No return -Make sure you want to take on a job that you will have for at least the next 20 years.
2. Commitment -Make sure you are ready to give up lots of personal time and freedom to do whatever you want. - The needs of the children will have to come first.
3. Sense of Humor - Some days you will need to laugh a lot to keep from losing your mind. Always remember children ( like ourselves) are a work in progress.
4. Use your common sense - When making decisions for your children asking advise of experts is helpful but you can trust in your own judgement.
5. Be a cheerleader - Very young children sense the love and acceptance (or lack of)from their parents and caregivers.
6. Be consistent - Think about the rules or guidelines that are most improtant to you and what your expectations are for children. This might be an area to check out advise from experts. Do your expectations of children ( of any age) align with what is developmentally appropriate? There are many books availble to help you with this concept. One of my favorites is Dr. Dobson. He writes books for parenting at all ages.
7. Be Prepared to Play Your house will probably never be as neat as a pin (for very long) for a long time to come. Children learn best through play and often messy play teaches the most lessons. If you start when children are young cleaning the house can be a game ( of sorts) but starting when they are eager to help and participate allows lessons to be taught and skills developed so that when enthusiasms wane the skill will and the concept that everyone helps around the house will fill most of the gap.
8. Two parents are better than one It is by design that it takes two parents to make a child because the team approach to child rearing works better. This is not to say that a single parent cannot successfully raise a child. It can be done. Having experienced both situations.....the team approach is easier on the parent as long as the parents work as a team. Agree on the big stuff and understand that your parenting styles are not going to be identical. Children actually can benefit from the differences.
These are some basic thoughts that I wish all people would consider before they become parents but then we would live in a perfect world. So I would hope that young parents take seriously their responsibilites as parents, enjoy the process, don't be afraid to ask for help when you have questions and realize that their greatest influence on the world will be the influence that they have on their children. Children who will have to be prepared to face the challenges the world will present to them long after we are gone.
I have to admit that being a parent was the greatest learning experience of my life. It is a thrill to watch my grown children and be a part of their lives. They still continue to amaze me with their thoughtful insights into life and teach me things. For instance my son who is currently serving this country in the Marines. One of our conversations he shared an observation with me that I thought was quite astute. He is the youngest man in his specialize six man team. All the other team members are married and have families. Through his conversations with them Josh has observed that parents are learning right along with their children. I do not know of a statement that has any more truth to it than that one.
PARENTING 101
As a result of my work experience I have often thought that people should be required to pass a test before they are allowed to bring children into this world. That probably sounds too much like a weird world to live in but our society seems to have become so preoccupied with personal gain and selfish goals and ambition that the needs of children have been thrown to the wayside. Child abuse and neglect often seem out of control. We learn in the news that parents are using drugs and or alcohol with their children present or introducing it to the youngest of children. Respect for children as individual human beings has been lost. Here are some things to consider BEFORE becoming a parent:
1. No deposit - No return -Make sure you want to take on a job that you will have for at least the next 20 years.
2. Commitment -Make sure you are ready to give up lots of personal time and freedom to do whatever you want. - The needs of the children will have to come first.
3. Sense of Humor - Some days you will need to laugh a lot to keep from losing your mind. Always remember children ( like ourselves) are a work in progress.
4. Use your common sense - When making decisions for your children asking advise of experts is helpful but you can trust in your own judgement.
5. Be a cheerleader - Very young children sense the love and acceptance (or lack of)from their parents and caregivers.
6. Be consistent - Think about the rules or guidelines that are most improtant to you and what your expectations are for children. This might be an area to check out advise from experts. Do your expectations of children ( of any age) align with what is developmentally appropriate? There are many books availble to help you with this concept. One of my favorites is Dr. Dobson. He writes books for parenting at all ages.
7. Be Prepared to Play Your house will probably never be as neat as a pin (for very long) for a long time to come. Children learn best through play and often messy play teaches the most lessons. If you start when children are young cleaning the house can be a game ( of sorts) but starting when they are eager to help and participate allows lessons to be taught and skills developed so that when enthusiasms wane the skill will and the concept that everyone helps around the house will fill most of the gap.
8. Two parents are better than one It is by design that it takes two parents to make a child because the team approach to child rearing works better. This is not to say that a single parent cannot successfully raise a child. It can be done. Having experienced both situations.....the team approach is easier on the parent as long as the parents work as a team. Agree on the big stuff and understand that your parenting styles are not going to be identical. Children actually can benefit from the differences.
These are some basic thoughts that I wish all people would consider before they become parents but then we would live in a perfect world. So I would hope that young parents take seriously their responsibilites as parents, enjoy the process, don't be afraid to ask for help when you have questions and realize that their greatest influence on the world will be the influence that they have on their children. Children who will have to be prepared to face the challenges the world will present to them long after we are gone.
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