Good...
September 19th 2008 10:53
...morning. After 3 am, can't sleep, nothing going on, just a long nap yesterday late afternoon. I like this time, feel like the only person awake in San Francisco, which of course is far from the truth.
I have lost, no regained ground after battling my relatives and close friends, I am still in shock over what has transpired since mid August, but has time wanes so does my anxiety. I have lost what I thought to be people I could trust, count on. People I loved and thought loved me in return. I still love them, but knowing full well to be around them would be harmful to my emotional health. Best to let go, but of course, you ask them politely not to contact you, some not so politely as pointedly, yet they still contact you via phone, emails, snail mail even using website venues to contact you directly for them, crazy.
Now, I don't know about you but, would you want to continue on with someone that ask you not? I wouldn't, yet I continue erasing unlistened to phone messages and writing return to sender on cards. My gramma used to say too little too late. She is right.
It is still a sad day to me when relatives/friends cannot respect each other enough to encourage and support, instead of lie and bring down. It is a mystery to me why others want others to feel bad. What's the point? Is there a point? Or is it all just pointless to start?
I have lost, no regained ground after battling my relatives and close friends, I am still in shock over what has transpired since mid August, but has time wanes so does my anxiety. I have lost what I thought to be people I could trust, count on. People I loved and thought loved me in return. I still love them, but knowing full well to be around them would be harmful to my emotional health. Best to let go, but of course, you ask them politely not to contact you, some not so politely as pointedly, yet they still contact you via phone, emails, snail mail even using website venues to contact you directly for them, crazy.
It is still a sad day to me when relatives/friends cannot respect each other enough to encourage and support, instead of lie and bring down. It is a mystery to me why others want others to feel bad. What's the point? Is there a point? Or is it all just pointless to start?
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