Always Good To Plan Ahead
March 29th 2009 14:34
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Pouty Lips Are Sexy
March 29th 2009 14:33
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Radio Conversation
March 27th 2009 11:23
This is supposed to be the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.
- Please change your direction 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
- Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to South to avoid a collision.
- This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
- No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
- THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER ENTERPRISE, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!
- This is a lighthouse. Your call.
- Please change your direction 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
- Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to South to avoid a collision.
- This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
- No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
- THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER ENTERPRISE, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!
- This is a lighthouse. Your call.
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ATM
March 27th 2009 11:23
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts[ Click here to read more ]
"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts
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Money
March 27th 2009 11:22
There was a man who worked all of his life and saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."
So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him[ Click here to read more ]
So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him
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Alligators in the Pool
March 27th 2009 11:22
A CEO throwing a party takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion. In the back of the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen.
The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators[ Click here to read more ]
The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators
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Smart Student
March 27th 2009 11:21
The college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class, and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late.
Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student's immediate family[ Click here to read more ]
Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student's immediate family
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Cinderella Would Be Shocked
March 27th 2009 11:20
Sure, there are some pretty stupid criminals out there. Yet this excerpt from a Washington Post article proves that not all criminals are dumb – in fact, some are so clever that the Post labeled this article, "The Best Comeback Line Ever"
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday[ Click here to read more ]
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday
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Medical Problem
March 27th 2009 11:19
An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I do that all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I did it no less than twenty times. What can I do?"
"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week[ Click here to read more ]
"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week
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Catch a Rabbit
March 27th 2009 11:18
The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in[ Click here to read more ]
The CIA goes in
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